Pensandfeathers’s compliment from her high school science teacher reminded me of one from my Anatomy & Physiology professor a year ago:
“When I’m lecturing I mostly see blank stares. But I can tell by your face and the questions you ask that you get it.”
Back in college I submitted a play I’d written to an acting class. I sat in the back while they read it. I could very clearly hear each and every clunker of a bad line, every poorly-chosen phrase. I put my head down and began scribbling notes of what to change (there’s nothing like a live reading to make one’s problems obvious. But they’re obvious to everyone) At the end of the reading, I was frazzled and red-faced, certain that I was about to be laughed out of the room.
I looked up to see everyone looking back at me.
And the spontaneously broke into applause.
One of the best moments in my life.
When the Mrs. and I were first married, we were in Cambria, CA browsing through some antique shops. I found a pristine 1st edition revised (1st printing) copy of Lord of the Rings. At the time, it would have been the most expensive set in my Tolkien collection. Anyways, it was $100 and we couldn’t afford it. Then she says:
“Great men have great collections.” and went and bought it.
Whoowee I love that woman.
One that springs to mind: I went to see Booker T and the MG’s in DC a few years ago with some friends of mine. Now, Steve Cropper is one of my all-time favorite guitarists. I’ve always wanted to play like him, so I took the opportunity to study him and his style very closely. At the end of the show, my friend’s girlfriend leaned up to me and said, “I’ve always thought that was a cliche until now. I’ve never seen anything like that before.” When I expressed my confusion, she said, “Whenever he (Cropper) started to play, it was obvious that he was going someplace else, and it was just as obvious that you went with him.”
That felt really good.
I was fixing something, I can’t remember what, and my girlfriend at the time was watching me. It seems like it was on a boat motor or something like that, or a car at the side of the road. I think we were sort of stranded, but anyway, I didn’t have the right tool for the job and I improvised somehow and made it work. She said, “You are just like my Grandfather.”
I asked her what she meant and she said that her Grandfather had been mechanically creative, and was always able to just use whatever was at hand to do what needed to be done. She said she had noticed the same thing in me numerous times. Over the years as I am puttering around, I now see this in myself as I am doing it; I never valued, or even noticed it until she said something. Thanks Tamara.
i got what i thought was a really nice compliment this weekend.
we’ve just moved our horses to a new stable within the last month because our current one was closing. my mom lives in Florida and has a friend who’s been helping her with her current search for a new horse. he apparently goes around the country to participate in trail rides and such, and has plans to come visit his son (who lives in the general area i do), bringing his horse with him. Mom asked me if i could check around and see if there were any boarding facilities that would be willing to rent him space for just a month.
i asked one of the owners at our new barn if they had any stalls available that they might be willing to rent to the gentlemen, and explained the general scenario. the owner pondered it a bit, then basically said, “Well, if he’s like you folks, I don’t see any problem with it.” i was tickled to death that he seemed to be saying that he considered us responsible and reliable horsepeople, even though we’ve only been there such a short time.
About two years ago, I found myself on a date with a woman I had admired from afar, both physically and mentally. Never thought I would be there, because not only did she have an air of inaccessibility, she also had a girlfriend.
I must have done something right at dinner, because (an I know htis because I later dated the other half of the double-date largely on the strength of this) she giggled like a schoolgirl in the bathroom and the level of sexual tension ratcheted up all throughout dinner and coffee. We ended up in bed, and I ended up, (checks forum, chooses words carefully) forehead-to-navel with her.
Long story short, she hauls me eye-to-eye and gasps, “are you SURE you’re not a lesbian?”
If you want to know why I’m so quietly confident around women, that is the exact reason.
One of the supervisors at my office told me her predecessor advised her that if she ever had a particularly complex problem, she should come in and talk to me for 20 minutes.
The nice part was, I had never worked directly with her predecessor, who recommended me based only on what she had seen me do with other people.
About ten years ago, my mother and I were in Maui, and signed up for a guided tour. Turns out we were the only two on the bus, so the driver said, “How about I skip the regular tour and take you to see some of my favorite places that aren’t on the tours?” We figured if we were going to be raped and killed, we might as well get a good ride out of it, so said, “Sure!”
He took us to every odd little corner of Maui, including his family’s cemetery, a painted eucalyptus grove, other places I can’t remember, and told us, “You ladies aren’t ‘tourists,’ you’re travelers.”
There are two, tied.
“We would like to make an offer on your book,” was pretty freaking sweet.
The other was a conversation I had recently with one of my lit profs. We were talking about the Sr Exam, the final requirement to get the English degree, and he said “Yeah, some people only write a 1/2 page for their essays.” I expressed shock, because I needed at least 5 pages–and I would have done more, but my hand cramped and we only had 4 hours for 4 essasys. He said
“That’s because you are a clear and careful thinker, and you really don’t belong here. But you’ll be moving on (to grad school) soon.” It meant a lot coming from him. He’s not one for compliments and usually he’s kind of mean.
“You’re funny.”
Essentially anytime I can make someone laugh, I take that as a compliment.
Right on these boards, from the lady Eve.
On an overnight trip with a bunch of fellow campers, and there had been a horrible thunderstorm–directly over the campsite!–the night before. Crashing roars of thunder, flashes of lightning, howling of wind… it was like the sky had become demon-possessed.
I hate thunderstorms when I’m not safe inside a building, and apparently a tent doesn’t count. I cowered in fear the whole night, staying awake, shaking and wide-eyed as everyone dozed comfortably on.
The morning after, it rained drearily as we slogged through the muddy campsite, picking up lost shoes and dousing camp fires. I apologized to my tent leader for being so scaredy-cat the night before, and she said:
“It’s okay, you’re not really like that–you’re so cheerful and sweet and happy all the time. Some random tornado could come and pick you up and put you in the middle of the Sahara Desert and you’d still be smiling and saying ‘hi’ to everybody.”
I never forgot that.
I don’t care much about my looks, so it is interesting that the compliments that have struck me the most are about them.
Once on a flight to south Texas, I sat next to an older Australian in town to market wine. Since I work for a defense contractor, and the two of us were about as gay as a state funeral, he had no reason to bs me. He just said, “You look like the young Clint Eastwood.” (I’ve been told that by a coworker, and one or two others, but it meant more from a complete stranger. Of course, it would mean more if women ever said it.)
When I was a graduate student, I had a student walk up to me and say “I’m so glad you look normal. My last TA looked like an axe murderer.” Ok, not a great compliment, but how can you forget it?
Oops, I forgot the one that made a difference. A man I knew, respected, and admired (he died a few years back) as something of a father figure told his wife, and she forwarded it to me: “He’s the best father I’ve ever seen.”
This one will stick in my mind…
My mother sent me a birthday card. She put the Audrey Hepburn stamp on it.
My son, age five, looked at the stamp and said “look, Grandma put your picture on the envelope!”
I still have that envelope.
While training some new personnel in a strange town I had to pull some ideas out of my arse to get the job done. Some of the methods I employed were anything but ordinary, yet I viewed myself as being resourceful, not outstanding. Apparently my trainees thought differently and related their feelings to the local manager, who spoke to my manager in Philly. The story had spread through the office prior to my return, such that I was surprised to have others calling me “McGyver” when I returned to the home base.
What’s wrong with using a slingshot, mason’s line, and a big hex nut to pull video cable?
Care to give more details? You’ve got me interested.
The magazine is called Hittin’ the Note, it’s mostly devoted to Southern music. And you can buy it in your local Barnes and Noble. I hope I’m allowed to say that. 
It just got picked up in time for this issue, actually.
The story is about the Derek Trucks Band. I’ll explain or drop you an e-mail about them if you don’t know who they are, which is not particularly unlikely. That they do a jazz, blues, world music kind of thing (there’s an Indian classical influence in particular). Derek is 25 and a jaw-dropping guitar player. He’s been out there touring since he was about 11, so there have been a lot of “look how young this slide guitar player is” articles, and there have been a lot of profiles of him. Which is fair, it’s his band and he’s a very smart, deep guy. But I interviewed all five of them and got all of their personalities in there, and instead of just doing the Derek-centric thing I tried to show how these guys together make up the group, how their backgrounds are a factor, that kind of thing. There are some descriptions of their concerts in there too. The reason I wanted to do this piece was that I felt I was in a unique position to understand the band, since Derek and I are about the same age.
The compliment actually got better this evening. I was told tonight that the singer got my cell phone number from my father and said he was going to call me and tell me about their reactions to the piece. I haven’t gotten the call yet, but apparently they all read it and discussed it for 20 minutes or so, and had what my father described as a “mushy moment” over it. I’m touched by that, but also very anxious to hear what the guy actually has to say.
I’m one of those people who can’t take a compliment well and generally assume others are being patronizing or else have low expectations, but there’s one I had recently that meant a lot to me.
When I put in my resignation at the college where I worked in Georgia, a supervisor advised me that “You’ve been really open about being gay here, and since this is small campus in a small town it’s been no problem. But you’re going to a much larger place and a much more bureaucratic college… I won’t say you should be closeted, but you should be a lot more… non-open about it.” A couple of friends gave me similar advice, so I thought of basically becoming the “confirmed bachelor” in the new workplace, not denying it but not volunteering anything either (i.e. if asked “did you go anywhere this weekend?” and the answer is “Yes, I had a date in Birmingham with a guy I’m seeing” then just answer “Went to B’ham”, or if asked “Do you like Jude Law?” then just responding “I like some of his movies” without adding “especially the ones in which he’s nude”).
A few nights before I left I went out with a bunch of other library faculty, staff and student workers. This wasn’t my going away party but several were hugging me and saying goodbye as semester was almost over and I was leaving at the end and they didn’t know if they’d see me again or not.
One of the student-workers was a bright and cute (though not my type) Jesus-hobbit looking computer nerd (totally straight if you’re wondering) whom I’d had some passing discussions with about current events and other what-not. He’d held a conservative viewpoint and we’d playfully crossed swords, never anything in depth or heated, but even though speaking in jest I had bested him a couple of times on topics. As he was leaving the restaurant that night he put his arm around me (there’d never been any type of "guy stuff’ like that before) and said “You know, I am really really going to miss you. It’s for two reasons. The first is that you are so unapologetically yourself— you are who you are. And the second is that who you are is pretty fucking cool. I grew up in a really religious house and you singlehandedly opened my eyes on gay people and a bunch of other stuff, and the way you can connect A to Z by using V is brilliant. Keep it up wherever you go.”
Really touched me, can’t say why. That weekend I bought a rainbow flag attachment for my keychain and I carry it at my current job.