I forgot this story. It’s not so much embarassing as odd.
Last fall I would go to early football games in a bikini top. I figured “hey, if I’m going to be standing in the sun for 3+ hours, I may as well get something out of it.” At one game in particular, some obnoxious drunk guy in front of me (they’re a dime a dozen at Big Ten football games, of course), turns around and says to me “Nice tits.”
Pause.
“Oh, I thought you were a guy!”
Granted, I’m not the most well-endowed woman on the planet, but I doubt many men have man-boobs that are around a B-cup (and if they did, they’d probably be carrying weight in other places, too).
both are coutesey my chem. teacher:
after i told him i didnt spend the night at home: "wow! you must have some boyfriend!
after i bought him a turnover before one of my very long tutoring sessions with him: “wow! you really know how to influence your grade, and legally too”
I might have died if i wasnt sure that he was joking!!!
I get mistaken for a woman all the time – long red hair, clean-shaven, kinda-soft features. I can’t count the number of times that I’ve been exiting a public bathroom, and some guy is coming in, and he sees me and goes all gogglefaced and closes the door real quick, and then double-checks the sign on the door, and then opens it back up cautiously and looks at me again…
Normally I just give them a wry grin. Occasionally I’ll say, “You got it right.”
But then there was the time I was at a club, and some guy saw me going into the bathroom, and as a public service he followed me into the bathroom and knocked on the door of the stall to tell me it was the men’s room. I think I eventually had to open the door and look him in the face to convince him that I knew how boy/girl bathrooms worked.
I was on the El one morning frantically trying to finish reading 3 or 4 sonnets that I was going to use as the basis of discussion for my honors’ English class[SUB] hey, I procrastinate, o.k.[/sub] A young man sat beside me and started a conversation.I explained that 1) I was already taken and 2) I really needed to concentrate. He followed me from my stop to the campus library and when I refused to give him my phone number, he screamed out in front of a whole group of students: “You’re having my baby and you won’t even give me your number!”
I fled to the bathroom and didn’t come out until it was time for class.
In high school, I was invited to a party, but ended up not being able to go because I was sick. The next day, the host of the party - B - told me that a friend of his from a different high school - E - was there and that he had asked about me because E and I were friends in elementary school. B also said that E asked if he had our school’s phone directory, so B gave me E’s phone number and said I should call him. So the next day I gave E a call. He sounded surprised to hear from me and we had a pleasant but awkward 30 minute conversation. The next day in school, B apologetically informs me that he spoke with E, and that E had actually inquired about his access to the phone directory because he wanted the number of my best friend who had been at the party!
easy e, do you think maybe he was drawing your attention to someone else’s chest under the misapprehension that you were another guy (like “Har har! Check HER out!”), but that when he actually looked at you, he realized you weren’t another guy after all? If not, that’s definitely bizarre!
My story: My boyfriend (now husband) and I were hanging out a male friend’s apartment watching tv and drinking beer when his roommate came in with this woman we hadn’t met before. He made introductions and then we all sat around talking for a while. She was a “Tee hee! Math is hard!” type, and at some point she said, all flirty-like, “Oh, but Roommate, you have to give me the [can’t remember – good chair? last Sam Adams before we have to start on the Rolling Rock? something like that] because I’m the only girl here.” THE ONLY GIRL HERE! There’s pretty much no way on earth that she could have honestly mistaken me for a guy, but when her attention was drawn to my existence, she was dismissive, like “oh, but SHE doesn’t count.”
My youngest sister had been friends with a boy on our street for years - nothing romantic - just best buds. One day the two of them went to the mall with my next-youngest sister. They were going up an escalator in the middle of the mall - both girls were halfway up, and the boy had stayed behind. Suddenly, he called out “Stop that girl - she stole my heart!!”
Youngest sis cracked up, next-youngest was mortified. I wish I’d been there…
