The English Patient (1996) came up in conversation today. Whenever I think of The World’s Most Boring Film, this one comes instantly to my mind.
When I watched it, I was like ‘Just die already!’
The only movie where I’ve ever fallen asleep while watching it in the theatre was “Eyes Without a Face”. I found “Eraserhead” to be pretty turgid, too.
Le Rayon Vert. Eric Rohmer. Good for insomnia problems. I managed the English Patient okay, maybe because I had already read the book and I like watching Ralph Fiennes.
My nomination is The Horse Whisperer. Incredibly slow-paced (and IMDB lists the run time at 2:49) – my wife and I saw it when it was originally in theaters, and I got so bored that I left and went outside.
Stalker. Russian film from 1979. 8.1 rating on IMDB with almost 95,000 votes.
It’s crap. Almost 3 hours of men walking and throwing a bean bag with a tail. Very little dialogue and most of it is painfully obscure, cringingly contrived or otherwise pointedly philosophical.
To this day I can’t believe that I sat thru the whole thing. No amount or combination of mushrooms, LSD, pot and/or crack can help this movie be interesting. In fact, watching it while on them sort of lessened their effectiveness and thus the movie cheated me out of my own drugs.
A wretched, boring movie; nothing good comes from watching it.
I vote for Terrence Malick’s “The New World.”
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Jacques Rivette’s four-hour-long La Belle Noiseuse is extraordinarily dull. Yeah, yeah, Emanuelle Beart spends much of the film with no clothes on, but it’s basically hours of watching someone slowly painting a portrait. Literally, paint drying.
Glen or Glenda
Cheyenne Autumn: Indians march, Indians die; repeat for three hours.
Wait, wait, changed my mind. It has to be Brown Bunny. Even the graphic blow job can’t save that turkey.
Giant.
Another vote for The English Patient and another one for The Horse Whisperer.
The other day, someone on this board suggested Curse of the Pink Panther. Not blaming him, but ultimate Dullsville, man!
Wavelength (1967) - From IMDB: “Wavelength is a structural film of a 45-minute long zoom in on a window over a period of a week.”
45 minutes that seem like hours with a escalating soundtrack of din that induces nausea.
The same director made* La région centrale* (1971), which I was fortunately spared: “Entirely shot using a robotized camera set on the top of a mountain in the Canadian wilderness - in winter. The camera was mounted on a mechanical arm that could move in any direction (even upside down). Using instructions recorded on magnetic tape, the filmakers could control the arm’s movement, creating short “routines” that had do be checked and programmed daily. During the entire movie the only sound heard are mechanical blips and electronic noises synchronized with the camera movement. In an interview, Michael Snow said that his aim to show the kind of images that an alien probe landed on Earth would report back home.”
3 fucking hours long!
I had the same impression the one time I watched Titanic, though my wish was “Just sink already!”.
I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House <------ Never watch this!
My Cousin Rachel
Star Trek: The Motion Picture. The uniforms were beige; it set the tone for everything else.
Andy Warhol’s Sleep. 5 hours and 20 minutes of a man sleeping.
the hotel new Hampshire its about a famiy that had its collective head up its ass so far that when the seen It coming from the first 15 minutes of the movie incest happened it didn’t have any emotional factor at all …
Agreed. There’s literally a scene about staring at the wall.
A tie between Emmanuelle and Oblomov, “the charming tale of a lazy but lovable aristocrat in 19th-century Russia.” Yawn!
I liked The English Patient. <shrug>
But I think Funny Girl is THE most boring movie ever made.