Does this ever happen to anyone else? I admit it has happened to me in the past, to a lesser degree… but never quite like this! I should make clear before I start that I’m female and a lesbian…
Today I set out on an excursion to research sunglasses. My trusty sunglasses, which are about 6 years old, can no longer be repaired because the company has stopped making the style and they don’t have any more spare parts.
This upset me a little and I had to live without sunglasses for a few weeks to allow me to grieve, but today i set out to research (NOT buy) options for a new pair.
I took myself to the local shopping centre, full of good intentions.
I was wandering the concourses, searching the shops, when I made my first fatal mistake. I decided it wouldn’t hurt to walk into Jeans West and check out the new summer stock. Now, I would like to say, in my defence, that I don’t go shopping very often (with good reason, as you’ll soon see). Anyway, I am examining a rather nice shirt, when the very spunky shop assistant sashays up to me and says “Would you like to try that on, Sir?” Now I had no intention of trying it on… but being called “Sir” really does things for me. I got all flustered and said “Yes please” when what I really meant was “No thanks, I’m just browsing” Soon I found myself in the MENS changerooms, trying on not only the shirt, but a rather nice pair of jeans the cute shop assistant picked out for me to try with them. The whole time, she’s flirting with me outrageously! What could I do but love them, try them and buy them? The shop assistant gave me her number- I was really flattered but I’m not quite sure how it would go, seeing as she seems to think I’m a man (honestly, i wasn’t having that butch a day…)
Anyway, one shirt and pair of jeans i probably didn’t need later, I escaped from Jeans West, vowing to be on my best behaviour.
I was really good for the rest of the trip, and I thought it would probably be safe to duck into the supermarket to pick up a few necessary bits and pieces. Now, Murphy’s Law states that if you’re standing in the 6 items or less queue at the checkout with tampons, condoms, lube, tinea cream and a box of tim-tams, the person standing in front of you will be your PE teacher from high school, and the person standing behind you will be your best friend’s mother (who is a fundamentalist christian). The whole time you are in the queue they will be trying to converse with you while goggling at the contents of your basket, which you wish you could hide from view, and you will be dying of shame while they relegate you with their banal stories.
I wasn’t quite game to keep looking for sunglasses after that experience- I decided I’d best head off home… but seeing as my research is not complete, I may have to head back tomorrow… sans wallet!!
Does anyone else ever have shopping experiences like this?
I’ve never been mistaken for a man (a 12-year old boy, maybe) but I’m constantly getting into those “Pat” situations, where I honestly can’t identify the gender of the person I’m looking at. I never know how to handle it. An elderly friend of ours works on our cars, and I called one day to set up an appointment, and his wife answered. I couldn’t tell it was her and called her “Pete”. She had a shit-fit and I was so embarrassed, I just told her I had a lot of static on the line. I never know what to do in these situations.
I’ve never been mistaken for a man (a 12-year old boy, maybe) but I’m constantly getting into those “Pat” situations, where I honestly can’t identify the gender of the person I’m looking at. I never know how to handle it. An elderly friend of ours works on our cars, and I called one day to set up an appointment, and his wife answered. I couldn’t tell it was her and called her “Pete”. She had a shit-fit and I was so embarrassed, I just told her I had a lot of static on the line. I never know what to do in these situations.
did I hear an echo?
I know, I know. . .bad joke. I’ll just sit here in the corner and cry , and I’ll think about what I did.
In college I had a pretty short haircut – but I wore dangly earrings, carried a purse, dressed girly, etc. Still had gender confusion. An elderly man at the DMV said, “I can help you over here, sir.” One night I was standing on the porch of a house at a party talking to my friend who has long blonde hair, and a guy shouted from a passing car, “Fuck her, I did!”
The weirdest one was a double whammy. Mr. S and I were walking across a Kmart parking lot, headed for our car. He had his usual full beard and (at the time) long Jesus hair. I still had my butch cut, but was wearing the dangly earrings and carrying a big ol’ purse. I should add that Mr. S is about 12 years older than I am (although he probably didn’t look it at the time), we are about the same height (5’6" and 5’7"), and we were holding hands.
Suddenly we realized that an older man was walking along behind us, about the time that the man said cheerily, “Must be a mother and son!” 
(Why would you say something like that to/about strangers anyway?) We turned to look at him, and once he saw our faces, he got a really sheepish look on his face, and sort of sidled off.
We’re still trying to figure out which one of us he thought was which.
Loved the Echo joke!!!
Happens to me all the time. I should note that I’m a lesbian as well. Short hair, mainly mens clothing and the wallet. I don’t wear earrings either. Since my chest isn’t all that big, the only thing that gives me away is my voice. As soon as I say something, it’s a dead giveaway.
I’ve gotten used to it. It’s gotten to the point I’m kinda disappointed if they figure out I’m a woman right off.
Umm, phraser, did the salesperson say things that make you sure she thought you were a guy? From what you said, she might have realized you were female, and she was flirting with you anyway… Give her a call, and say,
“Hi, this is me, from the mall; you gave me your number. My name is (hopefully, it’s not Pat, or Chris, but rather something unmistakeably girl-like). Would you like to meet for drinks some time?”
<hijack> I can’t keep this to myself anymore. I have a kitty and his name is Echo. That is all. </hijack>
And to contribute - once in high school I had my hair slicked back into a pony tail, and a boy on a parked schoolbus about 500m away yelled out the window, “Are you a girl or a guy?”. That was the only time I’ve been questioned on my gender.
I’m not a lesbian, but I have short hair. I’m petite and not masculine looking (in my opinion). One day I went to Mass wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. We had a visiting priest that day, and I must’ve impressed him with my piety, because after Mass he came up to me and asked if I’d ever considered becoming a priest! :eek: I told him I didn’t feel I had a vocation, which is a good thing since my gender precluded it. I don’t know which of us was more embarrassed.
StG
From the other side of things, so to speak, I’ve been mistaken for a woman (mainly because I look decently androgynous when I’m wearing baggy clothing and I have fairly long hair). By my own mother, even. It’s been a few months, but the children of some dopers couldn’t figure out if I was a boy or a girl when I met them in June.
I’m just trying to figure out what phraser is going to do with those condoms she had in her basket at the supermarket queue.
Happy
I’m a male lesbian so can I also ask “why the condoms?” If you don’t want to share that’s fine but you did make me curious. Admittedly, I’m horribly naive at such matters.
I’ll double the sentiment that the clerk may have been aware of your gender,if you found her attractive you should give her a call.
This thread is getting stranger and stranger.
A couple of “safer-sex” reasons I can think off the top of my head (gee, occasionally reading Joise Vogels’ My Messy Bedroom column is coming in handy!):
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Condoms are still recommended with “toys.” In the heat of passion, if you don’t take the time to stop, go do some thorough soap and water washing of the aforementioned “toy,” you can pass along a yeast infection or worse
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A lot of people modify condoms to make “dental dams”
So condoms are not just for the boys.
At one time, my boyfriend (now husband) had very long hair, and I had either very close cut or a shaved head. He’d have kids asking him “Are you a boy or girl?” and I’d get people at stores asking “Can I help you, sir?”
I was never offended. I always thought it was odd, though, since even though I don’t dress that girly (usually baggy shorts, tank top, sneakers, chain wallet), I still have noticable breasts.
I’ve been mistaken for a man, but not for how I look, but because of my name. I get letters all the time addressed to Mr. Bailie (Lastname) and one time at the doctor’s office, the same doctor’s office I’d been going to for years and they know me quite well there too, they called me up to the desk as Mr. Bailie (Lastname).
Even when I had super short hair I was never mistaken for a guy. It’s just when someone hears my name they automatically assume I’m a dude.
This is even funnier if you hear it like I did, as the voice of Yoda.