Minor rants, not Pit-worthy

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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  1. To the ladies in my office from Staten Island: It’s asked, not axed. My 3 year-old says it properly; you’re an adult and you don’t. What’s the problem?

  2. To my coworkers in general: Look- I have allergies. I sneeze. All my life, I have sneezed in multiples, usually in threes. Sometimes four or five times in a row, but usually just three times. One “God bless you” from one person is quite sufficient, thank you. I understand you’re just being polite, but honestly- I won’t be offended if not everyone within earshot blesses me after every single sneeze. After the first person says it the first time, it’s really not necessary any longer. Frankly, it’s not necessary the first time either, but I understand it’s common courtesy. As a consequence, I spend my day thanking everyone for every freakin’ “God bless you”, lest they be offended that I left one of them out. Enough is enough, people.

  3. To my loser friends: I invited you to the beach for the Labor Day weekend over two weeks ago. I invited you because I thought it would be fun to get a group of people together. You all told me “thanks! I’ll let you know” Maybe I was assuming too much, but here we are, the day before the weekend begins, and you still haven’t given me an answer yet. If you want to come, tell me so and commit. If you don’t want to come, that’s fine, no problem. Just let me know, OK? Because if you tell me at the last minute that you’re not coming, it’s a little late to ask someone else in your place. Now that I’ve chased you down for your answer and you told me “oh yeah, we’ll definitely be there”, I know you’re coming, but c’mon, act like an adult. If someone invites you somewhere, don’t make them wait over two weeks for an answer and then chase you for it, OK? It’s just rude.

  4. Once more, with feeling: asked. Not axed. Asked.

Thanks- just had to get that out. Feel free to add your own.

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To the sweaty, smelly guy at the gym:

Dude, lay off the garlic. Seriously. If it’s coming out in your sweat the next morning, you’re probably using a little too much.

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Dear Tracy, with whom I communicate by email on a regular basis:
Just because a word has an “S” on the end doesn’t necessarily mean it always gets an apostrophe. You’re an adult; you should know this - I think we covered it in third grade.
Another thing: “your” and “you’re” are two different words. Really. One means ‘your’ and the other means ‘you are.’
Also, there’s this great new thing called SpellCheck. Look into it.
That is all.