For many years I had Basic cable. This is the entry level of cable tv, but it costs you–approximately $35.00 per month last time I had it many years ago. Then things got tight financially and I actually decided to cancel cable altogether. Yes, I figured I could take the high road and join the arrogant intellectuals who would never stoop to even owning a tv, let alone having cable! When asked, I’d sniff, look down my nose and say, “oh, we haven’t had a television for years! We like to read books, you know.” And then, of course, hide the television behind a carefully constructed array of books to illustrate the point.
So, I called up the cable company to have them cut off my supply when I discovered that Basic is not really the entry level of cable tv. Oh no, there’s actually a sub level that they don’t tell you about–I don’t even know the name of it or if it has a name. I call it Poor Person Cable. And so, I had to sacrifice my Sci Fi channel, Home and Garden TV, Bravo, and A&E along with many others. I was left with all the local stations, PBS, UPN (to satisfy my Star Trek and Angel addictions), public access, and, mercifully, Comedy Central.
The next few years were difficult ones. I could only hear tell of Queer Eye For the Straight Guy, and Nip/Tuck. I survived on South Park and library DVDs of The Sopranos. I’d been doing okay–until yesterday. Yes, yesterday the channel Comedy Central was on was switched with…The Hunting Channel!!! Can you imagine my shock and dismay?! The horror! No more Colin Quinn. No more Jon Stewart. And no more South Park! No, instead I was treated to hairy men with southern accents wearing lots of plaid and saying things like “can you squeal like a pig, boy?” Okay, I made up that last part to dramatize my plight, but still, it was horrid! Well, this tragedy was too great, my addiction too strong. Just the thought of no South Park pushed me over the edge–I was jonesing for a fix and I hadn’t even missed it yet! So I wasted no time and called the cable company. They were more than happy to hook me up again. I even get the first two months free and the four after that at a reduced rate–sort of easing me back into it, getting me hooked again.
Okay, now the reason I tell you all this in this particular forum…What have I been missing? What else is out there that’s worth watching, not worth watching but fun or a total waste of time?
Hello, my name is Laura and I’m a cable tv-aholic.
Although, I have to confess that I’m finding that I haven’t really missed much after all these years of cable celibacy. Maybe it’d seem more meaningful if I had HBO.