Those awful Oedipal vampiric agents of Satan can go die under a giant flaming flyswatter.

why do you hate bats?

Mosquitos have always loved me. I never knew why until I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes.

Compared to White Socks and No-See-Ums they’re not that bad.

At least they respond to repellent. I still remember being in Quetico 33 years ago, with the black flies completely ignoring the thickly sprayed repellent and biting the every loving fuck out of me. We basically set up tents, got in them and said “fuck dinner, we’d rather starve than try to cook in these swarms!”

Tonight I sprayed some mosquito repellant on a mosquito. Now he’ll never have any friends.

I read that in Mitch Hedberg’s voice. :slight_smile:

What’s the worst kind of toe problem to have?


Would you believe I made that one up all by myself? Hooyah!

We moved to San Diego four years ago. I have not been bitten by a mosquito once in all of that time. It’s awesome.

Pshaw. I see your puny mosquitoes and raise you greenheads:

I wonder, if we manage to make mosquitoes extinct, won’t a new species fill the ecological niche? So there’s no point eliminating them?

Man, that’s cold.

Yeah, but it’s the sharks you need to concern yourself with in San Diego.

Especially as he moved from New Jersey… where the Jets play.

{{rhythmically snapping fingers}}

The niche of feeding on the blood of other species to breed? :dubious:

I’m thinking that would take quite a long time to evolve.

You are right to pit mosquitos. They are not just annoying – they are deadly. There was an article in the The New Yorker a couple of weeks ago about the latest mosquito abatement techniques. (You need to subscribe to read the whole article, I think.) One sentence stood out for me:

“Researchers estimate that mosquitos are responsible for half the deaths in human history.”

I think the second choice for the Wisconsin state bird, behind the robin, was the mosquito. At a place called West Spider Lake I once killed five of them with one swat of my right palm against my left forearm.

Apparently the pro-mosquito faction was overly optimistic during the selection process since I’ve seen their “Wisconsin state bird” tee shirts with a picture of a mosquito. Probably were selling at a discount.


Around here, we kill them with .410s.

Totally. Mosquitoes are jerks. WTF is their problem, anyway?

Ticks sit silently, watching… waiting… as the eons pass. Soon their bloodthirsty, winged competition will do themselves in by feeding so conspicuously on their prey. They are strong in numbers but too eagar to feed and weak-willed.

It’s only a matter of time before the Man-Apes wipe them out, they ponder, as their turgid, blood-swollen bodies drink deep the crimson life of their mammalian host.

Then, we will… swarm.