Most Ignorant Thing You've Ever Heard

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
381

Redefining FALSE in ‘C’? That was almost in the programming standards at a place I used to work. The contractor who drew up the standards stipulated that every program should define BFALSE and BTRUE and use those instead “in case we port to another platform where TRUE and FALSE are different”. And yes, he switched the 0/1 values.

Guess who got to take over all that code when the guy’s contract finished? :smack:

Dumb teachers:

My O-level (that’s 14-16 years old) Physics teacher was telling us all how a vacuum flask worked, and drew on the board a cutaway showing the vacuum between the inner glass skin (“the bit you can see when you look into the neck”) and the outer plastic shell.

I put my hand up, and pointed out that there are two glass skins inside, with the vacuum between them, and that the plastic outer part only serves as protection. He didn’t believe me. I had a flask of coffee with me, so I picked it up and pointed out that you can unscrew the bottom part of the outer case in order to replace the inner vacuum part if it got broken. I started taking the bottom off.

“Don’t do that!” he said, alarmed, “you’ll let all the vacuum out!”

Yes, he was actually a Physics teacher - that was his field.

382

[QUOTE=zelie zelerton]
In high school I had a teacher who could not get her head round the difference between ‘mammal’ and ‘animal’. … No matter how many times I tried to explain it to her, she could not get that reptiles, fish, birds etc were also animals. According to her an animal had fur and live young. :rolleyes:
[/QUOTE]

With respect there are several different definitions of the word “animal” and the one she was using is a correct one. See definition #3 here. Your definition is also correct, but not the only correct one.

383

[QUOTE=Peter Morris]
With respect there are several different definitions of the word “animal” and the one she was using is a correct one. See definition #3 here. Your definition is also correct, but not the only correct one.
[/QUOTE]

That’s an archaic definition and should be marked as such. Hardly any modern speakers use “animal” in place of “mammal”, at least none that I’ve ever heard of.

384

[QUOTE=Barrington]
Redefining FALSE in ‘C’? That was almost in the programming standards at a place I used to work. The contractor who drew up the standards stipulated that every program should define BFALSE and BTRUE and use those instead “in case we port to another platform where TRUE and FALSE are different”. And yes, he switched the 0/1 values.
[/QUOTE]
In VB, FALSE is zero, but TRUE is -1. This doesn’t trip anyone up as long as they use it in strictly boolean evaluations, but sometimes they don’t - for example, rather than doing something like:
If taxable then
itemprice = itemprice + (itemprice*taxrate)
EndIf

I’ve seen:
itemprice = itemprice + ((itemprice*taxrate)*taxable)

The idea being that if ‘taxable’ is FALSE (zero), the added tax component will be multiplied by zero and therefore not added on, but if TRUE is equivalent to -1, then the tax gets deducted, rather than added on where appropriate.

Of course it’s sloppy coding, and probably not all that much to do with what you’re talking about.

385

[QUOTE=Barrington]
Dumb teachers:

My O-level (that’s 14-16 years old) Physics teacher was telling us all how a vacuum flask worked, and drew on the board a cutaway showing the vacuum between the inner glass skin (“the bit you can see when you look into the neck”) and the outer plastic shell.

I put my hand up, and pointed out that there are two glass skins inside, with the vacuum between them, and that the plastic outer part only serves as protection. He didn’t believe me. I had a flask of coffee with me, so I picked it up and pointed out that you can unscrew the bottom part of the outer case in order to replace the inner vacuum part if it got broken. I started taking the bottom off.

“Don’t do that!” he said, alarmed, “you’ll let all the vacuum out!”

Yes, he was actually a Physics teacher - that was his field.
[/QUOTE]

Perhaps you should have unscrewed the top of his head and let all the ignorance out.

386

[QUOTE=Mangetout]
In VB, FALSE is zero, but TRUE is -1. This doesn’t trip anyone up as long as they use it in strictly boolean evaluations, but sometimes they don’t - for example, rather than doing something like:
If taxable then
itemprice = itemprice + (itemprice*taxrate)
EndIf

I’ve seen:
itemprice = itemprice + ((itemprice*taxrate)*taxable)

The idea being that if ‘taxable’ is FALSE (zero), the added tax component will be multiplied by zero and therefore not added on, but if TRUE is equivalent to -1, then the tax gets deducted, rather than added on where appropriate.

Of course it’s sloppy coding, and probably not all that much to do with what you’re talking about.
[/QUOTE]
It’s not just sloppy, it’s inefficient too, at least in that example - although sometimes a marginal increase in efficiency can be achieved by techniques like that.

In the commercial applications I worked on (in the capacity of being the guy in charge of a team’s programming standards), things like that were verboten on the grounds of readability. Since the applications were basically doing data-processing kind of stuff, CPU performance wasn’t really an issue. Ease of maintenance certainly was, and anyone coding as in your second example would be told to rewrite in the manner of your first. It did happen, too - usually a case of a coder trying to show off and be “clever”, and usually someone with a ‘C’ background (most of our stuff was written in an obscure 4GL).

Having said that, I’ve also worked on more CPU-performance-critical stuff (in VB, ironically!) and have had occasion from time to time to resort to trickery like that in order to optimise a bottleneck. With copious commenting, of course, even though these were personal projects, in my role as a one-man band.

Oh, and having said that too, it’s just occurred to me that I did do tricks like that in the commercial/team role, but only in Bourne shell scripting, back in the days when this was sometimes a significant bottleneck. I’ve been trying to think of an example, but it’s been too long. Something about trying to do as much as possible with built-in commands to avoid forking. Happy days.

[QUOTE=Malacandra]
Perhaps you should have unscrewed the top of his head and let all the ignorance out.
[/QUOTE]
Heh! Funny thing - he was actually a very good teacher generally, and made studying physics enjoyable.

387

[QUOTE=DiggitCamara]
I remember how a nun, during some Bible classes, told us all about the stars being small lights in the sky and whatnot.

Trouble was, I’d just read all kinds of stuff about the stars being light-years away and ginormous suns to boot. I was flabbergasted and didn’t hide it.

She was sweet and nice, but honestly not the best person left to explain religion to a bunch of 8-year-olds.
[/QUOTE]

Glad you had a sweet and nice one. I dared to question the nun teaching Suday School regarding Noah’s Ark. After pestering her about all of the animals and getting the same reply ("Two by two!) I just flatly stated, “I don’t believe it!” Her eyes bugged out, her face went red, and she marched down the aisle in silent fury. Grabbed me by the ear, hauled me out side and slammed the door shut on me. I stood there crying until my parents came to pick me up. I never had to go to Sunday School again!

388

Among many that I can think of off the top of my head, a friend of mine recently referenced the SIX colors of the rainbow, and subsequently claimed that underwear was ONLY made in those six colors, despite the fact that she was currently wearing PINK underwear…

praise the internet! you don’t even have to GO to NY anymore to find hundreds of stupid things people say in NY every day

www overheardinnewyork com (should be worksafe 'cept for maybe a couple of curse words)
quite a repository of mind-numbing stupidity.

389

[QUOTE=enigm4tic]
praise the internet! you don’t even have to GO to NY anymore to find hundreds of stupid things people say in NY every day

www overheardinnewyork com (should be worksafe 'cept for maybe a couple of curse words)
quite a repository of mind-numbing stupidity.
[/QUOTE]

Nice, but my point is that you could probably find an equal number of idiots in Sydney, London, Berlin, Shanghai or Paris as in New York if you were out to make a bigoted point on TV.

390

[QUOTE=fetus]
Nice, but my point is that you could probably find an equal number of idiots in Sydney, London, Berlin, Shanghai or Paris as in New York if you were out to make a bigoted point on TV.
[/QUOTE]

I agree . As I pointed out on another thread, a recent BBC financial programme found some disturbing facts about people’s financial ignorance. There were some who thought that the higher the APR on a loan , the better it was for you. And 50% of the UK population don’t know what 50% means.

391

[QUOTE=fetus]
Nice, but my point is that you could probably find an equal number of idiots in Sydney, London, Berlin, Shanghai or Paris as in New York if you were out to make a bigoted point on TV.
[/QUOTE]

Overheard in Sydney
Overheard in London

Nothing for Berlin, Shanghai or Paris yet – the Overheard network likely caters primarily to English-dominant regions. There are lots of other “Overheard…” sites though. Toronto (LJ), Ireland, and The UK at large are good spots for all manner of human stupidity, to name a few others.

392

[QUOTE=Der Trihs]
I’m not sure if this is ignorant or just stupidity, but I and others on a sci-fi forum got into an argument with a poster who was complaining about the character Honor Harrington; his contention was that no woman could win a fight with a man under any circumstances.

My and the other posters reaction boiled down to “Dude ! She’s a genetically engineered heavy worlder with enhanced strength, speed and reflexes, decades of training and a gun built into her artificial hand !”

His response : “Doesn’t matter, a woman can’t win a fight with a man.”
[/QUOTE]

Female 6 footer against male midget. Who wins?

393

I was in Yellowstone Park with my parents about 7 or 8 years ago, and we stopped at a turnout where people were photographing a female elk with her calves. When the calves started running around and chasing eachother, a lady standing nearby exclaimed to her family:

“Look! they’re practicing hunting skills!”

394

I haven’t read this thread, but I’m pretty sure my story is unique. I was talking with a guy (who should have an honorary position in the fucking moron club) about hydrogen fuel cell cars. We were talking about the hydrogen possibly being created by breaking water down into hydrogen and oxygen (I’m not sure wether or not it’s feasible to be honest). He said that doing that would be a bad idea. When I asked him why that was, he said something along the lines of “all those cars would use up all the water in the ocean”. Yes, he actually said that. I decided not to continue with the conversation.

395

[QUOTE=Secret Volcano Lair]
I was in Yellowstone Park with my parents about 7 or 8 years ago, and we stopped at a turnout where people were photographing a female elk with her calves. When the calves started running around and chasing eachother, a lady standing nearby exclaimed to her family:

“Look! they’re practicing hunting skills!”
[/QUOTE]

available light and I were driving through Banff on our honeymoon. There was a clearing by the side of the road and a bunch of people standing around taking pictures. When I got closer, I saw that the object of their attention was a bear cub, and it was pretty damn close to the crowd. I stopped at the nearest ranger station so they could warn off the morons before Mama Bear showed up and killed everybody.

396

[QUOTE=sturmhauke]
available light and I were driving through Banff on our honeymoon. There was a clearing by the side of the road and a bunch of people standing around taking pictures. When I got closer, I saw that the object of their attention was a bear cub, and it was pretty damn close to the crowd. I stopped at the nearest ranger station so they could warn off the morons before Mama Bear showed up and killed everybody.
[/QUOTE]

Its pretty amazing how close some people get to the animals, particularly the bison, even though everyone is handed this rather amusing warning at the park entrance. Its like people don’t even consider the animals inside to be wild.

397

[QUOTE=Lissa]
“If monkeys could turn into people a million years ago, why don’t you see monkeys turning into people today?” This was said to me in a triumphant tone of voice by a Creationist. I can only hope that my flabberghasted silence wasn’t taken by him as an indication that I had no rebuttal, but I know that it probably was. I was deeply, deeply impressed by the amount of ignorance such a comment indicates. You really have to work at it to be that stupid.
[/QUOTE]
It’s not stupid, it’s willful ignorance. My parents went to MIT and Washington U (St. Louis), and I believed this little tripe as a kid. I can’t defend the using of the argument, but there’s a difference between stupid and “has a problem in defending his/her position”, although I can still get pretty mad about it.

398

[QUOTE=dnooman]
I haven’t read this thread, but I’m pretty sure my story is unique. I was talking with a guy (who should have an honorary position in the fucking moron club) about hydrogen fuel cell cars. We were talking about the hydrogen possibly being created by breaking water down into hydrogen and oxygen (I’m not sure wether or not it’s feasible to be honest).
[/QUOTE]

Yes, it’s possible by electrolysis. You’d need

  • a local power source (waterfall, wind, solar)
  • two very big and very special electrodes
  • and of course, a way to capture the hydrogen and oxygen

When we talked about this in inorganic chemistry class (1989, science has advanced a bit since then but the principles are the same), one of the “points of interest” the teacher mentioned is that what you’d get back when you burn the hydrogen is… distilled water.

399

[QUOTE=Secret Volcano Lair]
Its pretty amazing how close some people get to the animals, particularly the bison, even though everyone is handed this rather amusing warning at the park entrance. Its like people don’t even consider the animals inside to be wild.
[/QUOTE]

We have the same problem with Sanfermines…
“but izza cow”
“it’s not a COW, it’s a BULL. And it’s scared. And pissed. And wants to go home. And you’re in the way. And anyway the cows are more dangerous cos they run more than once but I’m not going to try and explain that.”
“izza… cow…” (drunk idiot tries to get into the encierro and if San Fermín was paying attention gets stopped before getting himself killed)

400

[QUOTE=olivesmarch4th]
I would have sat, laughing. It’s an absolutely comical, almost seemingly parodic episode, one of those things you view as random and unrelated to reality. Years from now you will be sitting down thinking, “Wait, did that really happen? No. No way, how absurd! Clearly just a product of random misfirings in my brain’s synapses.”
[/QUOTE]

To me, it seems like it would be a great joke to use in The Office. Replace ignorant co-worker with Steve Carrell’s character, and replace black woman coworker with Stanley (the old, black, guy.)