Cecil Retires
Hmmm… the soviets had designed the ultimate bomb. It was a gigantic boat, that would go off when the ambient radiation level reached a certain point unless a countermand order was given.
the thought was, that if nobody gave the order, it meant the Sov Union had lost a nuclear exchange. then the bomb, which was said to be the largest one ever created, would go off, taking out several cubic miles of water and creating a radiation plume that would wipe out the rest of us.
Or, barring that:
I have seen/touched a prolapsed Uterus. look it up. Ig.