More zero-tolerance BS in schools

Yeah. Meanwhile:
[tune=Clementine]
Build a bonfire, build a bonfire, put the teachers on the top,
Put the prefects in the middle, and burn the [censored] lot! [/tune]

And:
Glory, glory hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ruler,
So I bonked her on the bean with a rotten tangerine
And her teeth came marching out! (left, right)

Y’know, you have a point. I got up on my high horse of indignation and missed that little fact! These songs and acts are funny from little kids testing boundaries. But high schoolers really should be a bit more mature and aware that in this day too many distrubed students have turned their fantasies into reality.

No, no, no! It’s
On top of Old Smokey
All covered with with blood
I shot my poor teacher
With a .44 slug

I went to her funeral.
I went to her grave.
Some people threw flowers.
I threw a grenade.

The next day
She wasn’t quite dead
So I took a bazooka
And blew off her head.

Dug this up.

“School administrators also told Beth Anne Cox they would revoke her permissive transfer, which means she would not be able to return to the school next year. Her parents said they had requested she go there rather than North Gwinnett High School, which two of her older brothers attended. Another one of her brothers is now a senior at Peachtree Ridge.”

Sounds like the teacher has his reasons.

She would have been in 2nd grade when Columbine happened. Make of that what you will.

And:

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school.
We have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule.
We ransacked all the classrooms in the dirty rotten school.
And we don’t have to study anymore!

Chorus

Glory, glory hallelujah
Teacher hit me with a ruler
I opened up the door with a Colt 44
And there ain’t no teacher anymore

Christ on a cracker, did anyone actually read the article?

“On top of Ol’ Smokey, all covered with blood, I shot my poor teacher with a .44 slug.”

Back in my day (and I graduated from high school in 2003) you didn’t fucking tell your techers that you were going to shoot them with a .44 slug to their face and expect *not * to get suspended.

This disceplenary action is fine by me, the Cox’s can come up with whatever rationalizations for the fact that their daughter was out of line that they want.

And from that we immediately went into:

Eight days later, floatin’ down the Delaware,
Chewin’ on her underwear,
Couldn’t afford another pair!
Ten days later, eaten by a polar bear,
That’s why the polar bear died!

If the teacher’s version is indeed the correct one, I have no problem with suspending the little brat. If she’s the type of person who would get up in a teacher’s face and start singing that particular little tune, then 10 will get you 20 she’s been sporting a rude and disrespectful attitude all year.

If the kid’s version is the correct one then the teacher needs smacked. Somehow, though, I have a hard time believing this teacher has enough spare time and motivation to engage in a “vendetta” against one particular 16 year old. Whenever I hear a parent say, “Oh, the teacher has it in for my kid!” my first thought is usually, “Your kid’s a brat and you’re a moron.” Usually, though, in those cases I’ve met the kids and know for a fact the kid’s a brat; in this case I have no idea.

If that’s what she did.

That’s what the teacher said she did. Of course, Ms. Cox has her own rather unbeliveable story about how she was singing a tune and the teacher began to demand the lyrics, but between the teacher and kids I’ll give an edge to the teacher.

The version I knew was:
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school.
We have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule.
And tomorrow, after school we’re gonna hang the principal
His truth is marching on. (Why this line wasn’t changed I have no idea…)

Glory, glory hallejulah
Teacher hit me with a ruler
I met her after school with my loaded 44
And she ain’t my teacher any more

She didn’t tell her teacher any such thing, she was just singing one of the age old bits of anti-teacher doggeral verse that kids have sung since time immemorial. I sang that same song 30 years ago when I was a kid. Only a fucking moron would think it was a “threat.”

No no no. It’s:

And I believe the teacher that the kid did this. When Iwas a kid, you’d get suspended for that. Where do they get the idea you can address a teacher with anywhere near that kind of disrespect?

I literally would have been suspended in the third grade because I remember singing that exact same song in 1975 in the schoolyard (and it wasn’t new then- my brother and sister both knew it and they’re 6 & 7 years older than I am).

The daughter of a friend of mine wrote an entire book (of an academic rather than popular nature) on these songs and rhymes; the On Top of Ol’ Smokey one is the least of it. I guess Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts would get you arrested for championing vivisection- after all, kids who sing songs about cruelty to animals often grow up to sing songs about serial killers.

Or Weird Al’s It’s Christmas at Ground Zero ? “Schoolchildren arrested for nuclear terrorism ! !”

I think only a fucking moron would think this was at all funny in 9th grade. I thought I was a rube, and I was way past this crap by then. Shouldn’t she be smoking, or petting heavily at her age? Maybe someone should tell her that if she puts the car in neutral, her dad won’t hear her roll out of the driveway.

I’m not saying she shouldn’t be punished if things happened as the teacher described them. I just think that five days’ suspension and describing what she did as a “threat” is excessive. And I’m bemoaning post-Columbine paranoia, where a silly anti-teacher song can be taken seriously as a threat.

Not 9th grade, 11th grade. A 16 year old junior. 16 years old, as in old enough to usually be “tried as an adult.”

Of course, it is a public school. Could there be some social promotions? She might be an honest to goodness moron in the old-school psychological sense. Mental age of 8 to 12 sounds about right.

I can’t think of any more examples of songs sung in 4th grade. My funny bone might still be tickled by fart and poopoo humor, but I grew out of the “Met her at the door with a loaded .44 and she ain’t my teacher no more” by the time my odometer rolled over to two digits. At 16, my tastes for teacher disrespect ran more to the straight “Fuck you!” (I know. Very clever.)- which only drew detention for insubordination, not suspension/ expulsion for making a threat.

OK, now I understand why my sister homeschools instead of sending her kids to Northern Georgia schools. She told me she didn’t like them.

And the north-of-Boston-suburban version:

Glory, glory hallelujah
Teacher hit me with a ruler
Bopped her off the bean
With a rotten tangerine
The rats go marching on!

Hilarious for a grade-schooler. Definitely should’ve been outgrown by age 16.

(Although I still consider “Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts” a masterpiece.)