"Mother's do you like to see guys working at pre-schools...?"

I worked briefly in a daycare after school along with my job in my school’s library…anyway it was fun a lot of the kids didn’t have dad’s or big brothers so the mother’s liked to see me and one other guy there. I haven’t been working there since the summer started and now I find out that the one guy who I worked their quit because he said that some of the new parents told the directors they were suspicious of him because he was a guy…so long post short…do you mother’s out there get nervous when you see guys working with young children (pre-school age up to 1st grade) and if so then, why?

That’s really a shame. I don’t think I’d worry about it. There is a before and after school program that my daughter goes to (she was in first grade last year) that had a couple of young guys there part time. It didn’t even cross my mind as a problem.

I think it would be great for kids, especially boys, to see that older males could enjoy being around them (for nonsinister reasons) and could consider childcare to be worthwhile work.

Back in 1988, I did some volunteer work at a school for deaf and hearing impaired children. The class I worked in consisted of 3 girls about 5-6 years old each. I would help with the lessons, take them to lunch and the playground, and so forth. AFAIK, no one ever complained or had a problem with it.

We had a discussion about this here a couple of years ago and the OP seemed to have a problem with it. Yes, there are some sleazeballs who ruin in it for those who want to help. I firmly believe that more men should get involved in the education of children.

In a lot of cases, men end up in authoritative roles and children percieve them as people whose job it is to punish and discipline.

Men can be nurturing if given the chance.

START, not trying to be snarky here, but apostrophe (’) does not mean “here comes an s”. It signifies a possessive or a contraction (that is, mothers means more than one mother, mother’s means either belonging to mother or mother is).

There are many situations in life in which you will be judged harshly, although quite possibly subconsciously, for such errors. I’m not trying to be nasty or unkind, just make you aware of it.

I would have absolutely no problem with a man working at a pre-school or any other level of education. As the mother of a boy, I would actually consider it a big plus. I have a good friend who has two boys. She only hires male babysitters because the boys just enjoy it more.
I graduated with a degree in education. One of the most inspired, enthusiastic people in my college was a guy. He majored in Early Childhood Education and aspired to be an elementary school teacher. He was the kind of person, male or female, I’d want teaching my kids.

Two quick examples come to mind:

A woman at work told me her son had a male teacher (1st grade) and that Mr. Jones class was the most popular at the school. There seems to be quite a few single mothers with kids and they all appreciated the chance to have their children spend some time with a male adult as a teacher. She told me her son actually seemed to stop “acting up at home” as much during the year he had Mr. Jones and he was upset that he couldn’t have him as a teacher again in 2nd grade.
Another story: a Gay friend of mine had to make a career change later in life (50 years old) and started to substitute teach as a quick source of income. He was assigned to 1st through 5th grade. He liked it so much that he went back and got his Master’s degree in education. The school knows he is Gay and so do the parents and he claims he has not had a single problem in the 5 years since. He is really good with kids and he and his partner are often invited to the kids’ parents’ homes for holiday parties.

My daughter is in Pre-K, and there are two men working as afternoon aides this summer – I think it’s great! They both have a lot of energy and really seem to like their work.

My son (age 7) goes to an after-school program where the staff is evenly split between men and women, and again, it’s a good way for the kids to have positive male role models.

I was thrilled when Mr. Sean started working at my son’s preschool. He was great! The kids loved him; Charlie thought he was the “bested teacher ever!” He only worked there 2 semesters while he was in college and we were very sad he left. One of the cool things he did was focus on how fun science could be and the kids learned about the solar system and gravity and stuff. Not that the women teachers couldn’t have taught that, they just didn’t.

Last year Charlie was in kindergarten and went to the extension program in the afternoons. Two young college boys worked in the program along with two women. The kids loved Tony and Phil; and they seemed to really love the kids. Tony and Phil are alumni of Charlie’s school, so they could really relate to the kids. I was very comfortable with them and am very glad they will be back when school starts this year.

My best friends son just started first grade and his teacher is a man. She and her husband are very happy about it and really seem to like the teacher. Caleb likes his teacher as well. He’s a very popular teacher.

I wish there were more male teachers in elementary and preschool. I think it’s very important for boys/young men to see early childhood education as a viable career choice.

I see your point…believe it or not i’m good at English, it’s just something about the internet that makes me feel comfortable with smaller errors in a way I wouldn’t feel if I was writing a report. This is the SDMB, a message board where people notice grammar and punctuation more so than posters on other message boards I post on.

My kids were never in daycare, but it wouldn’t have bothered me for them to have male daycare providers. Three of our long-term babysitters (for evenings out and such) were boys and I never thought twice about it.

Our preschool encourages Dads to help out. My husband is pretty much the only one with a flex-schedule to work 2 hours once or twice a year.

A friend of ours is a science teacher at a private school. He is the only guy working there. His job, outside of teaching, is heavy lifting, moving large objects and listening to women go on and on and on… and he has two girls and a wife at home. He is proof that men do not become gay by enviroment. What kills him is the fact that if he weren’t there, these women would have to either figure out a way to move something heavy…but they just delay moving or never move whatever it is.

Oh, give him a pass, will you? We know he’s one of our youngest members–barely in high school, and he’s already brought in some good material for discussion. If he were college age, or – ahem – like a certain college level instructor ( who shall be nameless), then I too would cavil and carp.

We have male daycare teachers. Two of them currently are in my daughter’s room.

I think its great. I’d rather have a guy who likes kids than a woman who doesn’t.

This is pretty interesting! I always wrestled with the notion that being a man worked against me when working with children. But that just isn’t the case, and at the tutoring center I work at I actually have quite a few little admirers.

It really helps when a little boy has someone to talk to about stuff like wrestling, video games, cartoons, and transformers. I’m kind of a perpetual big kid myself, so many of the things the kids are into I am into as well, which helps build trust. While I am working at a tutoring center, and the kids are there to learn, having things in common with them really helps to connect and get them motivated.

This is such a loaded issue for so many people.
When my daughter was 6 weeks old, I attended a New Mothers Group at the hospital where she was born. The nurse who led the group was talking about childcare one day and flat-out said, “Do not ever hire a male to watch your children. It’s too risky.” One of the members calmly pointed out that, statistically speaking, most molestation is committed by a family member or close friend of the families. We moms discussed this later without the nurse present, and someone brought up the very good point that all of our babies had daddies and did she also think that they, as males, should not be trusted with our babies?
A while later, my daughter’s daycare hired several new teachers, one of them male. In their monthly newsletter, they “introduced” the new teachers. When describing the female ones, they talked about their experience, etc. When they described the male teacher, the first line was "he comes with very good refernces ". Obviously they expected a problem.
As an abuse survivor and a neurotic mom, I am leery of every single person who enters my child’s life, regardless of gender, until I know them better.

Isn’t cavil and carp a tasty fish dish? :slight_smile:

Anyway back on track-as a 25 yr old male I have found a lot more problems with people accepting you to babysit,especially for girls.For some reason folks assume a girl in her early twenties babysitting young lads does it because she enjoys childcare,whereas a lad in his early twenties babysitting for young girls just does it so he can perv on them :mad:

Nah, a very popular Vaudeville act from the 20’s.

When I was a teenager, it used to bug me a lot that I would always, always get stuck with the child-minding duties whereas my older brother would not, on the assumption that since I was a girl I would be better at it, and enjoy it. I’m still childless by choice and he has three adorable little girls -he was always better with kids than I.

I have no time for the blanket social fear that men who work with children must have sinister motives. I know there are men who abuse the advantages of their positions, and that has to stop, but the majority of good men who choose to go into child nurturing fields shouldn’t be stigmatized because of the behaviour of a criminal few.

When it came time for my daughter to go to daycare, I registered her at the daycare where a male friend worked, because he worked there. He was wonderful with kids.

Then they changed directors. Friend was ‘released’ because the director thought something was wrong for a teen male to enjoy being with little kids all day.

The director then hired her son to do maintenance. A year later son was arrested for molesting a little boy.


I’ve helped with the children & teens ministries at church so I went through the training program administered by a woman who had been abused by a grandfather in her childhood. She was totally against teen males helping with the younger children because apparently their hormones would override any sense of decency. I was in my 30s & thus “safe” but to this day I really wish I’d spoken up in defense of my gender.

Btw, while we adopted her basic child-protection system, the church leaders did modify it to be reasonable.