Monkey Brains

Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports
21

I am prior Navy.
Monkey Brains served in the Philippines…1970’s. Fried. (Not served from live monkey at the table.)
Also, growing up I used to cook fried pork brains for my father. (They looked like grey scrambled eggs.)

22

I had venison brain at a fancy French restaurant when I was 20. It tasted okay, (mild and nutty) but the idea of it sort of creeped me out, and the texture was unpleasant.

Bugs are much nicer to eat. I’ve had grasshoppers and ants (and lobster and crab) and they were quite tasty.

23

This is true, but I want to add that it isn’t just an urban legend of ignorant foreigners who base their knowledge of Asia on watching indiana jones.

I live in Shanghai, and many times people have said to me “Do you know in X, they eat the brain from a live monkey?!”.
Which country or province is X varies, and it’s always a friend of a friend who supposedly witnessed this.
I’ve heard it so often that as soon as they say “Do you know…”, I pre-emptively eyeroll.

24

There’s a saying that the Shanghaiese are the hardest people in the world to swindle for a nickel, and the easiest to swindle for 5 million. Based on my 12 years living in Shanghai and experience with the bazillion Shanghaiese relatives of my wife, I would say that there is a reasonable basis in that saying.

Mijin, I’ve heard that same line many times. I would point out that I actually was in x and looking for monkey brains in the 1980’s and couldn’t find any, and the retort would be “that’s because you weren’t shanghaiese.”

I’d buy stuff, didn’t matter where, on the street or in a store, and my wife would ask the price, I’d say x, and she would invariably say “I could get it for half of that.” And to be fair, she would be correct at least a reasonable amount of the time. I took to just wildly making up prices, “the hawker paid me $20 to take it because my white face attracted more buyers to make up for it” and my wife would say things like “I could’ve gotten $30.” I love Shanghai, Shanghai culture and the Shanghaiese, but sometimes they are just completely full of shit.