Im at the gas station last Friday evening filling up the tank. I used the *pay at the pump* feature so I dont have to enter the store to complete the transaction.
Out of the gas station comes this man in his late twenties holding an opaque plastic container and a looseleaf piece of paper with some handwritten message on it. He catches my eye and walks straight over to me. He then lays out this plea for a donation because his child needs a kidney transplant. I can see through the container that he has several bills already in there (presumably from other donors). I never know what to do when I am aproached by beggars. I take it on a case by case basis. I almost always have spare change on me, so a buck is never a big deal for me to scrape up.
As soon as he is done asking for the money I immediately and without any hesitaion say “NO”. I was suprised at my own response. Usually I hem and haw and then give in. I think I said no because the guy was well dressed and didnt seem like he needed the money. I know that often times these people are con artists and can make some decent coin this way. But what if the guy really had a medical emergency and was desperate? What would I do if my kid needed a transplant and I didnt have insurance? Then I started thinking that I would start with friends and family, church, work, local charities etc. Begging would be the last thing on my list of ways to get money for this.
Right after I say “NO”, the guy gives this reaction like he just saw a ghost. He shrugs his shoulders back and sort of opens his eyes and jerks his head back at the same time. Kind of like I was the first person to turn him down. Or that he was shocked that anyone could be coldhearted enough to not give to his cause.
I still don`t know if he used the money for drugs, hookers, gambling, or a kidney trasnplant. Had I known for sure that his child was in trouble I would have donated, but it would have had to be something more official than a handwritten piece of paper and a plastic bucket. I did not read the note. This did not play a role in my answer but I can almost say for certain that the gentleman was not begging in the same neighborhood that he lived in.
I dont really have a flame here, except for- * stupid beggars make me feel guilty when I dont give.* What the whuck should I have done? What would you have done?
I would’ve told him to whuck off. People like this irritate the bejeezus out of me.
I put this guy in the same category as the people who beg me for money for a bus/train ticket… yet if I give them a bus/train ticket for where they claim they’re going, they throw it back at me. To hell with them!
If this guy legitimately needs money for a kidney transplant (or whatever), there’s nothing stopping him from ringing the local TV station’s “local” show - they’re always featuring some sob story or other on their shows and can set up bank accounts etc for donations.
There are easier/more efficient methods of obtaining money for his cause, pretending for a moment that he’s actually telling the truth. Why should I reinforce his behaviour by giving him money?
I gave money to someone like this once. And only once. She gave me a story about how she needed a couple of bucks to buy a bus ticket back to Milwaukee. We were a couple of blocks from the bus station and I was feeling unaccountably generous so I gave her the bucks. Then I kept seeing her around town. A friend of mine worked at a bank and he told me that she had an account there with hundreds of dollars in it. From then on if she ever approached me my response was an immediate no! before she could get past “excuse me, sir” and if saw her putting the touch on someone else I would bust her. She ruined me as a mark not only for herself but for every other panhandler in town.
I never give anyone money. Depending on the story they give me I may offer to buy them a sandwich or something and if they say no, oh well.
What if I go through all the trouble of tearing out one of my kidneys and it turns out that it isn`t capatible with his kids?
Oh, you meant literally, right?
I should have read the note. Maybe it was an order from the Pope or the POTUS…
While I truly believe that there are some real charity cases out there, I don’t think this is one of them. For something as severe as renal failure, there’s such a thing as free care. If this guy’s daughter was really in such straights, he’d know about it.
I give to almost anyone if I have it. Some guy at my train station put on a real crappy show. Hurt his leg, can’t work, blah, blah, blah. I gave him $10, even though he told me he was going to the bar. The guy doesn’t have much goin’ on except for his buzz, so I figure I’d help him with that. It was Christmas time. Otherwise, I would have kept it down to about $5.
I saw a photo at Rotten.com of a beggar that kept aggravating a festering open wound on his thigh in order to get sympathy and donations from others. What people will do…
I had one guy come up to me in a parking lot, show me his car (that someone else was driving), and tell me he had to get work done on the car so he could drive back to Michigan.
I asked what was wrong and he tells me it’s pistons etc. He needs $1400 dollars to get it fixed. I tell him I have nothing but coins but he’s welcome to them. He gets mad at me - I guess if you can’t handle anything else… So I give him about $1 in change and tell him that I have a good mechanic, let me write down the address and see if he can get a better rate.
He leaves. Oh well, guess he doesn’t want his car fixed after all.
Sorry, but the panhandlers that hassle me on a daily basis have turned me off to giving anything. I don’t carry ANY cash, just to avoid dealing with them.
A guy approached me one day on campus. Said he had run out of gas on High Street and did I have a couple bucks I could give him to get some. I gave him my last two bucks and went on my way. A week later, my friend was telling me about some guy who had asked her for money for gas, so she gave it to him. Then he hit her up the next day, same story; she told him to bug off. Since then? I don’t give anybody any money, whatsoever.
When I was younger and had more energy, I carried cards for a couple of local missions and a church ministry. That way, anyone with a real need could call (toll-free) and get in touch with people who were authorized to spend my donations. Really great for guilt.
There’s this one guy I see around here every few months or so. First ran into him in the parking lot at the bookstore. He’d taken the bus down from Humboldt county, but forgot to bring enough money for a return ticker. He said he needed twenty bucks to get home. I gave him a couple bucks, went on my way. A few months later, I see the same guy in front of the theater. Exact same story. I’ve got some change in my pockets, but I tell him I don’t have any cash and keep walking. A few months later, he’s in front of the Safeway. Same story. And, scarily, the same grey sweatshirt in all three instances. This time I just say no, walk off, and tell a passing mall cop that some guy is scamming busfare by the supermarket.
On the other hand, I was walking my dog the other night, and a woman in a houscoat with tears streaming down her face approached me and started talking about how she had two kids, and rent was due the next day, and if she couldn’t get another fifty dollars she was going to get kicked out. I figured, it’s worth risking five bucks on the chance that she’s a con-artist against the chance that she wasn’t.
Personal Idiosyncracy: Usually, I’ll give homeless people any loose change I’ve got on me. Unless they’re selling those “Street Sheet” newspapers. Because I don’t mind charity, but they’re elevating it to commerce, and I don’t want to buy anything. For some reason, I’ll give money to people for nothing, but I won’t give those same people money for something I don’t want. I ought to give them the money and let them keep the paper, but I never think to do that until I’ve already said “no” and walked past.
I used to work with homeless people in my town, and have turned a little bit hard toward the sob stories. I simply tell people that it is illegal to panhandle in this state and offer to give them info on where they can get free medical help/food/shelter if it is needed. I will not give them cash. I have seen to many coke addicts panhandling for me to feel sympathy anymore.
It may be different in a more rural area, but I know in my city you can get 7 free meals a day without going more than five blocks.
Almost 100% of these hard luck stories are bullshit. Don’t be taken in by anything a smelly ol’ bum says.
I tell them that both vagrancy and panhandling are illegal and if they don’t leave the area they’ll be arrested.
If you really want to help these jerks (why you would is beyond me, but it’s your money) then give your cash to real charities like the Salvation Army or donate to a food pantry. At least that way you’re also helping folks who truely deserve help. And it’s a tax write off!
