I was never sure when my mother was likely to embarass me. She was paranoid and delusional for most of my teens. Totally convinced that Dad was trying to kill her by sneaking poison into table salt. And that he was having numerous affairs and stashing the resulting bastards with family members to be raised as their own children. (Dad’s side of the family was catholic and very prolific).
When I got married my mother-in-law used to think that Mom was a stitch. She had such a great sense of humour. Actually, she was disassociated from reality.
Mom has since been diagnosed with thyroid problems and a few other things that can result in delusional behavior. She’s medicated and as normal as she’s going to get. But various family members are convinced that Dad had been running around for years.
And I have, on at least one occassion heard Mom and Dad joking about the old days, “back when I thought you were trying to kill me.”
I can relate to you when you say that you consider others lucky to have parents who are capable of doing embarrassing things.
My dad is a real goofball and everyone loves him for his goofiness and humor. However, when I was younger, his actions usually embarrassed me. I didn’t like him drawing attention to himself like that. Also the fact that he was so old got to me. People always thought that he was my grandpa. (I’m 18; he’s 60)
Anyway, when I was 14, I looked outside before going out to the bus only to realize that it was pouring out (we have a long driveway). I started to open the door but Dad yelled at me to wait a minute. He then walked out with my 13 year-old brother and I, wearing his pajamas, a jacket, his hair a mess, carrying an umbrella over us. Being teenagers, we were incredibly embarrassed and protested loudly the entire way up the driveway, him yelling back. Everyone saw us huddled on the end of the road with our umbrella and dad…how terrible!
I entered the bus and sat down by my friend who was soaked to the skin. I complained about my dad only to have my friend say, “Well, you should be lucky your dad does that for you.” And y’know, he was right.
Dad’s had cancer now since the summer of 1999 and has been dying. He has not been outside since Christmas. He just lies around in his bed all day because that’s all he can do…he’s so tired. I would give anything for him to be able to mortify me now. Heck, he could walk out with me every morning to the bus with an umbrella, even if it wasn’t raining, and I’d be happy.
I have a long list of things my mom does to embarass me. She flirts with Muffinman, and that just really creeps me out. Or maybe it’s that he flirs back that does it. Whichever. She wears some of those hideous clothes they make for ‘bigger women’. We’re talking neon pink, moo moos, the whole nine yards. I have to hide a lot of her clothes in fear that she’ll wer them in public. Right now, she has this old Chicago Bulls starter jacket that used to be my little sister’s. She wears it with everything. Dreses, shorts, whenever it’s cold, the jacket is always around.
Right now, the most embarassing thing I can think of happened last night. An ex boyfriend of mine came home with me after work, we were hanging out, watching movies, just chilling. After making out on the couch for awhile, it was close to 5 am before we were even remotely ready to sleep. I didn’t feel like driving him home (we took my car from work), so I told him he could just crash on the couch. I didn’t warn my mom, because I didn’t want to wake her up. 6 o’clock comes around, and my mom wakes up. Sometimes since it’s just girls in the house, she’ll walk around in underwear, or even naked. We’re all usually asleep anyways. She strolls out of her room, wearing a tshirt that didn’t cover much of anything, and no underwear. She walks into the living room, sees Scott, and screams. He wakes up, screams. (i’m not sure if it was because she was screaming, or because of the sight.)I come running into the living room, see my mom half naked, and my ex boyfriend laying there in shock. I couldn’t decide whether to laugh or to cry
I just laughed. But I’m sure once he recovers from the sight, I’ll never live this down.
Did I read this right? I had to take a double take. Muffinman is your current boyfriend, right? And yet last night you were making out with your ex boyfriend on the couch. Does Muffinman know this? That’s terrible.
That’s terrible.