I’ve spoken to enough people and heard enough cookie-cutter stock opinions to realize that most people suffer from political retardation. I’m not talking about ideology, there will always be a wide variety of political views that range all over the crazy scale, I’m down with that. I’m not even talking about an ignorance of the basics of government structure (although that is certainly a problem). I’m talking about a much more pervasive set of shared cultural beliefs that blind people to even the most basic understanding of political science. This retarded political delusion is actually so devoid of logic that I sometimes wonder how we’ve accomplished anything politically in the country.
Let’s start with the most basic retarded view, this is the one that all other retarded opinions are built on. Congress sucks. Politics is a bad business. Politicians are out to screw over the common people. You know the drill. Here are a few of the assumptions that comprise this worldview.
-Politicians will lie to get in office. They are motivated by greed over the well being of the people.
- Politicians lack the “common sense” that the salt of the earth types have. If only politicians would just listen to the people then things would be better
Both of these ideas are so commonly understood that it is a wonder nobody ever thinks to realize that they flatly contradict each other. If politicians are bad, the people are smart and good, and the bad politicians keep getting reelected (by the people presumably), then are the people really all that smart and good? Wouldn’t that mean that the ones with all the common sense are continually being duped?
Let’s try this again. If politicians are so manipulative and crafty that they say whatever stupid shit that will get them elected , then that is the stupid shit people want to hear. Then are not the people themselves responsible for wanting to hear such stupid shit?
Furthermore, why doesn’t one of the retards just run for office themselves and blow Washington’s mind with how this common sense thing is done? Oh right, the awesome common people would be too wooed by the bad politicians to elect the obvious correct choice. Guess the people actually suck.
There is a reason these political retards can’t connect those very simple dots. This macro worldview falls apart if you analyze its components, but it only exists to provide comfort to the retard. Whenever someone feels that they don’t have complete control over their lives, it is just easier to blame a perceived status quo for it. The reasonable response would be to try to identify the policies and individuals that are the source of your problems and exercise your political power accordingly, but why even bother to think that much? You can just assure yourself that you are actually smart and worthy but you are being held back by something much bigger, additionally it is easy to establish a sense of community with similarly insecure retards, instant self efficacy!
Since the delusion is built for this very specific purpose, it has built in protection from logic. Take a look at a few more of the natural assumptions of political retardedness.
-
Politicians are bad for just following the polls. They will do or say whatever they can to stay in power.
-
Politicians are bad for ignoring the will of the people are voting in ways they don’t agree with
You’d be surprised how often I hear both of these at the same time. You see the retards are armed with conventional wisdom to cover all situations. If the politician does what the people want then they are just being poll chasing opportunists determined to maintain their power, if they vote the other way then they are flagrantly ignoring the will of the people. Politicians bad, people good!
The truth is apparently a little too complicated for most people and not nearly as comforting. The American system is actually very well set up, but politics is the flawed tool of a very flawed people. Sometimes politicians are interested mostly in power, but mostly they are people who have a view of the best way to do things. In order to get elected and actually be able to do something about it they have to do stupid pandering shit because people are stupid and like to be pandered to. Luckily this is a representative democratic system, so even the ones aiming for power must act in a way that is pleasing enough to their constituents so as to stay in power. If our representatives suck it’s because we do. Also, people holding public office are usually more intelligent than average, believe it or not.
Another thing that most people seriously misunderstand is the party system. They see two options and feel like that is very limiting, this is because they’re retarded. Our parties are of course broad coalitions that are split according to the two most predominate political ideologies. Nobody completely agrees with a party platform, the purpose of the thing is to compromise among several different interests until you have a coalition big enough to win and to govern. You’d think it wouldn’t be that difficult to pick which one of the drastically opposing world views you are closest to and then work within the system to influence that group to represent your interests. But retards would rather pretend that things would be better if thousands of individuals with every conceivable combination of positions just fought it out in a gigantic clusterfuck to crown a winner by a plurality of .4%.
You’ll get these popular bits.
-
The parties are pretty much the same anyway
-
It’s just the lesser of two evils
Of course the two major parties are nothing alike, but you’d actually have to learn something to understand that. No the true reason for this sad misunderstanding of parties comes from the same place as all of this retardation, self assurance. Everyone wants to always be right, and that’s hard to do if you were proven wrong. If you actually commit to a party then you have to get your hands dirty sometimes, eventually your policy or president will become unpopular and the political winds will shift, and who wants to be on the hook for that? It’s so much easier to cast dispersions from on high, separate from all that lowly partisan bickering, because of course you knew all along right?
Those retards who identify themselves as Independents are political cowards. They are the backseat driver, the Monday morning quarterback, they’ll lazily look over your shoulder and tell you everything you are doing wrong. They benefit from perpetual inculpability and perfect hindsight. We are to believe they could do much better.
There are so many more of these retarded mainstream ideas. Everyone knows them, they’ll repeat them by rote as everyone else nods in agreement. Why people are to intent on claiming ultimate knowledge about things they don’t bother to actually learn about I’ll never understand. All I know is I would much rather have a discussion with someone who completely disagreed with me on every single issue than be anywhere near the open mouth of anyone who holds these retarded views.