Minor rudeness that makes you want to go postal -- post 'em here!

The BBQ Pit
1

I’ll go first.

This has happened more than once, but it happened again at lunch so . . .

I’m in the elevator going up, the door opened on another floor to admit a woman who was carrying on a conversation with another woman on that floor but who was not getting on the elevator. So the woman stepped in front of the elevator doors to keep them open and then continued/finished up her conversation with the other woman before getting on the elevator. While the rest of us already on the elevator cooled our heels.

So I stabbed her to death with my pen. I’m fairly confident no jury will convict me.

2

Good work, Jodi.

On the Metro–People who poke me with their magazines annoy me. If it’s that crowded, put down the reading material and share some personal space.

3

Every day… and I mean every single fucking day for the last three weeks I have had some asshole in the street yell “hey, baby!” or “nice ass!” or “hey, beautiful, want to come home with me?” at me.

I am not a piece of meat! I am a human being! A human being damn it!!!

4

Do I have to pick just one?

Here in NYC we generally don’t queue for buses. Instead we have a gaggle of people waiting with a general “s/he was here before me” pecking order.

Anyway, there are these three middle-aged Russian ladies who, in the morning, regardless of the crowd size, will try to push their way to the front. Nevermind the bus is empty (because a full one just passed and didn’t stop). Nevermind you are standing right where the bus stops and the door opens. Nevermind that they got there 30 seconds ago and you’ve been waiting 20 minutes (another rant).

Being the prick that I am, I’ve blocked and gently shoved back when these ladies try to get in front of me. They don’t like me, but they no longer try to cut me off.

Lastly, I’ve made enemies in your situation, Jodi. I’m fairly old school, and rarely swear. Yet when that happened to me, I, in what I thought was a polite, non-offensive tone, asked the offender to please let us go (yes, I used please). When the daggers shot from both their eyes, I unloaded with very ungentlemanly language. Hope I never interview with either of them (or pitch work to them).

5

On the highway, in fairly heavy traffic, I generously waved a driver in front of me. Did he wave? Acknowledge me in any way?

Of course not.

I activated my hood-mounted Destruct-O-Blast death rays and turned him and his car into a fine spray of grayish dust.

6

Car wedger enabler wimps. Car wedgers are bad enough…those knuckle dragging simps who think that they are better than other drivers…and zoom ahead along shoulders when other cars are merging to one lane.

But the pansies who allow those assholes to wedge in should be shot. Here’s the deal ya frickin moron…if nobody ever let wedgers in…they would have to sit in traffic…while other smiling motorists passed them by.

7

I hate people that walk down the sidewalk at a snails pace, but are oblivious that other people are trying to walk around them. “HEY YOU TREE SLOTH FELTCHING ASSHOLE, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!!!”

Dont get me started when its raining and these same assholes have umbrellas at eye level.

Btw Cercaria, Nice ASS!!! :smiley:

[sub]Somebody had to say it[/sub]

8

This is the root of all evil. It simply stuns me that some people are either unaware of the fact they should wave or are simply unwilling to do so. I’ve gotten to the point that I can fairly accurately predict who will and will not wave to me if I let them in.

And I have a slightly different elevator story. I was on the elevator, the doors open and a guy walks to the elevator while talking on a cell phone (this isn’t a cell phone rant, since I don’t hate them like a number of Dopers do). He absent-mindedly stops in the door so it won’t close and continues his conversation. He hung up a few seconds later and turned to me and apologized. I hadn’t given him a nasty look or anything. Once he apologized I had no beef with the guy. All it takes is a little courtesy in my world. Apologizing for a slight faux pas is good, and failing to wave when let in traffic is bad.

9

Credit union, busy Friday. They’ve got 4 drive thru lanes for tellers, 2 for ATM’s. THey’ve got 2 waiting lanes (one for tellers, one for ATM’s).

I’m the first of 6 cars in line waiting for a spot to open at one of the teller windows, when on my left around me drives the Queen of All Bitches, and pulls in behind one of the 4 drive thru lanes.

Now, if the Karma Gods had been on their jobs (tapping foot impatiently), she’d have found herself behind the visually challenged, non English speaking centurian with a pillow case of Canadian pennies.

But noooooooo. She gets in and completes her fucking transaction before I even get to the window.

and the "shoot out a stream of poisoned thumbtacks’ dispenser wasn’t working on my car.

10

There’s a fellow who waits for the morning train with me every day. He hocks and spits at least once every two minutes (you can see a shudder of nausea go through everyone else there) and he always leaves his empty coffee cup there on the ground, despite the fact that there’s a trash can TWENTY FEET AWAY.

So this morning I tied him to the railroad tracks.

11

Oh yes, and:

WALK ON THE LEFT, STAND ON THE RIGHT, YOU LACKWITS!

12

Elevators, unfortunately, are an excellent source of evil. This one really gets me.

I’m going from the 14th floor to the 1st floor making good time. Then the lift (wow, only 4 letters, why don’t Americans use it?) stops on the 5th floor, the last floor of apartments. Person gets ona dn pressed the freaking 4th floor button! Why you lazy son-of-a-bitch! The stairs are right there! If the 2 minutes you spent waiting for the lift worth saving you the 15 seconds it would take you to walk the 12 stairs to the 4th floor? Huh?

And it happens all the time. Everywhere I go. The dentist, the doctor, school. It abolutely boggles my mind. I wish I could hire a rude person to walk around with me to insult these people when they do that. Or maybe I should carry around a supply of ‘kick me’ or ‘jerk’ signs to slip on theirs backs when they face front. It would be so easy too.
Either way there’s a special place in hell where they’ll spend the rest of their lives climbing stairs and even if I get to go to heaven I’ll still visit to laugh at them, laugh and throw rotten fruit at them. MUWAHAHAHAHA!!!

13

Funny, we New Yorkers already account for half of this thread. We have to put up with a truly spellbinding number of minor indignities daily.

Here is my indignation du jour.

I live way up in northern Manhattan. Where you can stand on the banks of the Hudson and spit into the Harlem River. So it’s a fairly long subway ride to my office in midtown. But I nearly always get a seat, since I live just about at the end of the A train.

So here I was, sitting on the subway, listening to my tunes, and trying to take a nap. I was sitting on the end seat right next to the door. Great Hulking Peasant, or GHP for short, was standing right next to me, holding on to the pole that supported my seat. His hand was only about six inches from my head and he was standing right up against the edge of the bench.

So what irritated me so much? Every time the subway would slow down, stop, lurch, turn, or make any movement at all, his fucking elbow beaned me in the head.

“Pardon me, can you watch your arm?”

Repeat after he does it again.

Repeat after he does it yet again.

After he did it the fourth time, I cracked his elbow right back with my cranium. He pulled his arm back, shook it, and replaced his hand right on the pole and continued to smacking my skull around with his elbow. I tried leaning forward. I tried sinking lower in my seat. Yet I could not escape GHP’s fucking ulna. And the train was far too crowded for me just to get up.

I gave him a look that would freeze alcohol when I left the train.

And Cercaria, how you doin’?

:slight_smile:

MR

14

“I wish I could hire a rude person to walk around with me to insult these people when they do that.”

—Ummmm, so how much would that position pay? Any medical benefits?

15

I hate people who can’t resist spoiling movies. Drives me insane. Had a guy completely ruin The Sixth Sense before I had a chance to see it. Here’s how it went…

I’m sitting in my cube minding my own business. Girl behind me says out loud, “Hey, has anyone seen Sixth Sense yet?”, to which I reply, “Actually no, I haven’t.” The guy across from me, having heard what I just said, shouts out, “Hey, that movie was great! Didja know he was dead the whole time?” I’m completely dumbfounded. “Hey stupid,” I snarl, “don’t you think you probably just ruined the movie for me?” He thinks about it a bit. “Well, a-hyuk hyuk, I guess I did! Sorry. A-hyuk hyuk!” I made it a point after that to see every new movie before he did - just so I could tell him the ending.

16

I have a lot of minor pent-up anger.

I was walking up the sidewalk to work, following a co-worker. In order to get in, we have to wave a passkey in front of the sensor. I’m carrying a huge double armload of stuff up to my office. Co-worker looks back at me, waves himself tyhrough, and lets the door click shut again, stranding me outside.

I dropped everything and whipped out my micro-UZI, spraying him with a hail of hot, hot lead through the door and throwing his bloody, shredded body against the opposite wall.

17

Note to self: Women do not like that. :smiley:

:d&r:

18

Please edit in your minds the errors in my previous post. Man-with-jackhammer woke me up way to early this morning.

Right now, just with good intentions. But I imagine it would pay pretty well once I win the lottery. It is just so satisfying having one of those people around. I had one a few years back in one of my classes. We had two yahoos who would talk and giggle during class, try and cheat on the tests (they failed anyway). The teacher was a wimp about it but not this woman. She would yell at them in class, bitch them out, it was great. They get their just desserts and I don’t have to deal with their hostility.

19

I was cruising around on my bike, minding my business, smiling at pedestrians, giving cars the right-of-way and generally not annoying anyone. I stop at an intersection, waiting for a safe moment to cross the street. I hear a ‘hey’. Thinking that maybe a friend of mine saw me, I turn my head in that direction, expecting a friendly wave.

I get an upraised middle finger attached to someone hidden in the back seat of a car. I sigh in annoyance and pedal on, not giving them the satisfaction of a reaction. People are so rude.

20

You must really have to be somewhere in a hurry. It seems to me that most people’s aggravation in a lot of these situations seems to stem from the thinking that they are in a hurry when they really aren’t. I just go with the flow, baby, go with the flow.