I have recently been captured by my archenemy Baron VonGool, and am writing from my cell on the secret computer hidden in my utility belt. VonGool has told me that he will soon be preparing to lower my sweetheart, Flora Bunnylove, feet first into a pool of molten lava unless I give him the password to launch America’s entire nuclear arsenal. As you can see, I am conflicted. And while I am sure I will find some last-minute strategem to once again foil that dratted VonGool, I am curious:
What will happen to Flora if she is lowered into the lava just a little bit? Will the feet and ankles be burned off, or will they still be there, and just burned horribly? If the latter, what will happen if she can be quickly extricated? When the rock cools, could it be chipped away from her feet? What would happen if she was standing there as lava crept up around her? Could she stand there as her feet were burned away, or would she slowly melt from the bottom up? How much of her body could be theoretically be covered in lava and still have her survive? Let’s say for instance, I wanted Flora to suffer just a little bit for all those winks I keep seeing her exchange with my sidekick, Amazing Boy (the little bastard), and I let a little glob of the boiling rock drop onto her; what then?
Thanks for the help. Any other insights on lava-related torture are always appreciated.
Yours for Honesty, Fairness, and the American Dream,*
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