Mom passed away last week. (Please, no need for condolences – it was a blessing in many ways.) She leaves behind me, my brother, my sister – all grown adults – and a house full of her and my dad’s old stuff.
Naturally we kids will take those family heirlooms and photos which we want to keep to remember our folks by, plus any household items that we can use ourselves. But that will leave a ton of other things, from cheesy knicknacks to kitchy lamps to books to used but decent furniture to a small army’s worth of plates, glasses and cutlery.
None – I repeat none – of the stuff is legitimate “antique” quality, but nor is it “crap.” It’s all standard flea market/garage sale quality goods.
Some options to consider: donate it to Goodwill, etc.; call in an estate buyer/auctioneer; ebay it ourselves; dump it as trash; or hold a garage sale (not an easy option given mom’s Greater NYC neighborhood – we’d probably have to haul it to my bro’s place in suburban NJ).
Please advise us. I’d love to hear helpful thoughts and suggestions from others who have been in this situation. Thanks in advance.
your garage sale idea would work if you tagged everything in place and had “open house” times. one of my neighbours did this in philly, she listed times on sat and sun for people to come on by and pick out what they wanted.
be sure to go through all books and old purses. my mum cleared out a bit of her closet 3 years ago and found $300.00 in purses and pockets. books may hold letters and mementos, or in my mother’s case a couple of 20s.
i am sorry to hear of your mother’s passing, may her and your father’s memory be eternal.
I think it might depend a lot on your desired time commitment. If you basically want to get rid of it with a minimum of fuss – and the minimum is always going to be more than you estimated – Goodwill or the Salvie is really the way to go. Plus you’ve essentially done a double good deed by donating fairly nice things: a) the folks who work there get a sales boost and b) the folks who shop there have a better selection. Note that I am a regular Goodwill customer (full disclosure; is that a conflict of interest?)
So, what do you say? Get rid of it, or take your time?
If you’re willing to take some extra time, I’d suggest visiting or calling up a few antiques and vintage dealers. If you don’t hit one right off that deals in the kind of stuff you have, they’ll often be able to redirect you. I’ve known them to take “package deals” of a lot of stuff, some of which they’re taking basically to take it off your hands, in order to get the few things they know they’ll have good buyers for right away. And many of them will come to the house to spec the stuff, alleviating a bout of lugging stuff around on your part. Though most of my (first- and second-hand) experience with this is in upstate NY, not NYC-area; folks in your area might be harder core (I done heerd them city folks is tough an gruff an stuff).
My experience with yard and estate sales is that they are waaay more trouble than they’re worth, objectively speaking. I’ve never known anyone who made enough money to really make it worth their while if they could be doing something else. Some people like having them, though: hanging out in the yard and bargaining with folks can be fun, I guess.
I don’t think I’d bother with eBay or the like for anything that’s not “collectible” – which might cover some of the cheesy knicknacks. My husband’s mom left an astonishing array of those godawful Hummel figurines – she hadn’t actually liked them, but somehow her relatives kept giving them to her anyway – and I was truly shocked to learn what people will pay for those things!
When my dad died last year, first we took what we wanted, then we invited more distant family members to come by and take what they wanted. That took care of a lot because I have a couple of cousins whose kids were just about to move away to college.
Then we sold the house with whatever was left inside included. I have no idea what the new owner did with it, but he was a neighbor of many years and we gave him a very good deal.
It sounds like you really don’t think there’s a lot of monetary value to all that stuff. If that’s the case, I’d invite the family members in in order of ‘seniority’ - brothers, sisters, cousins, grandkids, etc. Let them take what they want - Your parents would probably like the idea of having many of the things they held through their lives stay in the family.
After that, I’d call Goodwill or other charities that will pick up, and have them come in and take what they want.
After that, whatever is left either give away, or keep, or sell if it has value, or throw it away.
I like Sam Stone’s idea - especially if you have young adults in the family who are just starting their own households. Or, alternatively, if you don’t have young adults who can use common household stuff, how about an ad with a local college for the kids there to go through the house like a horde of locusts and clean it out for you? They can have anything they can haul away themselves, kinda deal.
Yep, pick through the stuff in order of senority. It is remarkable the little things people want. A set of plates, a glass thingee from the living room.
I think you first have to ask yourself what your goal is: to get rid of everything easily and quickly, or to make the most money off the stuff that’s left.
If its just to dispose of the remaining stuff without throwing it in the trash – the idea about letting young adult relatives (if any) have what they choose. When I was in my early 20’s, my grandparents passed away within 6 months of each other, leaving my dad as their only heir. Being the asshole that he was, he auctioned off the entire estate for cash without letting any of the grandkids select anything – memento or otherwise. My sister and I, having recently graduated from college, could have used a lot of the household stuff to set up our own apartments – it didn’t matter that it was old, or didn’t match or whatever.
If there are no young adult relatives – donating to charitable organizations is good. Some will even come out and pick the stuff up.
When my mom and dad died, I had neither the time nor the inclination to eBay or garage sale their stuff. I opted, instead, to have an auction. In my case, I also had a small parcel of rural real estate to sell so the auction was the best choice.
However, whether it be by garage sale or auction, it can be disturbing to consider that the entire contents of your parents home can be reduced to a nickle here and a quarter there.
If you don’t need the cash, the donation idea is a good one. The IRS is fairly considerate with the amounts they will allow for each of the household items.
Not to be insensitive, but my folks have joked me, that when they are gone the only way I’ll be able to get rid of all their stuff is to simply burn the house and barn down.
Seriously college kids like free stuff, especially furniture that is not based on milk crates and cynder blocks.
Do not proceed without getting a professional appraiser to assess the estate’s value. Unless you’re well versed in the pricing of items, you may very easily miss some extremely valuable pieces. Trust me, I’m a thrift shop junkie, inexperienced people in your same situation routinely stock my collections for pennies on the dollar.
We are going through this experiance with my late mother-in-law’s house and trying to dispose of so much stuff makes me more and more determined to cut down on our own possessions so that when our time comes our son will not have to go through the same experiance. It is all very well collecting things and filling your house with stuff but , when the time comes , most of it this will be worthless to other people and just a bind to dispose of.
In our present case we have removed any valuable stuff and the rest will be auctioned by the estate agent. The deal is that the house will put up for sale with the furniture still in it . The reason for this is that the agent says that empty houses do not sell as well as those with furniture in them ( people cannot visualize what rooms will look like when empty ). Once the house is sold the estate agent will dispose of all the stuff , dumping the trash and putting the rest in auction. This is useful to us as we live 150 miles away and it is worth our while to get somebody else to do it for us.
We are going through this experiance with my late mother-in-law’s house and trying to dispose of so much stuff makes me more and more determined to cut down on our own possessions so that when our time comes our son will not have to go through the same experiance. It is all very well collecting things and filling your house with stuff but , when the time comes , most of it this will be worthless to other people and just a bind to dispose of.
In our present case we have removed any valuable stuff and the rest will be auctioned by the estate agent. The deal is that the house will put up for sale with the furniture still in it . The reason for this is that the agent says that empty houses do not sell as well as those with furniture in them ( people cannot visualize what rooms will look like when empty ). Once the house is sold the estate agent will dispose of all the stuff , dumping the trash and putting the rest in auction. This is useful to us as we live 150 miles away and it is worth our while to get somebody else to do it for us.
Before you do anything make sure that there’s no will or letter of intent lurking about. There may be things that your mother wanted given to specific people.