Minor Pittings of the Week

The BBQ Pit
61

Whoever is decorating the women’s bathroom where I work, please just stop.

It was one thing when you brought in the fake bouquet and put it on the toilet paper cabinet, under an embroidered cloth that your grandma probably spent months doing. Then you added a Home Interiors print in a cheesy gold frame. Then the teddy bear sitting in a chair on the sink counter–all of this was bad enough.

What the fuck is up with the liquid soap dispenser you decided to bring in? I’m not even sure what that creature is supposed to be–is it a moose? a deer? a reindeer? Why is is wearing pink and purple striped pajamas? And holding a towel? Is it waiting to take a bath in our sink? It’s as fugly as fugly can be. Please quit decorating the bathroom, you tasteless fool.

62

Okay, will I agree that this sounds particularly stupid, driving the wrong way down a one-way street in San Francisco is practically inevitable on occasion. I know I’ve done it, and I’ve been a passenger in a car when someone else has done it, too. I realize the topography presents a major challenge, but if there’s a city with a more poorly thought out street system (I just LOVE driving miles out of my way because I need to turn and every street is one way in the wrong direction), let me know so I can avoid it.

63

Maybe they’re using all the stuff that people have given them as presents that are too ugly to use in your own home? :smiley:

The stopping waaaay back and creeping at the light bugs me, too. Some of us are in manual transmission cars here, and would prefer not to have to do what it takes to move forward until the light actually changes and makes it worth our while.

I would also like to pit the colossal jerk on the freeway last week who would not let me merge onto the freeway. It’s a merge into 100 kph traffic - merge, as the signs the city puts up occasionally, means MOVE OVER OR MAKE A SPACE*! It doesn’t mean keep pace beside me and studiously avoid looking my direction and prevent me from getting on the freeway when my blinker is on and my lane is ending.

*It’s a crying shame that the city needs to put up signs to teach what I have to assume are qualified drivers how to drive, but there ya have it.

64

It is a three lane, one way street. With a crosswalk. A crosswalk with bright, blinking lights, so you can’t miss it.

I am stopped in the far left lane, waiting for two people to CROSS the road at the CROSSWALK. Another car is waiting in the far right lane, for the same reason. Why the fuck would someone come screaming down the middle lane, not even slowing down, and blast through the crosswalk, coming within a foot or two of running down these people? Why the fuck would cars be STOPPED at the CROSSWALK unless, you know, someone was crossing? Idiot.

65

People who wear awful, crazy clothes to work and stock their cubicle end-to-end with pink fluffiness, cat posters etc. so that you can’t see a single square inch of unadulterated cubicle. A woman like this works in an office at Lackland AFB and she drove me INSANE when I was a trainee doing details in that office. I felt so bad for her.

San Diego is up there. The only gridlike part is downtown, and it’s full of one-way streets and difficult-to-find freeway ramps. The rest is utterly insane, and less resembles a grid than a head of mottled hair that hasn’t been washed in decades.

66

Here is one I see almost every day: When I’m driving on a 2 lane street or on the freeway and there is very little traffic, the car behind me will be on my ass, just a few feet away, sometimes for several blocks or miles. If I speed up, they will speed up as well. If I slow down, they slow down. If they are in a hurry, why won’t they just switch lanes and pass? Most of the time I am already going 10 mph over the speed limit, but even if I were going 10 mph under, they have every opportunity to go around. I know my ass can’t be that pretty.

67

Book doesn’t scan? That’s cool, I’ll just tap in the manual code… Sorry, what was that?
‘Is it free?’
Just. Fucking. Die. You scum, you humourless Vogon-poetry appreciating bastard. Every goddam day someone makes that joke to me. And they laugh! They LAUGH like they’ve just thought it up!

And do I slap them? NO. Do I roll my eyes? NO! Do I hiss, or cry, or scream? NO! I chuckle weakly BECAUSE I AM WEAK!

Fucking retail. I’d enjoy myself if it wasn’t for all the damn customers.

68

Please, oh please can someone make them stop showing those excruciatingly annoying Honey Bunches of Oats commercials where the woman in the hairnet screams, “Are YOU HUNGRY?!”

It wouldn’t be so bad if there were some sort of precursor, some warning that the shouting was on its way, so that I could hit the mute button in time, but nnnooooooo …

69

Hey, you! Yeah, you, with the dazed expression at the end of the checkout. I said to you nicely, with a smile, “I’d prefer paper bags please.” So why are you putting the groceries in plastic?

“Could I have paper bags, please?” No, not paper IN plastic. Just paper. One bag. Not double bagged. If it is too heavy for one paper bag it’s too heavy to carry. One paper bag. And while you’re at it, let’s NOT use a new bag for each. friggin’. item. And please, don’t put ALL the cans in one bag. Put a few in the bottom of each bag, and then place a lighter item on top. No, you don’t need to put bread in a plastic bag and then put it in the paper bag. That makes no sense. The bread is already in a plastic bag.

Why, yes, I do seem to have a touch of OCD. Why do you ask?

And yes, this is probably one of the lamest complaints. Here I am with pounds and pounds of food, undoubtedly more than I really need, and I still have the money to pay for it. And I’m bitching about the bags. What a dolt.

70

Ah, just got home from work, and the drunks and rowdies gave me stuff to whinge about so:

See this wine list? RED on one side, WHITE on the other. Clearly marked: one side has REDS by the glass, reserve RED bottles, and so on. The other side? You guessed it: WHITES by the glass, etc. If you order a bottle, make sure you’re picking from the right side of the page. No, hon, pinot blanc is not a red wine. Here, a little tip for next time: one of our two official languages is french, and since we went to high school together, I know you sat through french class, as did I. The word ‘blanc’? Does that mean ‘red’? No, no it doesn’t. BLANC = WHITE. Idiot.

And you, blonde-whose-hair-looks-like-a-dead-rat-on-her-head, “rye and ginger” and “vodka and 7up” don’t sound even remotely similar, and I’m the sober one here, so don’t try to fucking convince me I fucked up the order. Drink your shitty well rye and suck it up.

And “last call” doesn’t mean “I’ll take another drink order in five minutes”. It means I told you 10 minutes ago we were getting close to last call, then I told you when last call was, and now it’s too late, and I don’t care which kitchen guy you’re fucking, NO MORE DRINKS. Guttersnipe.

And you, snobby just-turned-twenty-year-old, fuck off with the attitude. Yes, I’m IDing you. No, I’m not gonna lose my job and let you and the twelve year old dude you’re with drink without IDing you. No, just because he does not have ID and you do doesn’t mean you can order a drink FOR him. Yes, I was perfectly within my right to remove the drink from your table and ask you to leave. Go drink your nasty-ass Smirnoff Ice under a bleacher somewhere. Bitch.

Oh man, that feels better. Now I’m going to bed.

71

Many fine points here, one and all! I also feel very strongly about inconsiderate drivers such as the ones who won’t pull up closer in a small section. I often look behind myself and see all the people who are stuck because of the asshole who doesn’t want his precious car within 10 feet of the one in front of him.

I also hate, hate, hate people that block the entire right lane without regard to anyone who might be otherwise able to make a legal right-on-red. Perhaps someone once pulled up beside and being an asshole zipped in front of them when the light changed. Perhaps a person thought they needed to make a right when they actually needed to go straight and cut them off. I don’t know. But, geez, to stop smack dab in the center of a right lane that clearly makes right-on-red turn legal, effectively keeping people from making their turn is just damn rude.

I also am quite angry today with people who give gifts without gift receipts. I know they got them, the register automatically spits them out from Mervyns here. Yet I’m on Mervyns shitlist because people buy gifts for my children that are either wrong in size or just not what they wear and I have to attempt to exchange them for an acceptable item with no receipt. They refuse returns from me now. When I give gifts I will always try to include a receipt of some sort. If an item is defective or wrong, I want my giftee to get the entire value of my gift toward something they might use. Without a receipt you get the cheapest price the item has sold at, and if I paid $20, I don’t want them ending up with $10 'cause it’s now on sale. I hate having to give away brand-new baby clothes simply because I’m unable to exchange them for something I need. I also pit gifters that put absolutely no thought into a gift, just grabbing something, buying and wrapping it, and again – no gift receipt. So I am then forced to keep (or regift) the hideous jewelry that is sooo not my taste and completely unlike anything you’ve ever seen me wear during the last 13 years in your family.

I know, I know, I’m an ingrate.

72

Washington, DC. We have all that AND these Og-forsaken traffic circles that still booger me up even after 15 years of living here. Deathtraps is what they are. And even if you survive, there’s a 99% probability you’ll get off on the wrong street.

73

As someone on the Dope so accurately put it, I just look at this as another example of “paid too little too care,” and I just re-bag the stuff myself. It seems pretty elementary to me that you don’t put bananas or bread in with a bag of cans, but I just pull them out of the bag before they’re ruined and pack them properly.

An excellent point. The way I look at it, here in North America we’re really not looking at “glass half full or glass half empty;” we’re mostly all looking at “glass full except for the last teaspoon.” But I still have my little bitches, too, 'cause I guess I’m not a saint yet. :wink:

74

I think I’ve figured this one out - it’s because they don’t know no better. Seriously, they have absolutely no idea they’re doing anything wrong, because they think driving five feet from your back bumper is proper procedure.

75

“No, sir. It’s priceless.” That always got them to shut up while I finished ringing up their books…

Now admittedly, I live in Japan, where credit card usage is relatively uncommon, but even when I lived in the states I would keep a running total/guesstimate of the total price in my head, and I’d have money out before the cashier finished. Or else I’d keep an eye on the running total on the cash register display. And then the “numbskull” would let the register automatically determine the change. Counting coins from a till doesn’t take that long, and newer registers have automatic change dispensers. Shoving bills into a wallet and coins into a pocket takes no more time than shoving a credit card into a wallet and a receipt into a pocket. You’re trying to give the impression that paying with cash takes a magnitude more time than paying with credit cards, and that’s just not true. (and as for that throwing change into the street thing…damn, what a waste. If you can’t be bothered to pocket some coins until you get home to throw them in a bucket or whatever, at least find some charity donation box or something. I understand that most places have such things by the registers for your convenience.)

I am SO with you on this one. Hell, sometimes I spend 20 minutes reading a lengthy thread, click back and all of the other threads are marked as read. Pisses me off. On more than one occasion, I’ve visited the front page and selected a forum, only to have it take 15-20 minutes to load, which of course meant that all of the threads were already marked as read. (Board glitches are another rant, of course.)

I know for a fact that the latest version of vBulletin can be set up to remember what you haven’t read for at least a week. The “check new posts” list will mark them with a label saying that, “Although there haven’t been new posts since your last visit, there are still unread posts in this thread.” I don’t see why the powers that be don’t update.

cite: I’m an admin on a board that uses vBull 3.5.3

76

From past experience, I campaign that the announcement in the cinema/ theatre that states:

“No mobile phones allowed. Please turn off you mobile phone”

should be ammended, thusly:

“No mobile phones allowed. Please turn off you mobile phone If you are too dumb to know how to turn your phone off, please seek assistance. If you are expecting a call, please wait for it outside. When we say off, we mean off. No, we dont mean silent. No, we dont mean vibrate. We mean off, FUCKSTICK!!!”

77

What’s wrong with having your phone at silent in a theatre?

78

You might answer it.

79

Old Navy. Why? Because I had about $100 in gift certificates to spend there, I needed some early maternity clothes (no sense in buying a size up when I’m just going to need them full-on in another 6-7 weeks anyway), and I couldn’t find ONE GODDAMN PAIR OF MATERNITY JEANS on their website that came in a freakin’ SHORT LENGTH IN MY SIZE. Oh, yeah, they SAY they have them, but you try to buy that size and amazingly, they’re always out! And the Old Navy here in town doesn’t have a maternity section. So I still don’t have any jeans that fit other than the ones I’ve got hooked with a rubber band because otherwise, they cut into my stomach.

(Yeah, I know, it’s a petty vent, but it really pissed me off - I desperately need a new pair of jeans and I’ve always liked the way Old Navy jeans fit).

80

I’ve been saying ‘not today! Ahahakillmehaha’, but I like that one better. Cheers RobuSensei