For whatever reason (dictatorial fiat, the end of the world as we know it, a couple of guys getting drunk and having some laughs in a bar), we all decided to adapt new last names based on the vocabulary we have now. What sort of names would we end up with?
I’d say definitely “ESPN”, at least. It’s being used as a first name already.
Surely “Analyst” will replace “Smith” as the dominant occupational suname.
“Lackey” would be up there too, I would think.
“Hacker,” maybe?
Same with “Consultant.”
“Geek.”
20 years ago I might have said “Copierguy.”
In keeping with my Germanic birthname, I choose Luftmensch, although it’s not German so much as it is Yiddish. (The Germans wouldn’t dignify a man with no visible means of support by giving him a title.)
iPod.
Humanresourcesdirector.
Pundit.
Unix.
“I’m American, honey. Our names don’t mean shit.”
Specialist.
Lawyer.
Doctor.
Middlemanager.
Salesassociate.
The prefix “Fitz” used to connote that you were somebody’s illegitimate son. So, if you were the son of the king and his mistress, for instance, your last name would be “Fitzroy.”
Nowadays, there are so many NEW ways for children to be conceived and born, we need some new prefixes.
We ought to have names signifying one’s Myers-Briggs classification or various flavors of interpretation thereof. Entj or Isfp would be awkward, but perhaps Peacemaker, Eagle or Artisan.
Not a bad idea. How about don, clo and sur, respectively?
For my son in law: Lazybuttheadthatrefusestogetajob.
“It’s pronounced ‘Mod-er.’ We came over from Filefront, originally—though my grandmother was half Machiniman.”
Nerd.
Yeah, I don’t know… it would work for a lot of them, but doesn’t the surname Mastermind (INTJ) strike you as a bit pretentious?
Stalker is such a cool last number I’m tempted to use it.
I think I’d have to go for something like Meaningless or maybe Name. I fear, however, to think what the /b tards would saddle future generations with.