But they aren’t “trolls.” They’re posters, and in some cases longtime ones, expressing opinions you and others (including me) don’t agree with. Calling them trolls is a lazy shortcut to getting them modded the way you’d like.
Judging from this thread, this board would have more (and possibly more thoughtful) longtime posters if they hadn’t been chased out by the stubbornly sexist contingent.
This is an excellent example, thank you for sharing it.
It is exactly the type of thing being brought up here. Literally “Well what did you expect when you posted about your body? Next time don’t say boobs and you won’t get harassed!”
It’s gross and annoying.
I agree some men in the original thread were unfairly attacked and that their words have been twisted. I believe I said as much. On the other hand, some were espousing repugnant attitudes and deserved all the heat they got.
Should it be forbidden? I’m not so convinced. Just like with the racism threads, it’s arguable that it’s better to hash it all out in five Pit threads than to avoid its existence altogether. I feel like some very productive conversation has come out of this fiasco. That said, I do wish there was lower tolerance for it. If it was social suicide to behave that way, it would stop happening at such a frequent rate. I’m less annoyed with the mods and more annoyed with how few men actually come out of the woodwork to shut that shit down. These fools aren’t going to listen to what women say to them, because they don’t respect us. They will listen to you.
Just to be clear, I’ve been referring to the recent MOL-inspired threads, and not the “pics of ur boobz” ones, which were indeed full of predictable stupid.
You think that’s a good example? Nah. I am sure there are plenty of great examples, but that wasn’t one. I’m pretty sure that OP was trolling.
Are you being serious right now? You’re doing the exact same thing the guys in that thread were doing. “Well, it’s not a big deal that we’re harassing her because she was asking for it by posting about her boobs”. Come on. You’re smarter than that, right? Or are you just playing your normal “Oh gosh I just can’t take sides and everybody here has some really amazing points!” thing.
I think she was trolling. That’s why it’s not the best example of what you were looking for. There are many great examples of what you are looking for. So the best example isn’t one where I peeped the OP for a troll.
Rather she is a troll or not, you are correct that men shouldn’t harass posters for boob pics on this board.
In these discussions, when I see female feminist posters whom I respect grouping together to straighten out an issue, I fall back and let them do their thing, because they usually can handle these topics with more finesse than I can. I offer support, but usually play the back ground. However! I won’t stifle myself if I see points that I disagree with on either side. My messageboard experience isn’t about winning sides, it is about partaking in interesting conversation, and if I see something I disagree with, I am likely to post that.
In this case, I have several reason to think that the linked thread was some very nicely done subtle trolling. So I don’t think it is the best example of the kind of thread you were referring to. But I still agree with your overall points.
ETA: I just noticed this part of your post, but if you feel you don’t like my posting style, at least keep it real about what you dislike about it. Pretending that I’m an “Oh, Gosh” kind of poster is just silly.
Hey, here’s a previous thread where passive-aggressive sexism was indeed proposed to be against the board’s policy. (can I go back in time and agree with that?)
I have no idea about her posting history but she doesn’t act all that trollish in this argument thread (not any more so than many regular posters); she just comes across to me like an earnest college student type. And if she was a troll, why wasn’t she banned?
I’m not even going to ask you what part of the OP had you thinking it was trolling, because it honestly doesn’t matter. If you were wrong about the trolling, it wouldn’t matter, and if you were right, it wouldn’t matter either. Because the responses in that thread were not a result of people systematically determining “troll OP, we can fuck with her now” and every bit as predictable and juvenile as any other thread where parts of a female body are alluded to or outright mentioned. Jain herself, while trying to pretend there is not a culture of misogyny, says that she knows better than to post stuff like that, presumably because the responses are juvenile and predictable, because there is a culture of that bullshit here.
The most insulting part of that thread is the faux-intellectual circle jerk of morons who try and logically defend why they were ok in making such ridiculous and unnecessary comments. They twist to find a way to chastise the OP for mentioning her boobs, “well, strictly speaking, you could have said X instead, but rather you chose to say the word “boobs” which indicates that’s all you REALLY wanted to talk about so instead WE are insulted at your offense in the matter”.
So your accusation of trollery on the part of the OP actually doesn’t contribute anything because they were not harassing her based on the assumption she was trolling, they were harassing her because that’s what always happens. And by accusing her of trolling, you’re just perpetuating the mentality of “she was asking for it and now she’s upset at the response she got which was clearly the response she intended to get”.
I just thought you would prefer to make your point (a valid point) with a thread that wasn’t actually trolling for the response that she got. There are tons of threads that make your point for you, I have seen them.
I think sometimes, in threads on these topics, it is better for only posters who want to take a hard line on one side of the other without any side points muddying the water to post. I tend to 1. always take a hard line, because I’m no coward. And 2. always try to limit most of my posts to the little side points that I actually disagree with. I think this style of posting is annoying to a lot of posters, so I am willing to bow out of threads regarding rape or sexual harassment or anything else that is highly sensitive with regard to women’s rights, other than to offer my main opinion on the matter.
In other words, I am not trying to post to muddy the waters or be annoying to my fellow posters. I honestly just try to post with honesty and to save my contributions for the smaller details that I disagree with, after making my main position known. Often, I feel misunderstood, because the point I’m making doesn’t seem to be recognized by some of the feminists on the board as in support for them, when it is. Like the ‘no, no, yes’ game that I admitted to playing. I admitted that because I wanted to be clear that even if that game exists, that doesn’t excuse men of taking responsibility for their own actions…they should walk away after hearing no, if they are as worried as they claim they are about mixed signals…it is their duty to take responsibility for their own actions. I think maybe some posters thought that I was going against the feminists by saying this, but I wasn’t. I think my side points don’t come across as clearly as I think, even though I try to speak very plainly.
Again, if this is annoying, I can chill out with it on highly sensitive topics like this. I’m not trying to be annoying, I’m just trying to enjoy adding on to threads on this board on topics that interest me.
ETA: because, MOL’s OP was something that I completely agreed with her on, and enjoyed her style of telling. If my posts on side issues made her think I wasn’t supporting her overall, then that’s my fault. I totally did support her in that thread.
First off, I want to say good luck to you guys. I’ve tried this sort of thing before, and it never works. So I’m not going to try here and mess it up. But I do have to address one comment in this thread.
Because, contrary to apparent popular belief, rape is not the crime of convincing someone who said “no” to say “yes.” You even trotted out the definition of rape, but neglected the very real possibility that voluntary disagreement changed to voluntary agreement. Merely having said “no” at some point is not sufficient. You must have also never changed that “no” to a “yes.”
Yes, there are certain coercion tactics that are legally forbidden, like threatening violence or (in many jurisdictions) offering money. But many other coercion techniques, no matter how morally reprehensible, are not criminal, any more than a good salesman who gets you to buy an item you initially didn’t want is a crime. I haven’t read the thread in question, but I assume that the techniques espoused by the subjects of this thread did not fall into the illegal category, even if they make non-misogynists like us want to vomit.
Well, if a man posted about how he’d just found out he had prostrate cancer, I’d certainly hope that he wouldn’t have a number of posters, regardless of gender, start posting about how it’s too bad that he’ll no longer be able to experience the joys of anal sex anymore or similar comments.
I’m also reasonably certain that if a woman started posting about how it’s too bad he’ll never be able to experience the joy of having a dildo shoved up his rectum people would find such a comment obnoxious rather than funny.
As God as my witness I never thought I’d live to see the day BigT condones rape.
Hey, let me tell you about the time my “no” turned into a “yes” ok? I was young and on a first date. We went for a hike and found an old shed/cabin sort of thing. We went inside to check it out and he started coming on to me and trying to feel me up. I said “no” very clearly, many times, while trying to fend off his hands and still trying to be polite (why, I don’t know).
He got a little bit more aggressive and I figured that if I didn’t give in, I might get beat up. So I “changed my mind” and said “ok”. I didn’t fight him off and we had sex right there.
He will no doubt be one of the guys who say “no doesn’t always mean no” while I was left to wonder if I’d just been raped.
You read his post?
He didn’t.
Saying yes because you were afraid you would get beaten up or killed is rape according the laws of every state in the country.
But if you ask BigT, it’s not rape if you changed your mind.
you got raped. 
people would call it “date rape” as if being on a date makes it less rape (or a less serious kind of rape) but giving in from fear of being beaten up IS rape.
and saying you should have resisted despite this fear (regardless if this was a date or he lept out of a dark alley) is blaming the victim.
I’m sorry this happened to you, Floaty.