Today I was in the park and saw a squirrel get run over by a bike, she had enough in she to get back to her tree. By the time I reached her she was dead. I just sat there for ages, holding her. I don’t know why. I just kept holding her. I cried, and I thought about Wally, and the fact that people are so important and that people can affect you whether you know them or not, whether you actually talk to them or not. I cried for Amy. I cried for the loss of a father, husband, friend. I cried for my own dad who I wish I never had to lose. I cried because I know I will one day.
I must have looked like a complete crazy sitting in the park, holding a dead squirrel, crying over a fact that I have always know. I am not immortal. And neither are the people I love.
I just want to be able to remember every day that people are important, that what we do and say affects others, and if we have to die someday, let our living be worth it.
I didn’t mean to get so maudlin, sorry
Take care all of you
Rxxxx
I vowed to get pissed with people who apologize for sensible behavior when my father apologized for letting slip a sniffle and a single tear at my brother’s funeral. I’m not going to stop now. The world is improved by sensitive people. What you did was good. Quit apologizing.
But, God, I bet you looked dorky. And I’m glad the squirrel didn’t bite you. They have ENORMOUS teeth!
I didn’t know Wally too well…just his great posts. But I think the mental picture of a grown man(?) holding a squirrel and mourning it so deeply 'neath the shade of a tree might be something Wally would have found touching. Some of his funnier stories were about how he imagined other people thinking him a loony (the spiderweb anecdote?), so maybe your squirrel is more meaningful than you thought.
Maybe, though, I’m the loony. That’s entirely possible.
Whatever the case, you’re pretty cool to share that story with us. I’m guessing after a few months you’ll have some nasty nickname like ‘Squirrelboy.’
Anyway, it was sweet. Thanks.
struuter
The best way to live life is to never fear death, but know that it will touch you deeply throughout your life.
And also realise that when you cry for someone who has died, know that you are not crying for them, you’re crying for yourself, and how much of a void that person has left.
Wally’s passing has made me re-evaluate my life, too, and strangely enough, it pushed me out of a fairly deep depression. Instead of living each day wishing the pain would go away, I feel shocked into feeling alive somehow. I appreachiate life. Knowing how vulnerable my family is, knowing how easily and suddenly a man as young as Wally can go has really made me realise how much I love my parents, and how small my problems really are.
Wally made me laugh, he made me smile, he added to my day. I never sent him an e-mail, I never chatted with him on ICQ, I didn’t know him outside the scope of this board. But he has given me a gift that is so precious. He made me want to live my life again. Thanks, kiddo.
The name fooled me at first, too, but realidad is female. I won’t speculate on her age. Not that it matters to what you posted, just thought you’d want to know.
realidad and Slinging Rattles –
Thank you for sharing your personal feelings. I’ve been unable to post to the many Wally threads and haven’t understood why. I think your words helped me to understand a little better. I’m surprised at the depth of my sadness over the passing of someone I never met. I mean, this is all silliness, right? I guess not.
:slight hijack:
Yes pluto you are right, all female and all I am saying about age is mid 20’s ish. (realidad = reality in spanish)
Still I had to have looked wierd all 6 feet of me, sitting in the park, still with rollerblades on, cuddling a squirrel and wailing like a banshee.
Thanks you guys for not making me feel silly, you are right dropzone we should feel we are allowed to feel however we feel. Even if sometimes we don’t understand it ourselves.
I hope things work out Riddles and keep on wanting to live life.
I’ve been thinking about mortality a lot more since Wally died, too.
And the first thing I realized was, we only got to find out that Wally had died because somebody close to him (Amy, his daughter) was also a Doper. Imagine if he didn’t have any close real-life friends or relatives who knew he was an SDMB regular. We wouldn’t know he had died! All we would know is that one day, suddenly, he stopped posting. We wouldn’t know what had happened. We might even speculate that he stopped posting because he <cringe!> “got a life” – or at least had something happen in real life that got his complete attention and made him seriously re-prioritize his free time.
And the next thing I realized was, if I died, no one on SDMB would know it. I’m a regular on Great Debates, not MPSIMS, but even there on Great Debates all anyone would know was that I wasn’t posting anymore. They’d probably shrug, figure I’d lost interest in SDMB (if they even noticed my absence), and immediately move on.
And the third thing I realized was, “Hey, wait a minute – Wally had a bad fall at work. Amy said he was ‘drifting in and out of consciousness’. That sounds like head trauma. She also said they were hopeful he’d have a complete recovery. There was a show on PBS a little while ago about coma and head trauma that said that the conventional treatment used in a head-trauma case doesn’t monitor intracranial pressure, and that it’s crucial to monitor intracranial pressure and relieve this pressure if the patient is to have a good chance for survival. What if Wally died because of inadequate hospital care?!”
And the fourth thing I realized was that I’m hungry and would like some pepperoni pizza right about now.
That was lovely, Realidad, but squirrels can be rife with disease. As a rural kid, I was actively discouraged from touching wounded animals. Don’t take a risk like that again, please! We don’t want to lose another reg!
Rilchiam, do you think many people posting here would understand shooting a stray dog on sight because it was rabies season? Or because some dog has been taking calves or running deer and that MIGHT be it? I try not to get too romantic about animals I find outside, too. Especially wounded ones or ones that are acting odd or are out during daylight. Folks who grew up in the city don’t know about these things.
This squirrel may symbolize the death we will all experience, but the only reason I’d go near it would be to bash its skull and put it out of its misery. And I’d use a long stick–squirrels can really jump!
I’ve experienced, or rather encountered, death in many situations and circumstances. My Dad died when I was 14, and several cousins and relatives a bit further out in the branches of my family tree have also reached their ends in various ways over the past years. And more recently a very good friend of mine shuffled off this mortal coil.
One thing I have come to realise is that the deaths of those close to us shouldn’t slow us down, shouldn’t make us get too miserable, or cautious, or fearful of what is around the corner. But that doesn’t mean you should take every day seriously, or as though every breath counts, because that just gets too overbearing.
A wider awareness of life itself, a clearer picture of what life and death are and what it means to you and others, those are the things that I have gained the most from losing those people I love.
I agree with you Guanolad. I have also been through alot of death. I’ve lost both parents, a brother and quite a number of friends, especially in the past two years. One of the last things my mom said to me was “be happy”. I try to live life to the fullest. It doesn’t mean that I don’t miss them or love them any less. Some days the pain is unbearable, but I know that they wouldn’t want me to stop my life. I think, if anything, we learn and grow through the lives and deaths of people close to us.
The night my dad died, the four of us kids sat around the fire in my backyard and exchanged “dad” stories. We laughed, cried and altho we were exhausted, and dreading the onslaught of relatives who were coming in for the funeral, it was wonderful. It also brought the four of us closer together than we had been in many years.
All childhood angers are long behind us and we value each other much more than I ever would have thought. I realized that night that altho I am an “orphan”, my sisters and my brother are my family and I am blessed.
I didn’t realize my parents were ever going to die until I was 14 years old. I was walking to my desk in 8th grade english class, and ::BAM:: it hit me like a ton of bricks. My parents aren’t immortal? They’re going to die someday? I left the class and sat in the hallway and I cried for what seemed like forever. It’s a hard thing to realize when you’ve been blind about the issue for so long. Thankfully, neither have died as of yet. But everyday I make sure to tell my mom, “Hey I get (some object or another) when you die! I called it!!” And I really do say that just about every single time I see her. That way, she can change her will accordingly. I’ve always made very light the subject of death. That is, of course, until it happens to someone I know. Last April my very best friend in the world, Pam, died in a car accident. She was 17 years old. It surprised me that something so dark and cruel could happen to someone so young. And, of course, I cried. Hard. For a very long time and I’m still not, as I’m convinced I will never be, “over” her death. But then I thought, no one is immune to death. It’s going to happen. Still I wish it didn’t have to.
