I have a day off, so I’ll be moderating this forum today. I won’t move, delete or close any threads because that’s manual labour.
I will, however, issue a stern admonition to those who deserve it. And those who don’t. I will not play favourites.
So be nice. No kicking, cussing, scratching or biting. And no hissy fits.
And I’d like to remind you that flirting with me is not obligatory.
It’s mandatory.
That is all. Carry on.
hey what a great idea - maybe the SDMB could offer to someone here a mod for the day w/ real mod privilges (and a cut of the kickbacks 
). Some kind of contest maybe.
Spoilsport real moderator hat on
In the spirit of Orson Welles’ War of the Worlds broadcast, this is the disclaimer that this is not to be taken seriously and is in no way supported or given amy impratur of validity by the real people who run this place.
Thanks.
Spoilsport real moderator hat off
Heck! Euty, I just figured you were going to admit that Slip was the real power behind the throne all along…
Corr “C-O-N-spiracy”
All I have to say is that Slip Mahoney is a nazi.
Pay no attention to the man behind the screen.
I just got off the phone with Cecil (we talk) and he said, “Don’t pay Euty no never minds. We’re thinking of going with you as Head Moderator. He’ll have to answer to you.”
Now I’m convinced. Cec really is the smartest guy in the world.
Slip, I’d flirt with you, but I’m a snob.
Carry on.
I DO NOT want to be a moderator!
I got this name before UncleBeer became a moderator. 
Moderator’s Notes:
Snobbery will not be tolerated in this forum unless you’re a beautiful Canadian redhead.
You got lucky this time, Ginger.
Don’t push it.
He musta gotten named right before I got here, then . . .
I just wanted to take a moment here and say that in all the year’s I’ve been a Member here, I’ve never known a Moderator who was more fair-minded, even-handed, accepting, upbeat and moderate in their Moderation than good 'ole Slip Mahoney.
Many’s the day we’ve all seen him at the top of his game. I remember last March. Why, it’s like it was yesterday. He got in the middle of the famed Famous Troll Thread and just took command, like MacArthur in the Pacific. It was a wonder to behold. He was gentle yet firm, passive yet agressive, accepting yet segregationalist.
Such style comes along once in a generation. I for one have fallen to my knees on many an eve, thanking my god above that she sent to us a brilliant mind such as Slip Mahoney.
It makes me right proud to be a part of a community like ours. Forge on, you masterful Moderator you. You Regent of Regulation. You Archduke of Audits. We salute you, and we revere you.
In abject humility, lest you read my words and see within them even the slightest hint of toadying or brown-nosing, I remain your servant boy,
Cartooniverse
Moderator hat [on]
If anyone says something against ** Cartooniverse** they’ll answer to me.
Moderator hat [/off]
Carlooniverse and Slop are both fascists! Even-handed my eye. If they take over we’ll all be goosestepping in no time. Listen, to me, fellow Dopers and throw off this yoke of tyranny while we still have a chance!
And ano…[sub]mmmph,ack, gargle[/sub]
::thwack!!::
*…soporific but patriotic music starts to play gently in the background, the only other sound that can be heard is a flag flapping gently in the breeze… *
ShibbOleth, It’s too bad you had to learn this lesson so late in life: Don’t mess with those in power.
I’ve deleted all your clever posts. That’s right, wiseguy. They’re both gone.
And knock it off with the fascist crap! I’m a Leafs fan.
I really have nothing to say but, Slip yous is doin’ a faboo job. Keep it up. If you can. If not try a popcicle stick and duct tape. Just don’t go skating afterwards.
What I came here for was iampunha’s sig.
I estimate there are 1 matt_mcl’s. Not more than 3.
See? He’s not so derned inestimable after all, now is he?
-Rue.
Ok Slip, be honest now. Are you Julian Fantino?
Julie is my boss. Although I’ve never laid eyes on the man.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to police the rest of the forum.
This is not an easy job, you know.
Rue, my linguistically-challenged-but-very-special friend. “Inestimable” can also mean “Of immeasurable worth, invaluable”. So matt_mcl is now both immeasurable and invaluable. He’s a tricky one to pin down. Do you suppose he is also unweighable?
Slip - could you please lock that thread about that thing where that guy was a meanie? And fix all the coding errors I ever made? And while you’re at it, could you please bring me the moon on a stick? Thanks.
Fran
Fran, in reference to locking your thread and fixing your coding: Can’t do it, honey. Moments after you posted your requeat, my mailbox was flooded with threats. A typical example: “Francesca’s a fruitcake! If you try to make her look like a normal poster, you’ll be hunted down.”
Probably crank emails, but I have so much to live for, so I can’t take the chance.
Perhaps Euty can help. He’s absolutely fearless in the face of danger.
We now return you to the music of Ramon Racquello and His Orchestra. . .