MrWhatsit once got one of those “Magic Eye” books where if you stare at the picture for long enough, it becomes 3-D.
Doesn’t sound so useless on the face of it, except… MrWhatsit is blind in one eye. (And this is common knowledge in the family, too. It’s not a big secret or anything.)
A combined screwdriver/spirit level that looked just like a brushed aluminium pen. A screwdriver might have been useful; a spirit level likewise, but a cheap-ass combination of the two was just totally useless - too smooth and slim to grip for use as a screwdriver and to piddly small to bother with as a spirit level.
Someone bought it off me on eBay though, when I listed it in January.
Anything from the Sharper Image.
Hey, I **gave **a box of Kleenex as a gift last year! It was 10 month old WhyBaby’s favorite gift! (She just kept pulling and tossing and pulling and tossing and pulling…and no one yelled at her! 
)
My worst Christmas gift was also from a rich aunt: one tube of half-used lipstick.
Yeah. It was opened and used. And not in any color I would ever consider using, to boot.
A friend of mine once got one of his housemates a fake Magic Eye poster. It was just a mess of paisley fractal garbage that gave Sean a headache as he repeatedly tried to find the picture of a unicorn allegedly hidden in it.
I’ve always wanted to hang one of these and call it “The emporer’s new clothes.”
Like Khadaji, I got a wallet… from my in-laws. Would’ve been great, except that it was made for id’s and such that are from out of the country, so it didn’t fit anything I had. These are also the same people who gave me shoes 2 sizes too big. I tried wearing them, but got blisters because the pressure points built into the sole didn’t line up with the balls of my feet. I blame Sheckstress, mostly, who doesn’t know how to put thought into a gift. She’ll tell me who we need to buy presents for, and I’ll go out and get the creative stuff. She’s good for remembering if they ask for anything in particular.
Oh, and there was one year I got a winter hat and some gloves THREE TIMES in the same 24 hour period. I just started laughing at number 2, and with number 3, I had to ask if it was a joke. It wasn’t.