Mom, how could you? (a very mild, beer related rant)

The BBQ Pit
1

So, I started my new dealing job last night. I ended up working an eleven hour shift because a guy on the late crew called off sick. Fine, I needed the money. But I have let myself get out of shape during my period of underemployment, and my low back muscles are sore. Well, actually all of me is sore.

My mom felt sorry for me, so while I lay comatose in my bed, She went grocery shopping. She went out of her way to purchase great yumminess for me, as well as great nutritiousness, since my job is so demanding. I expressed much gratitude and appreciativeness. Really.

She also bought beer. This is good, except for one thing. I got in the refrigerator to get a beer a few minutes ago. It was Black and Tan. In the fridge.

My mom put Black and Tan in the fridge.

AAAAAYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Refrigerating dark beer, especially good-quality dark beer, is a crime against God and Nature. The fullness of the wonderful flavors of dark beer don’t come out to play until the beer reaches room temperature. I have explained this to my mother many times. “Mom,” I tell her, “Don’t put dark beer in the fridge. You don’t get the full flavor of the beer. It has to be room temperature.”

She put the Black and Tan in the fridge.

I put a bottle in warm water to bring the temperature up to a drinkable level, and set another bottle on top of the fridge for tomorrow. I left the rest in the fridge. If mom wants to drink dark beer in a state of cold-induced bitter less-than-full flavoredness, I guess that’s her perogative. After all, she did go out and buy the beer.

But she could have at least left a bottle or two on the counter to get warm for me.

2

Congratulations on your new job. I also salute your wisdom in consigning this complaint to a pseudonymous message board pit thread, rather than let any small hint of it get anywhere near your mother.

3

I feel your pain I really do. It’s past midnight and my dog is sick and I can’t sleep and I’m sitting here drinking an Amstel Light.

4

By ‘room temperature’, I hope you don’t mean 18c? Because that’s too warm. An hour or two in the fridge gets a good beer down to 10-12c, which is perfect.

5

Mom meant well.

My wife has done the same, buying a fine porter, putting it in the fridge, chilling it to within a few degrees of tastelessness, and presenting it to me as if it was a gift from the gods when I got home.

My response? “Thanks, honey. I’ll just let it sit on the counter while I shower up, okay?”

It was still cold when I got to it. A week or two later, I nicely informed her that porters such as that one didn’t need to go in the fridge. But I sure appreciated the kindness!

6

What? You mean you’re laid up in bed, your mother went out and bought groceries for you, including beer, and put the beer in the fridge so that it would be cold for you?

Stupid bitch.

7

She probably doesn’t trim the crusts off her sandwiches or cut them diagonally either.

*Some *people.

8

Ales should be cellar temp; not room temp as GorillaMan notes. Cellar temp is about 55 F

9

Whinge much?

Say thank you to your mum.

10

Hmmmm, I always refridgerated my black and tans. I also eat Chef Boyardee out of the can, so maybe I’m the wrong person to ask about these things.

11

Like Homebrew said, it’s not really supposed to be served all that warm. If I put my beer in the fridge, then I just let it warm up some first; if I didn’t, then it has to go in the fridge a little while anyway to chill to the proper temperature. You end up waiting either way.

12

I perceive a new marketing niche – the DarkBeer Cooler[sup]TM[/sup]! With advanced electronic sensing to maintain your porter and stout at precisely the right drinking temperature! Remotely programmable and self-cleaning! Only $49.95 at all fine liquor stores and Wal-Marts near you!

Autamtic cap-remover $19.95 extra.

13

:smack:

“Automatic”

:smack:

:: slinks away ::

14

You’re too late, EddyTeddyFreddy. I’ve already got one of these for a deep freeze. Pefect serving temp. Or lagering temp if I want to make a lager.

15

I don’t get it. Is it physically impossible for you to remove the Black and Tan from the fridge? If being chilled causes its chemistry to be altered, thus rendering it un-drinkable, then it would stand to reason that you could only purchase Black and Tan during the summer months. The backs of most semis aren’t heated, you know, and the product is bound to get chilled at some point during its transport from the plant to your mom’s grocery store during the winter.

So let’s think out of the box here. I have a crazy idea! Take the beer out of the fridge and allow it to return to room temperature. Voila! Tepid goodness.

16

Cellar temperature.

17

You’d better tell that to practically every publican in the whole of Ireland, where Guinness is always served chilled.*

BTW, in England, a black-and-tan is half Guinness and half bitter. Is that the same over there - I’m presuming you’re in Yankland?

*There are a few grumbling old men down the country who drink it out of room-temperature bottles, or get the publican actually to heat it up for a few seconds in a microwave after it’s been poured, but the rest of us drink it cold.

18

The typical combination I’ve seen here is half Guinness, half Harp Ale. I assume that’s what’s in the pre-packaged version; I’ve only seen it poured fresh in a pub (Harp on the bottom, Guinness poured carefully on top to get a two-layer effect).

19

‘Round these parts it’s Guinness and Bass ale. Six o’ one, half dozen o’ the other though.

20

:smack: Bass ale, not Harp ale. I haven’t had one in a while.