I said almost …
Having seen Conquest, I have to say it’s pretty good. The sex is pretty generic, but the sets and costumes (and even swordfights) are pretty good. The new one? Eh. I agree. Too blonde, too fake. Or, as (I believe) a local DJ said, “They look like women female impersonators.”
A good ol’ jolly rogering all round, nice.
Shiver me timber
Grrr. Had quicktime 6, upgraded to watch the preview, and now can’t watch it. Grr.
It’s his turn in the barrel… with Jenna!
This film was directed by a true dongmonger!
That’d be two of yer scurvy puns in this thread alone to churn me bowels. Batten it down, ye lubber, or I’ll have ye keelhauled!
Now, fair wenches, avast! I be hoistin’ me mizzen…
I’m wondering if there’s going to be a new meaning to the term ‘fist full o’ gold.
That could go a few different ways.
I’m trying to think of a good joke for “pieces of eight”, but they’re all lame oral puns. Anyhow, I don’t think this cast is big enough to support much more than a three-way, so orgy references are right out as well.
Eh. Pirates of the Carribean had plenty of C&B* for me.
Daniel
*Chest and Booty
I’m not so sure, however, that 18th century piratettes had collagen and silicon enhancements, let alone shaved parts and tattos in close vincinity of said shaved parts.
I seem to recall hearing back in the day that Caligula was originally done as an historic epic, directed by Francis Ford Coppola. Then Bob Guccione had all the porno stuff spliced in, unbeknownst to Coppola who subsequently had his name legally removed from the project. Or something like that.
Can anyone confirm or debunk that story?
Is it just me, or does the second chick from the left look like Christina Aguilera?
No, no, you both do.
Daniel
I’ll bet they ‘walk the plank’ a lot.
And swabbing the poop deck will take on a whole new dimension.
Man, them are some ugly plasticky chiquitas. Give me Euro porn any day.
Sort of, but not exactly. It wasn’t Coppola, but the director (and writer) did disown the production. Neither did it for the hardcore sex, though. See the link, the first big paragraph about a third of the way down.
And for anyone who’s curious, Caligula isn’t worth sitting through, despite its notoriety. It’s one of those movies with such a reputation that people feel like they have to see what it’s about; but afterward you just feel dumb for having been suckered by the rep. It’s long and boring and pretty stupid. Still, the lure is so powerful that until you’ve seen it for yourself, nobody will be able to convince you it isn’t worth seeing.
Oh, and Conquest is pretty good, though there are a few scenes where it’s hard to enjoy the sex while you’re worrying about the performers getting sand into their moist bits.
Sorry about the inadvertent modification to Scruloose’s quote. I was trying to code it as an emendation, i.e. “can anyone confirm or debunk that story [about Caligula]” and I screwed it up.
Ah - thanks for the link. And I completely agree with your point about seeing the film. Curiosity got the best of me when I was 19 and I saw the movie. B-O-R-I-N-G. I’ll never get that, what - 7 hours? back.