I swear, to generate the stink that’s been filling my apartment for the last week, you must be chain-smoking them three at a time.
I just quit smoking, asshole. Even when I did smoke, I went outside to do it, because I didn’t want my house and my kids smelling like the shit. I’ve washed all my coats and jackets and was just starting to enjoy my newly-returned sense of smell, and then you come along. Fuckwit. I’ll spend my next two days off work cleaning house, dusting and vacuuming and whatnot, but it won’t make a goddamn bit of difference because the furniture, the carpets, my clothes, hell even the very walls will still fucking stink. For the past three days I’ve been dealing with a harsh dry cough and the kind of chest congestion and tightness I haven’t experienced since I swore off the demon Nicotine; gee, assmunch, I wonder why that is?
What pisses me off most is I can’t do a single goddamn thing about it except vent on an anonymous message board. Whether you’re paying rent to live down there or not I don’t know (the bottom floor of my house, a former church, is one big room that the landlord usually uses for storage, but he occasionally lets family members or friends or vagrant axe-murderers for all I know stay there), but obviously you’re there with the landlord’s permission, and obviously he doesn’t care that you’re filling the house with an unholy stench. He should care, I feel, since he’s got the house on the market and I don’t think most buyers are interested in buying a property that smells like a thousand cats have been cremated in the electric wok, but obviously he doesn’t. And he’s a fucking psycho anyway so I’m not going to even try to deal with him. So I’m stuck up here with your fumes turning my air into a gray haze, choking on the acridness even with all the windows open, and no recourse available to me. Fucker.
I pray to Og or Bob or whatever deity is currently running this whole freakshow that you leave soon. None of the others lasted more than a month; hopefully you’ll be the same way. And I hope as you’re driving away you drop your cigarette in your crotch and can’t find it right away.
Bob here. I suffer with you, even more so. Right after I renewed my lease one of my new neighbors smokes something I’ve never smelled before and I lived through the ‘60’s. Even tho’ it’s a new multi-unit apartment building, the stench comes through the walls and/or ceiling and I can smell it on my stuff much later. It wouldn’t be so bad but it gives me an allergy headache. I believe it’s related to the formaldehyde family but it might just be crack. And every week the local paper’s obituaries list a 21-to 35-year old who died of a “heart attack”. What a waste.
I don’t really have anything to add to the OP- I mean, what can you do?
Just wanted to say, Ignatz, thanks for quoting the OP in the first reply. You see, I have severe Attention Deficit Disorder, and I often forget what the OP said by the time I get to the first response. I don’t know what I’d do without posters like… ooh, shiny!
All right, don’t make me turn this thread around and go home.
I feel better today. I’ve spent the day scrubbing, sprinkling, vacuuming, and spraying, so my house smells lilac fresh at the moment. Of course, that will change as soon as Zippy Puffsalot gets home, but I’ll enjoy it for as long as I can.
Yeah, right—landlords don’t give a damn as long as they get their rent. Your only hope is if your lease contains a “safe and quiet living conditions” clause, which most of them do. Tell your landlord he’s in violation of this and you won’t pay the rent till yourt apartment is “safe” again.
Now Eve, not all are so callous. Hopefully Malitharn and his/hers have a more amicable relationship. Heck, maybe Malitharn could even say something to Mr. Puffsalot to let him know that smoke is migratory and that, for the sake of his kids, he was wondering if smoking outside might be an option.
Should neither of those approaches work, then it might be appropriate to get medieval on his lungs.
No, I’m not smoking dried turds. Takes too long to dry 'em out, and I need my fix now. Sorry about the smell, by the way - takes a bit of kerosene to get them lit is all.
Yep, landlord’s a psycho. He’s also been forbidden by my husband to speak to me, following an incident shortly after we moved in when my husband was away and landlord came up on our deck and threw a screaming, stomping, in-my-face fit because my son moved some rocks in the weed-choked flowerbed. My husband is very good at getting his point across; neither one of us has seen the landlord in 2 years. And we don’t have a lease or anything; due to circumstances beyond our control, we were about 5 days away from being on the street when we found this place, paid cash, and moved in.
I’ve been trying to convince my large and persuasive husband to go downstairs and speak with Coffin Nail Charlie, try to appeal to his better nature, or barring that break him in half like a dry Camel. If I go down there it will not end well, for I have no patience and am not a people person. My husband hates the smell as much as I do, but unfortunately I think he has a point when he says we can’t try to dictate what the guy does in his apartment. But then I think, what if it was a loud stereo? I can’t sleep with a loud stereo going any more than I can sleep while I’m hacking my lungs out. And then I think, but who could I call to complain? There’s a city ordinance against loud noise, but not against smoking in your own home. Then I think, maybe he’s only here for a couple of weeks like the other transient serial killers or whatever that have stayed down there, and then he’ll be gone and life will be joyful again. Then I get tired of talking to myself and go looking for chocolate, which tastes really awesome now that I’ve got my sense of taste back.
There hasn’t been any smoke all day. Maybe the Marlboro Man ran him down with his horse. Landlord’s a smoker, too, BTW. Here in Hooterville non-smokers are a rarity.
:eek: You keep messing with that shit, your eyebrows are never gonna grow back.
Sorry 'bout that. I’m so rarely the first to post a reply that I just followed my normal (?) pattern. You see, I usually print a hard copy of my replies and if I don’t append it to the OP I fergit what the OP was when I later (if ever) read my retort.
It will not happen again. Until the next time. But thnax for the 'structive criticism.
Well, what you might could try is quote only a pertinant sentence that your reply is related to. I almost always quote something from what I’m replying to - you never know what’s going to sneak in between - but I don’t think you need to quote an entire post when you’re only using a couple of sentences to reply. Just a thought.
I like it. It’s much more practical than “might be able to”, etc.
I have kin near Waldorf. PGC. Speaking of Navy, I went to Navy “A” school at Bainbridge NTC prior to being sent overseas. I saw Peter, Paul and Mary at the Balto Civic Center while at Bbridge. Rode thru Denver on the Zephyr. Nice country but too cold for me. I like my Mediterranean climate. /end hijack, unless…/
