Well, the old one disappeared and this one isn’t Christmas related. So, mini-micro-rants.
What the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I just call the dentist and make an appointment? Why can’t I just go to the doctor? Stupid fucking social anxiety. I’m not even getting cold sweats or anxious or anything. I just can’t DO it.
Also, brain, stop wanting to spam everywhere trying to get people to read your livejournal. (which is in my sig. Which I’m not going to put on, because I’ve already used it twice today.) People’ll either read it or they won’t. Just chill. Hey, you’ve already got two regular readers. That’s pretty damn good, innit?
Not so micro: Sis, I swear to god, if you don’t take the cats to the damn vet soon, I’m hauling them to the pound. (not really, but I will take them over the an animal rescue group. Well, maybe). (They’re not sick, but they need a checkup and updated shots and things) You’ve been saying you’re going to take them for like three months now. You have the money, just GO. Aren’t the cats more important than buying fucking shelves? Your priorities are completely fucked up, you know that?
Why is it that my left eye will randomly start watering whenever I even think about putting on makeup? Seriously! I don’t even have to apply the damned eyeshadow and BOOM! It’s like fucking Niagra Falls!
But you know what, stupid left eye? I’m applying makeup anyway and I’ve got mad skills, bitch. I’m waterproofing like a mofo and you will not ruin my eyeshadow today.
Right eye, on the other hand, you are good people. I like you. You don’t ever water. For that, my friend, you will forever be my favorite. Suck on that, left eye.
Ok. Here’s the thing – if you’re the new barista at $tarbucks, and a customer walks in that every other employee recognises, smiles, says hi to and strikes up conversation with – that should clue you in that said customer is what is known as a “regular” and as such, most likely knows (better than you do!) how to make her drink. When said customer politely informs you that the mocha syrup goes in first, then the espresso then – no water – “very little, as in less than a scoop of ice”, well…I’m just sayin’.
So, you screwed up my drink 4 times, ok, no big deal. I am a patient person when it comes to my coffee. I want it to be right. Hell, after you fucked it up the second time (by putting ice on top of the syrup before the espresso), I was willing to let it go and just take whatever. I am not an addict, I could have walked out of there without my drink and been just fine. The last 2 times, it was another (well, two different) employee who corrected you. Don’t look at me and say “this will melt your cup.” Aside from, ya know, buying the same fucking drink every fucking weekday for the last year or more, I happen to have some concept of thermodynamics – when you put cold mocha syrup in the cup first, it tempers the fucking cup. The espresso will not melt the cup.
Ahhhhhh, I feel better. Honestly, I will give everyone a chance. Granted, my drink is a bit confusing to a newbie (although it’s probably the easiest drink on the planet to make once you know it – 3 pumps of mocha syrup in a tall cup followed by 5 shots of espresso and half a scoop of ice), but still – when the customer AND 2 other employees tell you how to make it, don’t get pissy, just do it the way you’re supposed to, ya know?
Seriously woman, get off your ass and take an advil fer chrissakes! Instead of hour after hour of “ooh, I have a headache, ooh, my throat hurts” blah, blah, blah, DO something about it, or shut your flappity gumhole already. Fuck.
I worked at a coffee shop for a long time. Every single day that I ever worked there (including Sundays, and often twice) a man came into the shop and ordered a large (sometimes extra large) mochaccino, extra hot (i.e. 180 degrees instead of the corporate-mandated 140-160). Every day for many years x $4 and up = good customer.
So one day we had a new manager and the regular walked in and my colleague commenced making his drink. The manager asked the regular what he wanted; the regular said “Extra large mochaccino, extra hot.” The manager said “I’m sorry, I can’t make that for you, we have corporate rules about temperature.” The regular said “can HE make it for me?” and pointed to my colleague who was in the process of making his drink, as he had done every day for the past many years. The manager said no. The colleague and the regular and I all tried to convince him but he refused. The regular left and never came back.
I’m presenting at a conference in March, all the way across the country. I looked up prices for flights a while ago, and saw that they were around 350$. No problem.
I look again today - they’re 350$ EACH WAY. Total is about 900 dollars. And I can’t find a flight out late enough in the day to return, so I’ll have to stay two nights (and pay for two hotel nights), unless I want to skip out of the conference early. Aiee.
OH YOU SONOFABITCHING BASTARDY GOATFELCHING COMPUTER!!! I just spent the last 45 minutes of my life trying to get an extremely long payment to balance (308 invoices, some of them with 115 plus line items on them), and the computer just decided to take a shit for no apparent reason! And the sonofabitching bastardy goatfelching program we work in doesn’t save any of your work until it balances.
Okay, deep, cleansing breaths. Try not to throw computer across room. {breathe in} {breathe out}
My mini-rant is about when some “Guest” posts a semi-decent OP and immediately some of the regs start in with the “Oh, please stay here, don’t ever (evar?) leave! Here, let me pay your subscription fee!”
I don’t like overly fawning behavior, such as when someone posts “I love (lurve?) you” in response to some inanity or other.
Seriously state Social Services department, call me back. You want good employees, and I want to work for you. I’m working on a masters degree in your preferred field and I am willing to move pretty much anywhere in the state at this point. You can’t honestly tell me that not one single county in the entire state is hiring. I’m in your hiring pool, and I have references from within your department. Use me already!
Lying about why you destroyed your alarm keypad will not help you. Telling the dealer that “the girl who called me to tell me the backup battery is low told me to take the keypad apart” will not get you a free replacement keypad. It will cause me some stress, and it may put the supervisor to the trouble of going through the voice recordings to prove to the dealer that I didn’t tell you to do that, but you are going to look like a troublemaking liar as well as an idiot when the truth comes out. I know I’ve only been here two months but even I know better than that.
Hah! I was thinking about starting a Pit thread about exactly that behaviour. Instead I got all surly and stuff in the thread where people were doing it. What are we, in high school or something, where we have to beg the cool people to hang out with us? I didn’t do that then, and I’m certainly not starting now; join or don’t join, just be a contributing member/guest and contribute to my entertainment. That’s all I ask.
Surly’s a little harsh, featherlou - you can tell people to quit sucking my dick any day, so long as they ignore you.
My minirant: XBox 360, I love you. You know I love you. You know I give you the good power, the good wireless access, the regular dustings, and only the very best games to be played on you. I treat you right, 360. Why you gotta make me hurt you? Don’t be like this, honey. I love you! Don’t make me power-cycle you, and yank your cords out in rage. I don’t want to have to drop you from a fifth-floor window and cackle madly at the shattering noise you’ll make when you hit the parking lot below. I don’t want you to make me do that, 'cause I love you so much. You know I’m sorry about that silly little fling I had with Viva Pinata - it was bright and shiny, but it didn’t MEAN anything to me! Not like you do, baby. So don’t make me hurt you. Don’t be that way. Just be good, and I can still love you like you like. You know it hurts me to hurt you. So just be good, and everything will be okay.
