So…what is the worst Christmas present you ever received.
I know you won’t believe this, but it is true!
I once received a bottle deorderant…used.
She was my grandmother-in-law. I don’t think she liked me much 
Music for Plants
it would’ve been funny if given as a Gag Gift. Unfortunately, it wasn’t.
A Star Fleet cheese and butter extruder.
My sister one year spent the money she had been given to buy me a gift on herself. She put an opened, half-eaten oatmeal cream cookie in a box and wrapped it up. We had a wood-burning stove at the time – which, for those unfamiliar, keeps the house exceedingly hot – so by the time I got to open the gift, the cookie was growing green hair and oozing with bugs of all kinds. I got the bonus gift of being whipped with a belt by my mother for complaining about the “gift” as it is “the thought that counts.”
I guess, considering how my mother felt about me, the thought (that seems obvious to me via the “gift”) was “I hope you die” – yep, worst gift ever.
Wow. My contribution will pale by comparison, but here goes:
Shitty gift #1: The used cheese board (with a dusty glass cover and knife marks in the wood) from the ex-MIL. The same ex-MIL gave my husband a dusty old bottle of cologne that had either been used or it evaporated over time.
Shitty gift #2: My sister gave me a bag of decorative rocks. No candles or charger to go with it. Just a bag of rocks.
Crappy, but not crappy in the sense that the thought wasn’t there: My grandmother, living on a fixed income, likes to wrap up stuff of hers and give them away. Once, she gave my husband a tube of cortisone. It was his first Christmas with us, and he responded correctly and with enthusiasm - “Oh, wow, great! I needed this!” (Not sure if he even knew what cortisone is used for).
My grandma is still with us (94) and still a doll. She gave us crappy used garage sale candle holders as our wedding gift, but we didn’t care. (My mom did though).
I think Litoris has me beat…assuming his sister was over 13 
Wow, I’ve gotten gifts that are obviously not suited to me and completely inappropriate, but nothing that offensive! I guess this is mostly b/c I don’t have a MIL yet…
When I was very young, my sister gave me a Matchbox car. Nice, huh? The thing was, she stole it from me so she could give it to me.
The gift I gave her was far nicer. It was a hunk of scrap wood that I wrote “HI” on.
My parents gave me a compendium of Orwell’s finest. 1984, Animal Farm etc. I was seven and wanted a Barbie. It’s been a running joke amongst my friends ever since - except for one friend to whom I told the tale. She didn’t learn to read until she was an adult and pointed out how lucky I was to have had parents who gave me books. So, not such a bad present after all, I suppose.
You reminded me of Post #44 in this thread:
Her sister (why does everyone think I’m a guy?!?!) was 14 at the time, IIRC. I was old enough to respond with “what thought do you think she had when she decided to give me this?” to the beating.
If we had avatars, you could use your bikini picture. That would pretty much remove all doubt.
Mine aren’t nearly as bad as the others - I must be doing okay, but these still rankle.
When I was 6yrs old, Care Bears were all the rage. I was told we were too poor to afford a Care Bear. We may have been, or it may have been an excuse - we could afford many other things. Anyway, no Care Bear for me.
Five years later when I was 11 and way too cool for Care Bears (which were now not only outdated, but “baby” toys as well) I got an oversized Cheer Bear. I feigned appreciation, but it pissed me right off.
Another year (teenage years) all I really really wanted was a small stereo. I came downstairs on Christmas morning, and front and center was a package exactly the right size and shape. It turned out to be two new bed pillows. Thanks, Santa. Just what every teen wants. Pillows. (I got the stereo the next year and still use it to this day)
I was ashamed of all of these when a friend of mine detailed the year her mom asked her if she wouldn’t mind getting anything for Christmas because there was only enough money to get something for her two little brothers. She said that was fine, but was thrilled to get an unexpected teddy bear and a bible.
You’re not a guy? Oh c’mon…everyone knows chicks don’t use computers!
A bikini picture would help to let everyone know…
Ever visited a board that uses avatars? It seems like every teenage boy on the boards uses a girlie picture (or something macho studmuffinly). That’s one of the reasons I hate avatars.
No avatars!
Actual pictures dangit!
In the interest of un-derailing this thread, here is the aforementioned bikini picture. I am the short one. The tall one is 14 in the picture, so stop drooling!
One year, I was helping my mom wrap gifts, including 2 or 3 “emergency” generic gifts (scarves) in case someone showed up with an unexpected present. Turns out, that particular year, she pretty much forgot her firstborn (yep, me) and she gave me one of the scarves.
I did like it and use it for a lot of years, but I think it probably would have meant more if she’d actually gotten it for me.
Oh, and one year, I thought I was getting a portable record player (this was the 60s, OK?) but it turned out to be a suitcase. I was a real brat about it and had a bit of a tantrum. Except once I got over it, I ended up buying 2 matching pieces and I used that luggage for a lot of years.
I like to think I’ve grown up since then.
Agggg…way to young…
plus I’m married now anyway 