You better get down on your knees right now and pray that jarbabyj doesn’t see this! 
Joan Rivers was never funny-just incredibly cruel.
Dana Carvy
Dana Carvey is an excellent impressionist. Unfortunately, when he stars in movies, they tend to rely completely on that fact and dismiss things like story and character. He did an excellent job in the movie Tough Guys, which was probably his most straight forward character.
Also, the first time I ever saw Bob Sagat, he was hilarious. I’m not sure what happened. It’s like Full House drained his sense of humor.
I nominate Adam Sandler. From Opera Man and Crazy Pickle Hand Guy from SNL, through his movies, the only thing I ever liked was his Chaunakah song.
Carson Daly
That dumb, talentless waste of oxygen must know where the MTV execs have the bodies buried. It’s the only possible explanation.
And I’m shocked that someome nominated Dana Carvey. Yes, his movie career has sucked royally, but his work on SNL and in the Wayne’s World films ought to count for something.
Sadly, not. He is now making films in Hong Kong and driving everyone insane. Not least his co-stars, who are stumped when it comes to explaining what it’s like to work with William.
Even more sadly, his mother, who interrupts most of his interviews with her own worthless observations, has taken to wearing dark glasses and may try to muscle her own way into the industry.
If you don’t like celebrities’ children, how about celebrity spouses?
Linda McCartney
Bianca Jagger
Margaret Trudeau
Gerri Hall
Lord Snowden
Then there are celebrity siblings
Every sibling of James Taylor
Three sisters of Dolly Parton
Tanya Tucker’s older sister
And the all-time winner… Yoko Ono
Anyone who appears on the “marrying” type reality shows, starting with the pair who got married on t.v. and kicked off the whole sad series: Darva somebody (who later posed in Playboy) and her very early “ex”. Sorry, can’t remember the names. Followed by all the ensuing “Bachelor” type contestants including the pair who ultimately got paid to get married on national t.v. And keep showing in magazines talking about how they are going back to a normal life and out of the public eye. Only to be followed up still later about how they are going back to a private life. Only to be followed up…well you’ve got the picture. Gah.
Jackie Chan.
Desperately unfunny; the more so, the more he thinks he’s funny. When did the ability to break one’s own bones elevate someone to star status?
I thought the same thing, but then I watched Punch-Drunk Love, where he actually turned in a pretty decent performance. So I have more respect for him now. 
Seconded what everyone else has said, though, and add Britney Spears. Christina Aguilera actually has a decent voice on her, if nothing else, but Britney just… rrrgh.
-Paris Hilton
-Ashlee Simpson
-Carson Daly
-Puck
-Really anyone that’s been on a “reality” show
Relatives of celebrities should be culled from the herd. Melissa Rivers, Frank Stallone, Ashlee Simpson… The new guy on NCIS, I forget his name but he’s also a recurring character on JAG, turns out he’s the producer’s stepson. Well, now we know how he gets work.
Paris Hilton. She’s not even appealing in the physical sense.
Jessica Simpson
Christene Agueliera
Britney Spears
How about these three try writing a song with a tad of depth that doesn’t sound tottally contrived?
Which celebrity from a reality show is most deserving of celebrity? I’m not necessarily talking reality talent/game shows, because Kelly Clarkson can sing for sure, but can anyone name half the people who have been all over magazines and newspapers and TV just for being on a reality show? I think these people, these neverweres, should be culled from the list too. As well as famous-for-being-related-to people.
I agree with many – Carson Daly is at the top of my list. I can’t even figure out why his talk show is still on the air. My current least deserving favorite is Carmen Electra (who by the way seems to be a guest on Carson’s show everytime I flip past it.) What is her best talent? Dancing? Acting? Being pretty? Being married to Dave Navarro? Should we just cross off the list anyone “famous” from having spent way too much time on MTV or VH1?
As for Paris Hilton, one of the little girls on “America’s Next Top Model” said that her favorite “model” is Paris Hilton. Paris Hilton isn’t a f**king model, she’s a leisure-class socialite! Not that being or not being a model justifies celebrity either, but to aspire to be the next Paris Hilton… I’m just confused.
I’m gonna nominate Whoopi Goldberg. I watch her on Hollywood Squares, and I wonder what on earth she ever did to be considered funny. Yeh, she was in Sister Act, but that really doesn’t count because the entire role was written for Bette Midler, not her. I have talked to a number of people who insist she’s funny, yet no one can ever remember a single role or line that would be cnsidered funny.
Chris W
Paris Hilton is the epitome of a modern phenomenon: the celeb who isn’t a singer, writer, actor, artist or performer of any kind, who is famous precisely for being famous! There have always been some people like that (Zsa Zsa Gabor and Grace Jones come to mind), but today, there are more than ever.
That’s because there are more media outlets covering the entertainment world than ever before, and they’re desperate for something to write about and someone to take pictures of. There are so MANY paparazzi, so MANY gossip columnists, so MANY “Entertainment Tonight” type shows out there… and there just aren’t enough REAL celebrities doing interesting things to keep them all satisfied.
Think about it- Tom Hanks is probably the biggest star in Hollywood. John Grisham is the most popular writer in America. William Peterson is the star of the most popular TV show in America. Bruce Springsteen is the biggest concert attraction in music. So… tell me the last time you saw any of their names or faces in the tabloids? When’s the last time you saw paparazzi stalking any of them? Probably never!
Now, paparazzi COULD take pictures of John Grisham coaching Little League baseball. They COULD take pictures of Meryl Streep taking her daughters to church. They COULD take pictures of Bruce Springsteen mowing his lawn. But they don’t! Fact is, the entertainment media aren’t interested in the biggest stars of show biz if those stars are living mundane, ordinary lives.
The paparazzi and the press want pictures and stories of Beautiful People living the Glamorous Life. They want photos of Jet Setters frolicking nude at St. Tropez. They want pictures of starlets dancing til dawn at chic new discos. And if Meryl Streep won’t frolick nude on the beach, or Tom Hanks won’t go to trendy discos, not matter: the media will MAKE celebrities of the nobodies who do!!!
THAT is why Paris Hilton is a celebrity. Unlike genuine stars of stage, screen and television, she was out at the hotspots where the paparazzi wanted to be. She was out living the Glamorous Life they wanted to imagine themselves a part of.
Paris wasn’t a real celebrity, but she led the life that people WANT to imagine big stars lead, so the media MADE her a celebrity.
Bob Saget, although horribly unfunny in * Full House* and America’s Funniest Home Videos, cannot be the most undeserving celebrity, as he has small spots of redemption that others don’t. Case in point: Half Baked, in which Dave Chapelle’s character attempts to go to a 12-step program for addiction to marijuana. Bob Saget (apparently uncredited) plays a cocaine addict:
About Paris Hilton. Yeah, she is really near the bottom. But rich kids are famous to begin with; beautiful people get an extra leg up, and she has been legitimately signed as a model by some companies (I know I’ve seen her on a billboard somewhere). The two may go hand-in-hand (there are some pre-plastic surgery, hairdo, and colored contacts pictures out there), but with her current looks (not my taste, but apparently ultraskinny ultrafake still sells clothes), she could pose in a J.C. Penney catalog for lunch money even if she had no inheritance. So my vote is for Nicole Ritchie, cause she is as much of a (David Cross’s word here, not mine) cunt as Paris Hilton and could not support herself with a modeling job if there were no Paris. She is absolutely a woman with no apparent marketable, distinguishing, or redeeming characteristics other than being the daughter of a minor pop star and a friend of someone orders of magnitude richer than her.
I think it started with Evel Knieval.
Tom Arnold? I can’t think of a single celebrity who annoys me more than him. Has he ever said anything funny?
The relationship between the paparazzi and certain “stars” is entirely symbiotic. People like Paris and Spears need the paparazzi to help them maintain their places in pop culture while the paparazzi needs them to make a buck. Stars like Springsting, Peterson, or Grisham don’t need to do stupid crap every week to ensure their place in pop culture.
Marc
Colin Farrell. You might remember me from such movies as…actually, I can’t remember him from any movies: it’s like some committee decided he was going to be The Next Big Thing, and started hyping him accordingly, which gave him the license to behave like an arse.
Oh, and ditto for Halle Berry. Nice, um, assets, nothing else to see. Move along.
Gotta disagree with Jackie Chan, though: OK, his Hollywood stuff pretty much sucks {whose idea was it to pair him with Chris Tucker?}, but much of his Hong Kong stuff is brilliant: Drunken Master is probably the best martial arts movie ever made. He’s getting a bit old for the fancy Kung Fu stuff now, so most of his Hollywood roles are comic now - not the best idea, since his English is pretty poor, but the guy is most definitely talented and has paid his dues in a big way.