The best choice for her is the one that causes you the least stress. (I promise that if you worry all the time about how much school costs, she will think that it her fault that you are worried!) There is every reason to believe that she will thrive in any supportive enviroment (the vast majority of kids do) and if, for some reason, she doesn’t, then there is plenty of time to tweak things and explore your options.
For the record, the idea behind Magnet schools was to put good schools in poor areas so that white, middle class kids would be fighting for the chance to integrate. Sometiems it worked well, sometimes not at all: you’ll ned to visit the actual school.
I sympathize with your situation, although from a different perspecitve.
My mother found herself in a similar conundrum over where to send me to school when I was younger. My mother has never been rich or religious, but ended up putting me in a Christian school from K-7th grade.
It turned me into an intelligent young person who hates religion. The trade off for a good education was that I grew to truly loathe most of the people I was around, simply because I did not come from a religious home and was not “one of them.”
Conversely, my sister went to a Montesori school and ended up a bit better… uhm… adjusted to her surroundings. I would recommend Montesori above a religious private school anyday, if only becaue I think there is more than enough religion in private life- and no need for it in educational forums.
But then again, I’m poorly-adjusted when it comes to being around religious people, so my opinion is a bit biased.
However- if it were between a christian school and a public school, I would go with the Christian school. sometimes a little social maladjustment is a good trade off for an excellent education.
I sympathize with your situation, although from a different perspecitve.
My mother found herself in a similar conundrum over where to send me to school when I was younger. My mother has never been rich or religious, but ended up putting me in a Christian school from K-7th grade.
It turned me into an intelligent young person who hates religion. The trade off for a good education was that I grew to truly loathe most of the people I was around, simply because I did not come from a religious home and was not “one of them.”
Conversely, my sister went to a Montesori school and ended up a bit better… uhm… adjusted to her surroundings. I would recommend Montesori above a religious private school anyday, if only becaue I think there is more than enough religion in private life- and no need for it in educational forums.
But then again, I’m poorly-adjusted when it comes to being around religious people, so my opinion is a bit biased.
However- if it were between a christian school and a public school, I would go with the Christian school. sometimes a little social maladjustment is a good trade off for an excellent education.
I would be very cautious about Waldorf schools. I have heard very mixed things about them–Rudolf Steiner had some wonderful and some screwy ideas. Morgainelf do check out this controversial Waldorf Skeptics http://www.waldorfcritics.org/active/articles.html site.
I’m way too young to be a parent, but I agree with Neurotik that the home environment is the most important thing. And if nothing else, public school can teach your kids (as it taught me) the way bureaucracy works.
In our region there have been a lot of failed charter schools as well. I’d hesitate to stick my kids in charter schools because of the stability issue - I really want my kids to be able to go to the same school year after year.
If you lived here and were me, you’d be best off moving to another district. While private schools can be wonderful - non-religious are often very expensive (at least here) and I’d be more comfortable investing the money in a home in a better school district. The home will retain value and a good public education is worth as much as a private education (unless you are sending your kid to some Ivy League Prep school).
It sounds like you have one child and I don’t know if you plan on having any more. But keep in mind that what you do for one you will have to do for each of them. One kid in private school is expensive, more is really expensive.
In my experience Montessorri is wonderful for pre-school, but it is best for kids who are self driven - especially after kindergarten or early elementary, and even they may have a hard time transisitoning to a more structured learning environment if they move to a traditional high school.
(RickJay, we spend a little under $20,000 on two kids going to ordinary daycare last year. We do live in an expensive day care town and I have my kids is a center - home daycare is cheaper. But we’ve looked at private schools as well - $14,000 for any private high school I’d consider (church affilated schools are cheaper, but we are non-Christian Unitarians and aren’t about to turn our kids over to the Brothers or the Seventh Day Adventists) - and its reasonable after $9500 a year for daycare per kid. We have, however, decided that we are better off sending the kids to the public school nearby, which is a pretty good one).
I’m sorry, but not being a sushi fan, this confused me. Can you clarify? BTW, there’s nothing mysterious about my username. It’s my first name and last initial. This is the first message board I’ve ever belonged to, and before I got here, I didn’t know “clever, funny or meaningful” was part of the shtick, and now I just feel dowdy. Oh, right. I am dowdy.
Don’t worry. I’m not one of those “rabid homeschoolers” who thinks anyone who doesn’t homeschool just doesn’t love their kids enough! It’s an individual decision that needs to be made based on you, your child, whether or not she thrives in other schools, and whether homeschooling would solve more problems than it creates.
Psss! I want to tell you a secret. Even if the community doesn’t normally offer a choice of schools, you can go to the school board and pertition to have your child put in a different school. Back when I was little, my parents fought to have me go to a different elementary school (in Lawrence), using the argument that I should go to fourth grade at the school next to my sitter’s house (rather than to go to the one on a street commonly refered to as “crack alley,” which they intended to bus me to; it wasn’t even the closest school.). It only took one meeting for the decision to go through. This was back before any communities regularly allowed parents a choice of schools (1986) so my guess is with the pressure within the state to do it now, it’d be even easier to convince them that your child shouldn’t attend default school.
Don’t fall into the trap of choosing a school just because it’s a (fill in the blank) school. There are tremendous differences in quality, teaching methods and discipline even within the same group of schools.
At one point Mrs. Kunilou provided special education services to parochial school students. Her experience with that convinced her that too many (bad) school principals want all their students to fit into a single standard and that those on either extreme of the spectrum should go somewhere else. However, other principals (and teachers I should point out) were absolutely committed to every student getting the most out of school possible.
By the way, we sent all three of the Kunilou kids to a Montessori pre-school. They all liked it, but it’s safe to say they each responded differently to the experience.
I too am a product of public schools. To lend support for an important idea stated before, it was my parents who made the difference. Not because of what they taught me, but because of their respect for education and teachers (they were also educators). I had a good attitude about school and its importance, and looked up to teachers.
When I got older, I did have some teachers who (I was shocked to discover) weren’t necessarily good teachers or good people. But again, my family’s attitudes made a difference. What was difficult was being in class with students who didn’t care, and/or whose parents didn’t care or respect the school’s authority.
My son was just accepted into a Christian Montessori preschool. I can’t yet post a review of his expereinces because he won’t start until fall. But one of the major attractions for me was that the school is like a family. The parents get together for potlucks; they are considered integral to the success of the school; they go to conferences with the teachers often. I want my kid to be in an environment where every family of every child is committed to the educational process.
We’re not particularly devout, either. We just like the whole commitment to teaching values that a religious-oriented education offers.
My son attends a local Charter school run by National Heritage Academies, and my daughter will start there in the fall. The pluses far outweigh any minuses, in my opinion. Excellent teachers, high academic standards, “moral values” taught (not based on religion, but on the Greek cardinal virtues), parental involvement strongly encouraged and welcomed, extra-curricular activities, etc. If I weren’t such a newbie, I’d include a link to their website…
My son goes to a Montessori School, and is thriving. He would have real problems in a “regular” school because he has such a strong personality and self-image. He’s still in pre-school (but Montessori pre-school, where he is reading, and learning about decimal places, and the names of geometric solids) and will be in Kindergarten next year. One of the things I like about Montessori is that they mix the ages. The kids in his class range from 3 to 6, so the older kids help the smaller kids.
I went to Quaker schools my entire life, and enjoyed them. There the emphasis is on academics, but with an understanding of the individual involved, which is where I think public education breaks down, simply because the administration can’t treat each person as an unique individual, and adjust the schooling and discipline accordingly.
Our plan is for Gabe to go to Montessori schools until at least 6th grade, and then move him to a Quaker school for middle school and high school. Montessori, in my opinion, doesn’t prepare the student enough for the structure of high school (and college), where papers are due at a particular time, and you have to complete the assignment on time. It lacks a focus on the craft of academics. Our Montessori school is added a middle school, and this is an issue that they will be addressing. He may stay if they do a good job of it.
I’m the director of education at a museum, so I regularly come into contact with kids from public, private, and parochial schools, as well as home schoolers. Generally, the kids from the parochial schools are my favorites. (I’m not religious, btw.) They pay attention, are very good at following directions, and ask great questions. I suspect that the schools’ discipline accounts for the first two and small class size for the third.
Kids from public schools and most private schools are next best. By and large, they don’t ask as many questions or pay attention as well as the parochial school kids.
Homeschoolers and kids from Montessori and other non-traditional private schools are a real mixed bag. Sometimes they’re very perceptive and engaged; sometimes not. They generally do a bad job at not interrupting, not speaking while the teacher is talking, etc.
These are pretty big generalizations, I realize, and they may or may not be helpful.
norinew, nori is the seaweed sheet that gets wrapped around rice and fish for maki sushi! Nori-nu is also a brand of tofu! So don’t tell anyone else your name is Norine W., and everyone will think you’re very hip.
Amishblue, to include the link just type in the website address and the Dope will automatically link to it. Or, you can cut and paste the address from the “address” bar at the top of the screen.
Thanks everyone for your input! It seems that it comes down to visiting and investigating each school, and determining which one will best suit my daughter. I guess I knew that, but it helps to hear others say it.
When we lived in Charlottesville, a lot of the kids went to the local Waldorf school. My observations were that it was, in some ways, wonderful. These kids had a lot of self confidence and creativity. They were very artistic, and tended to be self directed learners. They were also fun, imaginitive and great to be around. I would seriously think about Waldorf, at least for a younger child.
Waldorf doesn’t put a lot of emphasis on learning to read. The kids told stories, acted out poetry, listened to great literature, etc. It wasn’t uncommon for a third grader to be unable to read, but to have great communication skills. Usually after a couple of years the reading just kicked in, and they were suddenly reading at a high school grade level. The downside is that with kids who have a reading disability (e.g., dyslexia), early intervention is crucial, and it wouldn’t necesarily be noticed at a Waldorf school, let alone diagnosed or treated.
Waldorf doesn’t give emphasis to the sciences or math, either. This was one of the main reasons that parents teneded to move their kids to public schools either in junior high or high school. They just didn’t cover algebra, calculus, physics, etc. I have heard that this is changing to some degree, so check with the individual school.
Also, be aware that, in general, private schools don’t have to deal with problems, and have no qualms about asking kids to leave. On the other hand, public schools are mandated to deal with all kinds of learning disabilities. So if your child needs speech therapy, or special help in math, or has ADD or whatever, the public schools may very well be your best option.
In CA, even if your child is in a private preschool, the school district is still obligated to provide special ed services, including speech therapy. My son attends his Montessori preschool, and also receives speech therapy twice a week at a local elementary school (although his receptive language was incredible, he didn’t talk much at all). I believe that the age it starts is 2 1/2 or 3.
So even if a child has some special needs, private preschool may still be an option, if your district provides the specialized stuff.
