Give a snippet of a review that misses the point of a book, movie or play.
“I really can’t give a fair review of this show, because the actress playing Mrs. Malaprop blew so many of her lines, I found it a complete distraction from the story.”
“Tess of the D’Urbervilles is a real downer. I don’t know how Hardy thinks he can hold an audience.”
“Unfortunately, the last page of my copy of ‘The Lady or the Tiger’ was missing.”
The Divine Comedy isn’t very funny.
I was eagerly awaiting the arrival of Godot. Did Mr. Beckett die before writing the last act?
I can’t disagree with the moral of the story, but did we really need two full hours on that weirdly specific cautionary tale? I mean, okay, fine: if you’re ever at a point in your life where you’re gunning down a couple of innocents in some godforsaken alley, make sure to murder the kid who helplessly watched you do it, or else he may grow up to kill you right back while dressed up as a bat; I thought that was understood.
The movie made it clear to me that Gandhi had a diaper fetish and an eating disorder.
How can they call it The Avengers without John Steed and Emma Peel?
1984 gets the history completely wrong.
And of course the all-purpose example of this, which is applied to everything: “That trivial part of the movie/book/show is not realistic, so the entire work fails.”
Charlotte’s Web is a cautionary tale that demonstrates how insufficient pest control can result in reduced farm output.
1984 tells the heartwarming story of a disgruntled citizen’s path to patriotism and enlightenment.
A Christmas Carol illustrates how temporary dementia can transform a staunch capitalist into a simpering idiot.
Rashomon fails as a murder mystery due to numerous continuity errors.
The Phantom of the Opera shows girls are totally into looks and social standing, and will take a wealthy, titled man over a disfigured talented one.
CATS is a blatant rip off of the MEOW Mix commercial, suggesting that cats can dance and sing.
Newsies, the musical: A cautionary tragedy about a benevolent job creator who tries to help his beloved employees learn economics and self-sufficiency with a tiny increase in the cost of their supplies. His efforts are thwarted by an ungrateful mob of churlish youths who insist on socialistic handouts to keep the ignorant status quo.The worst part? This benevolent leader of men is forced to -gasp shudder - compromise with this ingrates by settling on a smaller increase in the price of newspapers. Oh, the horror!
The Martian is the story of one man’s fascination with human excrement.
Shubert’s Unfinished Symphony. Oh, good, unfinished. This shouldn’t take long.
Naked Lunch. I can think of at least two things wrong with that title. 
John Hurt looks nothing like an elephant, man, especially with the mask on. Let Michael Jackson have the skeleton.
False advertising–Richard Dreyfus was okay, and the music wasn’t bad, but there wasn’t one damn penguin in the whole movie.
“Why don’t they call it Planet Trek? You never go to a star. Not one episode.”
And really, when it was made, none of the principal actors could really be called “stars” – just a few guest shots on Twilight Zone episodes and the like.
“I come to you to speak of a testament to the Will to Power, the crazed prophet who brought the fire of the gods to the oppressed, and, with his very being, transformed reality into a wonderland of his own making! I speak of the lowly brought high, and the high proven fools in their own domain! I speak of the very tome of the Übermensch! I speak of The Cat in the Hat!”
“Well, that was an odd game show. The contestants were entertaining enough, but there wasn’t a score board and they couldn’t even keep track of whose line it was.”