Although I’m not a mom, my sister was pitiful during her pregnancy. From the day she found out, till two months after the birth of her son.
Another question for all of you Moms:
I have seen the procedure involving the…ow…cutting of the peranium (sp?) before/during labor- both IRL (cousin’s baby) and on t.v. I guess this is called an episiotomy (again sp?).
Did you have to have one? Does everyone have to have one? Did it hurt like mad, or do you not notice, with all the other hubub going on? Does it hurt for a long time afterwards? Is there a nasty scar?
Seems trivial, I guess. But we’ll be planning our family pretty soon (next year and 1/2 or so), and that’s the only thing that REALLY scares me.
Boy, I hope I can train MY wife as well as your husband did his! 
Episiotomies are not essential. There’s some pretty good research which shows that tearing is better – the episiotomy can lead to a tear in addition to the cut whereas simple tearing can be less. Ask your hcp what their episiotomy rate is. My midwives simply didn’t do them unless it was an emergency and they needed to get the baby out fast.
Likewise someone mentioned nurses getting blood out. Ummm, no, that’s not a routine feature of birth either.
I hated being pregnant. I was very bad at it and gained lots of weight no matter what I ate. I also was blessed with the ability to maintain my serious lardarse status after the birth while breastfeeding. I rarely lost an ounce while I was breastfeeding. My kids are still worth it.
My OB didn’t do episiotomies either. But I did rip.
And after birth was very painful. It was about two weeks before I could walk around Target without a lot of pain.
I was tired throughout my pregancy, but not immobile (though I did give birth three weeks early). I did gain a lot of water weight. Which means that I ended up with a body that will never see a bikini or midriff bearing top again - no matter if I am a size six or a size twelve. Too much skin, not enough belly. Little morning sickness.
I wasn’t a good pregnant woman, but that may have had more to do with the terms of my pregnancy - we suffered infertility for years, adopted, and then I got pregnant. Not many people get to be preganant for the first time and the first time mom of a baby at the same time. I was very irritible. Had post partum depression.
I am not going to post about being pregnant because I have posted a lot about it in the past, but here’s a poem I wrote about being a new mom -
Modern Woman
I am a modern woman.
I am educated, assertive and focused.
Don’t look at me with pity and condescending stares and ask me how
I can be at home all day, everyday with my child.
After all, don’t I miss work?
Don’t I miss the feelings of strength, power, independence and ambition?
I can only smile and know a secret you may never know.
I feel strength when I hold my baby and stop her tears and fear with only my presence.
I feel power when my body alone creates her nourishment.
I feel independence when I am separated from the pursuit of corporate success and gossip.
I feel ambitious ambition when I help prepare my child for life.
I am a modern woman.
I have made the choice to have a family.
I am not trapped, nor do I regret or miss the deadlines and meetings. I awake everyday to the sound of my child’s cooing and chatter.
I meet her first sight gummy grins with my own wide smiles.
I enjoy the quiet time cuddling her as she nurses, her hand resting on my breast.
I stroke her soft hair and hold her fingers rather than a phone or a cup of coffee.
I sing songs and play games to bring the giggles to her sweet face.
I marvel at her rosy cheeks and know my true purpose in this life.
I am a modern woman.
I am strong, powerful, independent and ambitious.
I am a modern woman, and I am a mother.
I loved being pregnant. Except for a couple fainting spells and tiredness, I felt great. I was 97 lbs. when I conceived, 117 at delivery, and 103 leaving the hospital. No stretch marks. I exercised moderately. My hair grew longer! I kept much of the pregnancy boobage to this day (27 years later). The hard part is raising them. Pregnancy is a piece of cake!
I just re-read the last few sentences of my previous post. I didn’t actually mean that raising my boobs was hard (but it is, damnit! it is!). I was speaking of raising my son. Heh.
Kalhoun I am not sure if you are one of my favorite dopers for your intelligence and wit or the doper I’d most like to kick for being so skinny, witty and intelligent. 
There is no higher form of compliment.
The last time I was the number 97 in my life it was my IQ, and it’s dropped since then, I’m sure.
Boobage. Good word.
Don’t feel bad Shirley… I read Kalhoun’s post and thought ‘gee I gained 97 pounds during my last pregnancy!’
It was a lot of fluid though… darn preeclampsia! I spent a week peeing like a maniac. Dropped 50 pounds!
If you’re worried about an episiotomy, you’ve got some options–I mean, there are steps you can take to reduce your chances of getting one and needing one. First, you can practice perianal massage. Did I spell that right? Anyway, it involves massaging the perinium with oils and such during pregnancy, increasing its ability to stretch during childbirth. The second is to choose a midwife rather than an OB. Midwives are less likely to do episiotomies. They’re more comfortable with letting the body stretch, and more skilled at (and committed to) protecting that area of the body.
LMAO Thanks for that slip-up Kalhoun.
I loved being pregnant. I had none of the usual pregnancy problems, apart from tiredness. It’s incredible to feel a new human life growing in you, moving around inside you. I loved lying back and watching my stomach ripple as she moved. I finally got to feel ‘one’ with my body, hippyish as that may sound. I was never immobile - I was cycling miles even when I was overdue. One of my sisters has lots of children, and I finally understood one of the reasons why: she loved being pregnant. Just by eating right and being alive you are doing something amazing and important, creating a new life. I’d be pregnant again like a shot, if I didn’t have to go through labour.
That was hell. I generally have a high tolerance for pain, but my labour was 33 hours of agony (plus several hours of the mild cramps the other posters have mentioned). But then there was a woman opposite me on the ward who popped her huge son out in two hours with just aromatherapy for pain relief. It’s different for everyone, and you can’t predict how yours will be (I did everything right, my labour should not have been that bad, but it was). However, when it’s hell, it’s a short-lived hell.
Weight was also not an issue. I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight within three days. After the birth I actually lay there and watched my stomach deflate. My tummy was a bit saggy though, and had to be worked on ('m used to a washboard stomach and hated a tummy that moved of its own accord).
I did have an episiotomy. My daughter had the cord around her neck, was not breathing, and I couldn’t get her out. The episiotomy was necessary to give her more room to be born. It didn’t hurt a bit when it was done - well, not on top of the pain of the contractions anyway. I was later given a local anaesthetic while they did the stitches, which also didn’t hurt. My stitches got infected and I couldn’t sit down comfortably for a long time. But it got the baby out.
Don’t let pregnanct worries put you off having a child. but also don’t let anyone pressure you into parenthood before ou’re ready. Fantastic though it can be, it’s also much, much harder than you can possibly imagine. Don’t go into it half-hearted.
Aside from the great hair and nails I got, I hated it. At least I didn’t have to push at all - I had a c-section. I was tired all the time, I had gestational diabetes, food aversions - blech. I did miss feeling the baby moving around inside after he was born and I couldn’t get used to not having the belly but I got over it. I didn’t even fall in love with the baby till he was well over a year old. The birth experience caused a rift between my husband and me. I won’t say I don’t recommend it, because I know it’s just me, but that’s what it was like for me.
I had the episiotomy, but didn’t notice it at all. They do use a sharp scalpel, after all. Ever cut yourself shaving with a fresh razor and not know it until you noticed it bleeding? Before the stitching, they do a little local anaesthesia, also not noticeable. Stitches healing get kind of itchy, the way any healing tissue does; I imagine it would be similar if it were a tear.
If this worries you, when the time comes talk to your doctor, midwife, whoever is going to do the delivery, and discuss your worries and his/her professional opinion.
I think everybody has pretty much covered it. But here are my stories anyway.
I HATED being pregnant. Seriously. I am not a good pregnant person.
With my first son I had an extremely difficult pregnancy and they induced my labor 7 weeks early. Was in labor for 14 hours and he was only 4 pounds when he was born. I gained 11 pounds the entire pregnancy. He was perfect when he was born. No pain in the least. Epsiotomy didn’t hurt a bit. I was back in my blue jeans the next day. He is 6 now and I wouldn’t take a thing in the world for him.
Second son. Not so difficult as the first but still hard. I had been told I might not be able to have another child so I was thrilled I could have him. Labor was induced again but only a week early. Was only in labor for 5 hours. Little more pain this time but nothing major. It really is NOTHING like on tv or in the movies…trust me on this one. He weighed 7 pounds and is doing great…15 months old.
Now…why I hated being pregnant. My tummy doesn’t handle the extra hormones well. I stayed sick for the entire time. I mean morning, noon and night. I couldn’t drink water without being sick. I couldn’t keep vitamins down…even the liquid kind.
And after all that I would do it again in a heartbeat if my husband and I thought we could afford another one.
There is nothing like being a mom and hearing your babies call your name for the first time.
OTOH…I respect women who say that they don’t have maternal instincts and choose not to have a child. Better to recognize that early than to have a child and not want it later.
Best wishes. I hope you decide to be a mommy.
I can’t add much to what’s already been said. I would like to recommend that you do some research and explore your options now. I had two less than stellar birth experiences - with an OB in a huge, impersonnal practice. Then, when I balked at scheduling a C-section with the third and I was told some pretty terrible things by the MD, I started looking around at the other care givers available. I really wish I had done that when I was pregnant with the first.
About “granola” births vs. medicated “make sure the Doctor doesn’t miss his tee time” births:
The US doesn’t rank all that high in terms of infant and maternal mortality and morbidity when compared to other nations. Most of the nations with lower infant mortality use midwifes and other labor support professionals at a much higher rate than we do and don’t routinely medicate moms. They do this because when you look at the statistics no medication is safer for all concerned.
When my sister-in-law gave birth in Japan, she was not given either an epidural or other anesthesia because she was told it was dangerous for the baby. She was offered acupunture, which she turned down.
On a final note. DO NOT worry about having trouble bonding or caring for your child because you are not a baby person. When folks see me with 3 kids they saw “You must really love kids.” Actually nothing is further from the truth. I wasn’t a “kid person” before they were born. I usually ask the person who says this if they love their parents. When they say yes I ask them, “Does that mean you really love old people?”
My body looked better 6 months after I had my baby than it had ever looked in my life. Seriously. Pregnancy made me feel stronger and physically capable of anything.
I cosign with whoever said they had the nose of a bloodhound. I could smell the print on newspapers and magazines and such. My boyfriend’s work clothes smell would make me puke.
Also, my mom says that childbirth is the kind of pain you forget. I wouldn’t agree with that completely, but it’s one opinion.
Shirley Ujest said, “Boobage. Good word.”
Like that one, huh? Then you’ll just loooovvvee “nipplage.” Say it. Nipplage. Nipplage. It sounds sort of crisp, doesn’t it?? 
I had a largish tear the first time (and, yes, I did do the massage thing–I just have big-headed kids), and a small episiotomy the second time. The tear was pretty tender while it healed, but even with 30+ stitches (it was 4 stitches for the episiotomy), it only took a week of sitting on pillows before I was feeling more or less fine again. With the episiotomy I was up and around right away.
As others have said, you won’t feel it when it happens, if it does at all.
[QUOTE=C3]
I’m pregnant RIGHT NOW with my first baby.
QUOTE]
So, I must ask how’d it go - well, I hope? Being 9 or so months since you posted, I would assume that the little one has made his/her grand appearance by now.
Sorry for the bump. I found this thread by doing a somewhat unrelated search. As a twenty-something planning on having children within the next few years I found the subject matter to be quite interesting - and very informative.
DoperChic