This thread is inspired by an essay that mentioned the movie “The Gift.” It said (speaking of Giovanni Ribisi’s character) “in the movies, Southern character + working class = halfwit.” I half to give the essayist a lot of credit for pointing this out, since she works in Chicago. But it got me to thinking. What other easily identifiable characters are there in most movies? I’ve listed the few I could think of on short notice.
Male lawyers are shifty. Women lawyers are super-efficient Suits.
Businessmen are ruthless and concerned only with money.
Whores have a heart of gold.
Germans are evil, no matter what the time period. (After all, if they were supposed to be sympathetic characters they would simply be re-scripted as Danes or Czechs.)
Waitresses chew gum and wear aprons.
Waiters are aloof and prim.
Anvil salesmen look weak, but are deceptively strong for a cheap gag. (In The Music Man only)
Black people in movies with white people are there to provide moral and spiritual insight to the white people, and gay people in movies with straight people are there to comfort them through their romantic relationships, which the gay people never seem to have themselves.
If you are male and about to die for some reason, you get to have sex with a gorgeous babe the night before you go.
If you are a female lead and get to have sex, it always ends up being an emotionally traumatic experience.
If you are a teenager and attempt to have sex, you die.
Evil villains used to be mostly Asian or from eastern Europe, but now are mainly British.
No matter what the crime, at some point during the investigation the detectives will have to visit a strip bar.
Bartenders always know the villain, but have to be roughed up a bit before they will admit it.
Men in Southern California always wear jackets or sport coats, even when it appears to be about 110 deg. F outside. This was especially true in the 1970’s.
In sci-fi movies, the mentally retarded character will always possess some mental gift that ends up saving everyone else. Usually, this gift is revealed just after the other characters have had a big fight over whether or not the retarded character should be abandoned because he’s “dead weight”.
Good old “Italian people have accents like they just got off the boat and are (of course) all in the mob.”
I’m reminded of the hilarious MST3K episode (“Mitchell!”) when two gangsters are on a park bench discussing some illegal deed and patheticly attempting Italian accents. (“Hey, he’s-a notta gooda guy!” etc.) Joel quipped: “Hey! Cos I’m-a Italian, don’tcha know!”
Roger Ebert was recently wishing (during a review of “Sweet November”) for one of these mysterious gay friends whose only purpose in life was to drop by the apartment to be witty, then return and bring him soup when he was at death’s door.
I for one am sick of the MAAF–the Magical African-American Friend. Everyone knows that Black people are just so much more spiritual and happy than white people. And they are just waiting around for a white person they can teach to laugh, love, and live. Gag.
The other thing that annoys me. If there’s been a series of murders, it’s always a businessman, a scientist, or a clergyman. According to movies, 90% of all murders must be done by CEOs of Fortune 500 companies.
