I thank the OP for starting this thread. I have been following the other dog threads and have not had the courage to reply. We had to put our beloved dog down exactly 1 week ago today. I am still raw over it, and over the weekend I have moved from sobbing all day long to having just one good cry in the evening. To me, it happened suddenly - I have a great picture of him just sitting on the front porch with me enjoying the springtime sun on his last day. The next day he had a health emergency and we had to make the decision.
I had not accompanied him to the vet the last couple years and my wife handled that. He had a number of serious health challenges over his 11 years, so the vet indicated to her something may happen and it may be sudden. Unfortunately, I was not tuned-in like that so it seems more surprising to me. Anyway, I spent most of last week alternating between grief and missing him, and destructively replaying the day and second-guessing things (I am past this part now, mostly).
Our previous dog we had 15 years and also had to make the decision for her, but it was planned, and this seems sudden (altho in hindsight maybe it was not). Last time, I resisted getting another dog but pressure from the family made me give-in after about 4 months. That dog we got was the one we put down last week and he was awesome. This time I feel like I want to do this again, and think we will need his things again sometime (rather than getting rid of everything). A friend lost a dog last year after illness - it was the only dog they’d ever owned, and she’s not ready to get another, and may never do it again. Everyone is different and needs to do what makes them happy.
I will just say the mourning and grief are real and will last as long as someone needs.
This is how I felt when I lost my Dolly. She was my baby, my princess, my everything. I think the “no regrets” bit was most helpful and I think I was given that advice here, in fact. I gave myself a month to grieve (and I grieved hard, no doubt) then set to find my new dog. I got Morgan from a rescue group and 2 months later I got Grady. I’ve never felt like I was replacing Dolly. With these two new guys I just feel like I’m continuing on the path me and Dolly created.
My cousin is a big dog lover and she lost her Jax unexpectedly last month. I was surprised she got a new pup within a week. But I have no doubt she mourns Jax and can’t live without another dog.
My other friend lost her dog over the winter and I know she’s still grieving. She hasn’t gotten a new one yet but I know she’s the sort of person who is looking for the right dog at the right time. She’s also got some cats to keep her company.
My neighbor lost her dog a couple years ago and hasn’t gotten another (she travels a lot for work). She still cries every time my dogs visit her because they give her memories of her dog. It’s still ok and valid for her to be that way. She lost a huge chunk of her heart when he died.
This is a really good point. I’ve had a lot of cats, but I’ve had two wonderful cats. One was killed by a roving dog, and the other died quietly of an inoperable tumor. And I’m still bitter 30 years later about Foggy’s death, but while I still actively miss Francesca, who died a little more than a year ago, I don’t feel bad about her passing. She lived a good life and had a quiet, peaceful death.
We here have always had from 2-6 dogs and between 2-6 cats. Ive been here on the “estate” since the late 70’s. We try to get new friends as the older ones are getty ready to move on to the next part. Too many tales(tails) to tell, so its hard to say when to get a new animal. Sometimes its about the animals left behind, other times its about the humans…
I recently (for my personal self) rescued a cat from Pismo Beach, he was so mean and large (18lbs) we had to keep him in a cage at first in case he hurt the dogs. Growling and spitting like a bobcat. I thought I might have to return him.
Now, 6 months later, he is the toast of the town, best cat ever etc etc… Wont leave my side when Im out working. .You just never know about these things. Hes probably a Ragdoll mix
My wife and I had an awesome cat for nearly 15 years. Kola was friendly, playful, curious, talkative, smart, and silly. But, as he got older, he started to suffer from thyroid issues, and three years ago, we finally lost him.
It was the first time in our married life that we didn’t have an animal in the house with us (we’d previously had another cat, and two dogs), and while there was that empty spot in our lives, it took us a while to get to the point where we wanted to get another cat – it was probably close to a year before we decided we were ready.
Based on the advice of my sister, and a friend of mine, we decided that we wanted to adopt a bonded pair of cats, which took several months to find. But, we found two littermates at the local humane society: a pair of 4-month-old ginger tabby brothers, who charmed us immediately. We’ve now had Merry and Pippin for a year and a half, and they’ve been a godsend over the past year of social isolation. They aren’t as smart as their predecssor, but they are sweet and playful and goofy (if a little spooky).
In addition to local success of the spay/neuter movement, at least for canines: what’s available around here, either for purchase or from a shelter, is Little Dogs or Big Dogs. I need a medium dog (big enough to face down a woodchuck; small enough for me to pick up if necessary, and I’m not as strong as I used to be and will probably get less so.) I also need to be able to introduce the dog, in person, to me and the cats before committing; I’m not willing to have one shipped halfway across the country to me. And most of the shelters won’t even talk to me, because the dog after I’d taught it where home is would get to be off leash outside a fence (on 80 acres of farm at the end of the road.)
Around here, however, cats are still well in supply; because most of the area farmers treat them more as wild beneficials than as domestics, which includes not getting them neutered. All the current three arrived without my having to go looking for them: the most recent showed up mewing at my door on his own; the one before that I was orignally supposedly boarding temporarily but her previous human kept not showing up to get her; the one before that mewed at the door of friends of mine who couldn’t keep him. (Both the mewing-at-the-door cats were advertised but nobody claimed them.)
Massive sympathy. I lost a 12 year old cat that way, from a cancer resulting from his feleuk vaccinations – they’ve fixed that vaccine now, and it was a rare result even before they fixed it; he might have died younger if not vaccinated. But the vet. hadn’t expected it either to be that sudden or that painful. He was fine except for the almost-healed wound where they’d tried to remove it, and then very suddenly he wasn’t, and it takes about fifteen minutes to get to the vet. from here.
All of my others have gone more easily; some of them very easily, some of them at the vet. to make it easy.
When Bernie died (age and thyroid), I was bereft. She was my companion for over 20 years. She finally went on a XMas Eve.
Before I lost her, the longest I had been feline-less in my entire life was a week.
I wanted to wait, to allow time for my daughter and I to grieve. She had never not known Bernie. Our other cat, Cleo, died here in the house a few years prior, yet another known since birth friend.
Later in January that year, daughter was going to NYC for a few weeks. I realized there was no way I could be in a completely empty house. The week before she left, we adopted Lucy.
Lost my 5 year old dog to an off-leash dog attack (mine was leashed) on Christmas Eve. Called the breeder on a whim and discovered he had a brother born Christmas morning. Decided it was too much to pass up and put down a deposit . . . so 8 weeks between dogs.
If he’d died less awfully, I wouldn’t have been in such a hurry, but my poor son is an only child in a pandemic. The loss was just awful and we needed something joyous.
I acquired my first cat in 1986 and have never been without at least one since then. As others have already said I too couldn’t bear the thought of a house without a cat in it. Some I looked for and some just found me.
Three years ago I lost one of my 2 elderly girls and decided to look into adopting from the shelter. Partly because my remaining girl was lonely and partly because of the aforementioned cat continuum. I decided to get an adult since they aren’t as popular as kittens and also kittens are a lot of work - I used to foster for the shelter years ago. I connected with a lovely tabby fellow who had a bite warning on his record. He’s really a sweetheart, not a speck of meanness in him, he’s just a naturally mouthy cat - expresses himself by biting/nibbling. I’ve taught him that human skin is more tender than cat hide is and he’s quite gentle now, very laid back and attached to me. A week after I adopted him I lost my other girl.
And two and a half months later I ended up with another kitten anyway. You just never know.
I’m so sorry for your loss, may your heart have peace and may you stop punishing yourself right soon now. Your puppers loves you and wants you to be happy.
Several years ago, my brother and his family spent a LOT of money to give their cat what turned out to be futile ICU treatment over a weekend, and before that week was out, they had a new cat and she’s still going strong.
For me, whenever I’ve lost a pet, a new one has acquired me when we were both ready.
Yeah, DesertRoomie lost Elf, her favorite saluki puppy, to a pair of akita forty years ago. When she was driving up after work she saw them jump out over the second of two six-foot fences they had to get over, jumped out of the car and found her torn, lifeless body in the yard.
She loves all critters, but will have nothing to do with akita to this day.
