@Dinsdale
I recognize what you’re saying. I’m probably on the spectrum myself, but I get why you don’t get the outpourings of sympathy for people who put themselves in situations that were forseeably risky and/or bad. One example that always stayed with me was a story from I think fifteen or twenty years ago, when a group of Dutch tourists was stranded in the east Algerian desert where they were apparently on a safari, right in the middle of a civil war,and they were complaining about the lack of help from local authorities and the Dutch government. My takeaway from that, as with the story of the mountaineer, was that the world isn’t your playground. Mother Nature doesn’t give a flying fuck whether you survive , it’s up to you. It’s the entitlement of outsourcing that responsibility that annoys me. With the mountaineer it seems her relatives are paying for the retrieval of her body, but still someone has to go up there. That person will be paid to do so, so that’s fine, but it’s not something to be demanded. I think at least where my own judgmentalness kicks in is the entitlement with which people expect to be saved all the time, like those people in Florida who had the means and the information to act differently, but chose to trust their gut instead of the meteorologists and are leaving it up to others to rescue them, thus being an undue burden. I get that annoyance. I’ve also experienced that it’s not a popular outlook to have. It’s far more cuddly to be upset over the woe that befalls someone than to ask questions. In my case, I know it has to do with the undue burden aspect, because that’s a personal pet peeve. My husband and I share this outlook, so that’s where I keep my thoughts. I think it’s actually courageous to speak up in this case, and go against the sentimental grain. But given the reactions so far we seem to be a minority.
I don’t think this way of thinking has to do with a lack of empathy actually. I find it’s very well possible to empathize with someone’s plight and not overlook the stupidity and the choices that led up to the situation.
No, but if we choose not to then the potential consequences of that choice are first and foremost our own responsibility. The fact that you choose to climb a mountain /go white water rafting/do some other thing that might seriously put you in harm’s way doesn’t entitle you to sympathy or help. Of course, the fact that most of us are hardwired to help others in need will probably lead to someone helping you should the need arise, but that’s a favor you should be grateful for and not something to just expect. I think that’s where the rub is with OP. It certainly is with me.
ETA: “you” in general ,not you personally.I don’t know your outlook in this .
Well done!
We’re friends with a couple who always wanted a house on the gulf coast of Florida. But before they bought the house, they bought an RV… so they’d always have a way to evacuate, with a bed and a kitchen (stocked with plenty of food and water and gin and olives).
Sure–if you don’t plan for self-rescue then it’s hard to sympathize too much. My experience with search-and-rescue folks is that they are driven by the same thing as the people they rescue.
I admit I don’t have much sympathy for people who do stupid shit.
A friend of mine (former friend would be more accurate) didn’t believe in wearing a seatbelt. He “didn’t want the government telling him what to do,” so it was some sort of weird principle to him. About ten years ago he got in a car wreck and was hurt. There was lots of sympathy being poured out on his wife’s Facebook page. I wrote something to the effect that he probably wouldn’t have been hurt had he been wearing a seatbelt. A bunch of people got very irate with me, and his wife unfriended me.
Was I wrong in my comments? Perhaps I should have said nothing. But I just can’t get over how incredibly stupid it is to not wear a seatbelt, and I find it impossible to find sympathy for people who don’t wear one and get hurt.
But the same goes for other things. If you engage in recreational behaviors that are known to be very risky, and you get hurt/killed/whatever, I will find it difficult to care.
Yeah–if you engage in risky behavior (like being alive) you should hedge your bets. I have a rescue beacon, rescue insurance, a full self-rescue kit, good health insurance and I keep my gear in good condition. I admit to a lot of roll-eyes over the years for the fundraisers for people who got fucked up in the mountains and didn’t even have health insurance.
What is “very risky,” though? I know way too many people who have been caught in avalanches and a few who have died, but as a country the US sees between 10-50 avalanche deaths a year out of millions and millions of user days. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were as many deaths on golf courses.
Maybe she accomplished simple enjoyment. Skiing off those mountains would be an exhilarating experience. And she had the skill & experience to make it work for 49 years. So probably not at all stupid.
If you believe community service is comparable to extreme skiing, you really need to get out of the house more often.
Human
“Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee.”
― John Donne, Meditation XVII - Meditation 17
Stupid people doing stupid things does get tiresome but the only other thing that happens is smart.people doing stupid things and that’s even more annoying.
You beat me to it by 14 minutes, Prof.
From what I’ve read, the death toll in Fort Meyers, which has suffered by far the most deaths, would have been far less had the city government not decided to not issue evacuation orders until far too late, a day later than all the surrounding areas. So who is “stupid”?
Wasn’t that because the hurricane changed course?
So I decided to get some non-Dope opinions. This morning, I asked the 6 guys I golfed with 3 questions:
-
Have you heard about people in Fla dying in the hurricane?
-All had -
How do you feel about people who died because they did not evacuate?
-I think nearly all said something like “I feel bad.” When I asked what that meant, they said things like, “I feel bad about anyone who dies, and I feel bad for those who cared for them.” Nearly every one quickly followed up, tho, with a comment such as, “They knew what they were getting into”, “The knew the risks they were taking”, “they chose to live there.” -
What words would you use to describe people who did not evacuate and died?
-Answers ranged all the way from “foolish” to “fucking idiots.”
The MOST sympathetic answers came from the guy whom I know is the most politically conservative among us.
No, not a wide/varied sample or anything, but the same way I find it interesting to seek opinions on the Dope, I also appreciate reminding myself that those opinions are not necessarily shared by those I spend the most time with.
Feel free to make whatever assumptions you wish about my golfing buddies. Heading out to lunch shortly with 2 other couples. If conversation wanes, I may seek 4 more opinions…
FOOOOUUURRRR! 
This could easily pass for satire.
This. I don’t care about someone skiing off a mountain in Nepal. I mean I feel bad for this person and their family in an abstract way, but it’s not something that really impacts my life at all. In fact, I didn’t even know how little I cared about this headline until Dinsdale brought it up.
Really the question Dinsdale is asking seems to be “why does he care so much about some random headline”.
Although, in all fairness to the OP, I occasionally get sucked into watching Facebook Reels. A significant portion of them seem to be people getting into violent confrontations for stupid reasons, instigating other people, acting in a dangerous or reckless manner, acting in a narcissistic or douchey manner, or just otherwise being “jerks”. It does leave me with a bit of a sensation of “look at these fucking A-holes”.
Well, they based their decision not to notify on that forecast but considering that the neighboring officials played it safe and told people to evacuate does say something.
I hate to admit it, but this is pretty damn funny.
Nobody’s saying you have to care! You could continue living life undisturbed if you like.
The point when you become a dick is when you start stomping around declaring that you don’t care and those people did it to themselves and you shouldn’t even have to see this stuff on the news, why back in my day we