Some background: Mike, another sophomore at my high school, and I are sort of academic rivals. He takes school very seriously, and I’m more of the slacker type, but we both consistently get top grades.
Now, lately, Mike has been saying some very insensitive things. I am Jewish, and he knows this. Sometimes, almost randomly, he’ll say “Stop being so Jewish, Elan!” I have yet to understand what that implies, but it’s safe to say it’s always negative.
Since I’m no stranger to anti-Semitism, especially at school, I’ve almost become numbed to it.
Another thing about Mike is that he’s academically dishonest. His parents have hired an English tutor for him and the tutor practically writes papers for him.
So I sort of want this slimeball to get in trouble, one way or another. But I get the feeling that I’m doing it for immoral reasons.
It’s obvious that he’s out of line with his anti-Semitic comments. OTOH, I don’t get very worked up because of them.
So I consult the SDMB: Should I turn him in next time he says that?
Who are you planning on turning him in to? Is there really anything anybody is going to do? Or can do? Sure it sucks, but who are you going to tattle on him to?
And how do you know with absolute certainty that his tutor writes his papers for him? Is it anything more than a hunch or do you have evidence?
Anything racist ‘should’ be reported. But obviously this isn’t always a practical solution, and it sounds like you’re aware of it. My advice would be to keep a record of all his comments, diary-form (and to be fair, keep records of anything you hear from anyone else) - and then the moment he says something WAY out of order, you can fuck him beyond belief
My friends make remarks about my Jewishness all the time, and I make remarks about their race, religion, and other things they don’t have much control over. We all know that we are comfortable with joking around with each other like that, and if any of us said “Guys, this is making me uncomfortable” we would respect their wishes and stop doing it with/around them.
Tell Mike you’re not comfortable with his anti-Semitic remarks. Since he’s not making specific accusations and “Stop being so Jewish” is pretty silly, it sounds like he thinks it’s just a joke. To you, it isn’t–so tell him that. Have a serious talk about it that makes it very clear to him that it really bothers you.
If he doesn’t stop, tell the principal or some other responsible adult at school that he is making anti-Semitic remarks directed at you that you’re not comfortable with, and you’ve made it clear to him that you’re not comfortable with it, but he hasn’t stopped. I think people would take this more seriously than a complaint that Mike has his tutor write papers for him (unless you have truly reliable evidence that you can produce for the principal or whomever).
In the name of fairness, if you really do have damning evidence that he’s cheating, I think you should tell him first that you don’t think that’s right and he should stop. If he blows it off, tell him you have evidence and you’re going to take it to the principal (or teacher, or whomever) if he doesn’t promise to stop cheating. Show him your evidence if you can and if you have to. It’s wrong to cheat to get good grades, but it’s even worse to do it to spite your academic rival (not sure if this is what he’s doing) because it’s almost an insult – “I’m better than you because I can get away with this”. Tape recorders, BTW, are great for compiling smoking-gun type evidence, although there’s a chance it won’t be accepted fully unless the person being recorded knows s/he is being recorded, and if Mike knew you were recording him he probably wouldn’t say “Yeah, I got my tutor to write my English paper for me and I got a bitchin’ grade on it”.
a) if he’s only saying “stop being so jewish”, it’s likely not intended as a deep insult. Personally, I would let it roll off, but if it really offends you, then you should tell him that it offends you and that he must stop it.
b) Tattling on such a minor thing without taking any steps to stop it your self is really childish. If someone is making threats or seriously hateful remarks to you, that’s different. This sounds like a far cry from that.
c) if he’s really cheating, that’s a bad thing. If he’s claiming it to you, you should tell him it’s a bad thing and that he should stop. If he doesn’t then you should let the authorities know.
d) the fact that you say he’s a serious student and you’re a slacker makes your claim that he cheated a bit doubtful.
To put it bluntly, and to answer your original question: your current planned path is immoral.
Anti semitic (or just insensitive) remarks, and academic dishonesty are two separate things. I mean, if you wanted to get him in trouble for being a racist, that would be one thing. If you were motivated to tattle on him out of interest in besting him at the grade competition, well, also justifiable. But you seem to be confusing the two issues.
Most people feel pretty low when seeking revenge, first get it clear in your head what you want. It sounds like you want him to refrain from making anti semitic remarks to you. It also sounds like you resent him for not earning his good grades. Both of those things have solutions, neither one involves revenge.
If you just want him to suffer and it isn’t a moral problem for you, tattle.
