Mini rants

Bitch here about things that don’t really deserve their own Pit rant. This thread is for the people in this thread who are quitting smoking, or for anyone else who wants to rant about something small. It’s OK if your rant is shallow and/or petty.

Women’s pants, dresses, and skirts with no pockets I’m sure some fashionista will justify them by saying “they have a nicer line” or some such bullshit. For one, I prefer that my pants or skirts not make it quite so obvious what the actual size of my ass is. A girl should have some mystery about her, after all. And furthermore, women are allowed to drive now, and a lot of us carry cell phones. It’s damned inconvenient to have to fish around in our purses for our keys and cell phones.

Allergy attacks that happen for no apparent reason I had a nasty one last night. I don’t think I did anything much different than I do on a normal night, but for some reason my nose was running like a faucet all evening, which it normally does not do. It’s summer, it hasn’t rained for a couple of months, and everything that gives me allergies is supposed to be fucking dead by now. Why the hell am I still getting allergy attacks?

Traffic lights in my town Why are they timed such that, when I’m in a hurry, I’m going to hit every damn one of them red?

Today’s Dilbert strip It was sexist and not funny, and I say that as someone who gets some guilty pleasure from a good man-bashing or woman-bashing joke.

For Better or for Worse Why did Lynn Johnston have to drop the story arc with Elizabeth and Anthony just when it was getting interesting?

Man, my friend, the first two pits on your list were mine, particularly the allergy one. Oh well, here’s more:

People who drive 40 in a 55 zone for no reason. Why? Whyyyyyyy? You’re not old, your car doesn’t have its blinkers on, and there’s no one ahead of you!

**The fact that our office is so cold. ** Yesterday, the temp indoors was at 59 degrees F. :mad:

People who stop in their cars in the middle of the road. Went to downtown Albany today, reluctantly, and one person stopped to chat with someone, one person stopped to double-park, and I’m not sure about the third.

Insomnia. Kept me up until 5 AM on Tuesday night. :mad: :mad: :mad:

Groups of three or more people who decide doorways and hallways are the best places to have a chat.

Mini-work rants:

I hate when someone calls and asks for someone who isn’t here. I then ask if I can take a message. They say, “Uhhh… does he have a voicemail?” Now buddy, would I have asked to take a message if he did? And what? Do you think I am incapable of telling him that his motorcycle is ready? Jeez.


When some person calls to speak to the person who is out. I nicely say, “He isn’t here right now, but I’ll give him the message and he will give you a call as soon as he is in.” Then she says, “WELL, doesn’t he have a cell phone?” Well yes, he does. But I’m not giving that number to you, you stupid, impatient bitch. What you need isn’t that friggin’ important anyway, waiting an hour wont hurt anything. She then went on to ask if I could “give him a ring a ling” to get an answer. I said no. She asked why. “Because it is his lunch hour and, on top of that, he is on his motorcycle so it isn’t like he’ll hear the phone, much less be able to answer it.”

“Well, just wait until you think he is at a stop light and then call.” :smack:

If any one of you fuckers says Shaun Tait has a “slingy action” again, I will go out in the streets and hurt a little old lady, so help me God.

Same goes for “nice one Warney”, “baaaaaaahhld, Shaney” and any variation thereof.

Once I am dictator, slow drivers will be executed.

There should also be a separate line for dumb asses at the store. Some stupid idiot at Savon (I like saying ‘stupid idiot’ for its redundancy) took all year asking for discounts on Diet Coke. Just buy the fucking soda, lady, and get out! Shit, if you don’t have the coupon or left it at home, shut the fuck up already and move on without it. Jeezus.

She’s not in her office. She obviously hasn’t picked up the phone yet. If you let it ring for yet another hour, I will punch you.

Oh, **tdn ** reminded me of another. waves Hi, tdn!
I do not read minds. She didn’t tell me how long she was going to be on the conference call, or when exactly she’s coming back from her meeting, or what she thinks about something. Don’t ask me.

I think they’ve been hosting a world convention of those people for the past few weeks somewhere in the 680 corridor… :mad: It’s even worse when they do it in any lane other than the far right.

This should be the only line that accepts checks. As it is now, I think I have a sign on my forehead saying “check-writing dumbasses get in front of me in line, please”. For the past 15 or so years, there have been these things called ATM cards. If you can write checks from a bank, you can get one of these cards and use it like a normal person, and not make everybody wait while you write a check like a dumbass.

More mini-rants:

People having long, loud discussions in the hallway while I’m trying to concentrate Get an office, morons.

Split ends

My neck muscles Why must they tense up when I’m stressed and make my neck hurt? What the hell good would it do me in an actual emergency to have a stiff neck and stiff shoulders?

Assholes who get bent out of shape about people who use perfectly acceptable normal methods of payment, and in addition, don’t know the difference between an ATM card and a debit card.

Thank god, I’m not the only one who understands this. There are few things that piss me off more in this office than people asking for voicemail after I’ve asked to take a message. The worst part is, some of these addle brain nitwits actually sound disapointed that there is no voicemail!!! Because it sucks so much to leave a message with a live human being. I don’t get it. I just don’t get it.

My biggest mini rant is along the same lines as the slow driver:
The damn slow fascist drivers. You go to pass them on the left and they pull right out in front of you and make you slam your brakes–especially when the street is claer and there is NO REASON for the other car to switch lanes. AAAURGH! What is worng with you!?! Why do you have to impose your slow driving agenda on the rest of the world!?

What’s the difference between an ATM card and a debit card?

Mine are the same card.

And even if you have to, why do you wait until you’re at the front of the line to go digging for your checkbook, and a pen? Did you not know you had to pay? This drives me batty.

Because live human beings make mistakes.

Because live human beings don’t like to listen to me talk for 2 minutes while they try to record the details, and voicemail doesn’t care.

Because messages are often personal, and live human beings who are not the live human being intended to receive them have no particular right to know the content of them.

I was discussing this with my fiancé today! We’re convinced that there is some kind of conspiracy afoot and these people are on a mission to obstruct traffic. Only we can’t figure out who’s paying them or what their motive is.

The caller’s name and number is usually sufficient.

In the days BD (before Debit) an ATM card was just that. You could only use it as at an ATM. A debit card can be used as an ATM card, as well as at most stores to buy things. Kind of like a credit card, but it takes the money right out of your checking acount.
And on preview, jacquilynne, why are you talking for two minutes? Why can’t you give me just the details yourself. I imagine most people don’t like having to sit through a two minute voicemail either. And if it’s personal, say “I’d rather not leave a message, it’s personal. But can you please have so and so call me at-----” Is that so hard? Or as Dung Beetle suggested, just leave a name and number. Problem solved.

Nik, and Diossa, I also don’t like to leave messages with people. Why? Well, for all of the reasons above, but also because I *don’t * have to just leave my name and number on voicemail. I hate doing that. I like to leave a brief and to-the-point message saying

Who I am
What I want
How soon I need the info

That way Dude who I am calling can find the answer before he calls me back! I also like it better for me. I hate calls like, “Julie called, call her back.” I want to know why.

Good point, but it would be great if people would say, “This is such-and-such. Will you have him call me at 123-4567? It’s about blah-blah (or just, it’s really important that I talk to him before two.)” Or even, “What would be a better time for me to reach him?”