The past tense of “hang”, when referring to the form of execution, is “hanged.”
My granpappy was hanged for horse rustlin’.
You say you’re attending your friend’s marriage this afternoon? That’s going to take a long, long time!
Oh, you mean you’re attending the wedding, which is the ceremony that marks the beginning of the marraige.
So, there I was riding on a steam-driven train, when I was persuaded to get into a get-rich quick scheme. I was totally enthused. He orientated me on the direction I needed to go. I was so eager to get rich that I was literally jumping out of my skin to get started. I axed the conductor where the nucular plant was in the city were heading to. He said that it was off-limits to the public. “Irregardless,” I said, “I want to know.” So he told me.
The snack cart came rolling by a short time later. I saw some delicious cake, but, being allergic to certain things, I asked the waitress what the cake was comprised of. She asked me what I was allergic to. I told her I couldn’t eat nuts. I was than informed that there were none; thusly I could eat the cake.
I overheard a woman discussing how she was so happy because she was getting money back from IRS. I told her that if she was getting a tax return than she wasn’t so lucky, because it just means she overpaid during the year. She looked at me acrosst the aisle and shot me a look that caused me to literally sink into the floor. She told me that if she was in my place, she would of kept quiet because she wasn’t being talked to and that I should of done the same.
The conductor came around to tell me that we would be arriving at the stop momentarily, but that presently I should get ready to get off the train.
When the steam-driven train stopped I walked towards the door. I got off the steam-driven train and saw the nucular plant in front of me. “OK,” I thought to myself, “this is doable.” Just then a woman came up to me and asked me if I knew where the stadium was. “Sorry,” I told her. “Alls I know is that I’m not from around here. For all intensive purposes, I’m a tourist here.”
I walked up to the plant. I was stopped by the guard who axed to see my driver license. I was ascared. I wasn’t authorized for entrance. I presumed I’d be able to just walk in. The guard inferred that I needed to have authorization to enter. I lied and told him that my brother worked at the plant. I said I can even produce a picture of him and I. No go, he said. That can supposably be anyone. Alls I needed to do, he said, was to have my brother call the guard station. Well, I couldn’t do that. There went my very unique way of getting rich. At least I didn’t get hung for tresspassing.
Zev Steinhardt
You’re married, EchoKitty?
Ah, who cares when you needs fucked?
Oh man, pardon my language.
Tibs.
Oh…my…god! I don’t think I could live in “Merlin”.
I’d never heard the missing “to be” until I met my girlfriend. Her family is from Michigan. It’s undoubtedly a regional thing. You’ll never hear someone from Texas say “The grass needs mowed”. It’s “the grass needs to be mowed” (or possibly “the grass needs mowin’”, but I digress.)
The misused words that get to me are the use of “predjudice” and “bias” as adjectives. They’re nouns! You can’t be predjudice! You can be prejudiced. You wouldn’t accuse someone of being racism, would you?
Minor Hijack - Merlin is nice! Here we “warsh ar close in the crick and hang 'em on the booshes to dry.”
and we always start our day with a “shar and a nice glass of arnch juice.”
We got crabs, hon.
How about affected vs. effected? I’m going to go nuts if I see another job description in the line of duty that explains how, say, a new polymer will effect the success of American industry…
Amazed that no one has picked on these:
you’re vs. your
its vs. it’s
their vs. there vs. they’re
Are we not teaching our children these things? The rampant misuse of ostensibly simple words drives me up a wall.
<rant> I dated a woman (for exactly 2 weeks) who could not get these things straight. We communicated via AIM during the day, and by quitting time I was ready to strangle her…that or hit her over the head with a copy of Webster’s (unabridged hardcover, of course). In the end, it was this total lack of grammar skills that did her in. </rant>
Mechanics in the south will tell you that you have a “blowed” head gasket. I even have an invoice that has it written down this way. (It was the ex-wife’s car, btw. I’ve never “blowed” a gasket.)
I have to second axe for “ask”. Also, adding an “S” to the end of words just drives me up the wall. I had a co-worker axe me once, “Oh, are those papers mines?” I couldn’t resist calling her on it.
“What did you say?”
“Um, I said are those, uh, mine”
“Oh, I could have sworn you said ‘mines’”
“…”
May I add one more?
The word is “impacted”
When someone says (something like) “our mission is to help children impacted by cancer” UG! Drives me up the wall! I’m picturing kids stuck between the teeth and jawbone.
Rats Eva, you beat me to the effect vs. affect problem. I see it incorrectly so often I’m beginning to question my English education!
I’ve got two others, both of which are pretty picky, but I hear them constantly, especially in the news.
First, no Mr. Putzalot, you mean “raises the question”, not, I repeat not “begs the question”. Begging the question is to commit a specific kind of logical fallacy, say, “Your command of the English language is crap because it sucks.” Raising the question is a completely different matter. For instance, “Your idiocy regarding idiomatic English raises the question of how on earth you got a journalism degree.”
Second, I really hate the way reporters who can’t come up with a catchy title fall back on “Whither <insert name of company/product/idea that has fallen by the wayside>” It should be “Whither goes whatever”, right? Does anyone know how this got started?
Eva, this sentence makes perfect sense:
“This new polymer will bring about (effect) the success of American industry.” – which seems to be an extremely ambitious, though gramatically correct, statement.
As opposed to…
“This new polymer will influence (affect) the success of American industry.”
I know, I’m nitpicking. But a better example of poor usage might be:
“All this pollen is really effecting my sinuses.”
Obviously, the pollen isn’t bringing about my sinuses. It is influencing (affecting) their condition.
During the year 1999, people using “millennium” incorrectly (saying that 2000 would be the start of the new millenium) drove me insane.
Also, it’s “often,” pronounced “offin.” Like “coffin” without the c.
I’m not an expect in law enforcement, but it seems to me they overuse the word ‘suspect’.
I hate it when the cop interviewed on the news says “The suspect shot the convenience store clerk, then was apprehended two blocks away.”
From this I conclude: A criminal shot the clerk. A suspect was arrested. They suspect that the arrestee is the criminal.
I like “flustrated”, it sounds almost Joycean: a portmanteau word meaning flustered and frustrated.
My pet hates:
infer vs imply
hopefully
uninterested vs disinterested
Oooh! My turn!
Penultimate. It means second-to-last, NOT “super ultimate” or utmost.
As in “November is the penultimate month of the year.”
NOT “Oh man, that was the penultimate roller coaster!”
Where in Michigan? I’m from the Detroit area and I’ve never heard anyone say “the grass needs mowed.” (I am very grateful for that.)
Misuse of literally came up pretty quickly, but it can’t be mentioned enough. 
The same goes for enthused. And ironic to describe something that’s merely a coincidence… :rolleyes:
My mom has been known to use clothes as a singular when referring to many items of clothing (usually a load of laundry). Drives me up the wall.
My dictionary has both…