Two dollars!
Hooray! Love Christopher Guest, not many people I know have seen “Waiting for Guffman” though.
Since I was a theatre major in college, we had infinite possibilites with this one. “If you forget your lines, just say any line, even from a different show. That’s what I do.” We often break into song…if we’re sitting around with nothing exciting happening, “bor-ing! bor-ing! bor-ing!” Or, “A penny for your thoughts”
Best in Show - My neighbors have terriers, I always think of the song “God loves a terrier” when I see them.
“We really have a lot in common…we both like soup, and talking, and not talking. We can sit and not talk for hours.”
Also “The Jerk”, every time we have to gather things up or pack, “That’s all I need! I don’t need anthing els-I need THIS! That’s all I need! Fer sure!”
Jorel - lol! I was out on my friend’s boat this weekend and sitting up front - “I’m saiiilllliinng!”
Of course The Simpsons - it is now a challenge for us to work in new and more obscure quotes in to our lives, I was proud of myself recently for being able to use “Maybe if you didn’t poop so much you wouldn’t be so small.”
Rare is the conversation between me and my college roomate that does not contain more than one Young Frankenstein quote. "Taffeta darling! “Taffeta sweetheart!”
Between me and WinkieHubby, it’s mostly Office Space ("…I was told I could listen to my radio at a reasonable volume …") Princess Bride (“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means”) Star Wars (“Laugh it up, fuzzball”) and the occasional PCU *(“YES. WE. WOULD. LIKE. A. BEER.” “You mean if you’re nice to them they bring you things?”).
*This is a truly awful movie, but it sucks us in every time it’s on Comedy Central, which is about every other day.
“You were nothing before you met me! You were playing Barbies with Betty Finn!” (Heathers) I’ll go into the whole fight, Heather and Veronica #1, unprovoked.
“Your club’s for retards” (Welcome to the Dollhouse) We also like to mouth “fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou” and run our tongues over our lips from across the room
Any time one of us has been “foiled” in any way, especially by a particularly treacherous board game move:
“KAAAAAAAAAHN!!!”
Guffman and Best in Show are supremely quotable.
Bear in a Bee suit has already been mentioned.
“I hate you and your ASS FACE!”
“You’re bastard people!”
“Pine nut… Pea nut… Macadamia nut…”
“The diameter and the circumference are constantly changing, but the radius stays the same”
“It’s a Zen thing, like how many babies fit in a tire”
“Do you want me to strike this?”
“In those days… the players wore wool socks…”
“This place is called phantom hill. There’s no phantom, and it’s not really a hill. I don’t know why they call it that.”
Star wars of course, and Kevin Smith movies. Princess Bride, Monty Python, Highlander.
These are the movies that I usually quote every day:
Office Space: “It’s not that I’m lazy, it’s that I just don’t care.”
Ghostbusters: “Mother pus-bucket!”
MST3K: The Movie: “It’s the Amazing Technicolor Cheese Wedge!”
The Blues Brothers: “Illinois Nazis. I hate Illinois Nazis.”
I also usually get in a few Python references, a couple of Tenacious D lines (That’s telekinesis, Kyle!), and some Mr. Show stuff (Can I get change for a dollar? Quarters mostly?).
“What’s your major malfunction numb-nuts!?!”
“Jesus H Christ, I think he has a hard-on!”
“If God had wanted you over that obstacle, he’d have miracled your ass…”
“God has a hard-on for Marines because we keep heaven packed with fresh souls. He plays his game, we play ours.”
“Is that you John Wayne, is that me? WHO SAID THAT!!!”
“Bullshit, the best part of you rolled down the crack of you mamas ass and made a stain on the mattress…”
“God came before the Marines so you can give you heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corp!”
Hehehehe… God help us when me and my buddies get drunk and start quoting Full Metal Jacket.
Swingers rules…
“You’re so money and you don’t even know it”
“Vegas, baby…Vegas”
TRENT You’re like this big bear with claws and fangs…
SUE …and big fuckin’ teeth…
TRENT …and teeth…and she’s like this little bunny cowering in the corner…
SUE …shivering…
TRENT …And you’re just looking at your claws like “How do I kill this bunny?”
SUE…You’re just poking at it…
TRENT …Yeah, you’re just gently batting it around…and the rabbit’s all scared…
SUE …and you got big claws and fangs…
TRENT …and fangs…and you’re like “I don’t know what to do. How do I kill this bunny?..”
Pee Wee’s Big Adventure!
Nobody watches Repo Man any more? How did THAT one slip through the cracks in this thread?
Bud: “I don’t want no commies in my car!..No Christians, either!”
Agent Rogers: “It happens sometimes. People just explode. Natural causes.”
Bud: “Look at 'em…ordinary fucking people. I hate 'em.”
Leila: “I’m GLAD I tortured you!”
Debbi: “Let’s go do some crimes!”
Duke: “Yeah! Let’s go get sushi, and not pay!”
Oly: “Fuckin’ A we ripped your car, asshole! …Ya know who told us where it was? Your god damn brother!”
Duke: “I blame society. Society made me what I am.”
Otto: “That’s bullshit. You’re a white suburban punk, just like me.”
Miller: “The more you drive…the less intelligent you are.”
J. Frank Parnell: “You ever hear of the neutron bomb? Destroys people – leaves buildings standing. Fits in a suitcase. It’s so small, no one knows it’s there until - BLAMMO! Eyes melt, skin explodes, everybody dead! So immoral, working on the thing can drive you mad. That’s what happened to this friend of mine. So he had a lobotomy. Now he’s well again.”
…and, of course, anything having to do with Chevy Malibus, pine-tree-shaped deodorizers, and plates of shrimp.
I love that movie. My friend and I can do the Benjy-and-Swann-on-the-roof bit at the drop of a hat:
“I’ll hold the rope taut and you can just ssshhhhimmy down!”
“I’m not ssshhhhimmying down anything! It’s toooo dangerous!”
“Not! when you’ve been instructed by Niblik!”
“Who. The Hell. Is Niblik?”
“My Shirpa guide. From the Himalayas.”
“The Himalayas? The Himalayas? Look! There’s the door! Let’s go give it a try!”
And of course, just before the show goes on:
“Usually it takes me two or three takes just to warm up, but I think tonight I’ll get it on the first take.”
“We always get it on the first take, Mr. Swann. This is live television.”
“Live? [sound of panic begins to creep in here] Live? What does ‘live’ mean?”
“It’s means that while you’re out there leaping onstage, twenty-two million people are watching it at home.”
“Waitaminnut. Wait A Minute! You mean it all goes into the camera lens and just spills out into people’s houses? Why didn’t anybody have the goodness to explain this to me before?”
“You have nothing to worry about, Mr. Swann. Our audiences are always great!”
“Audience – what audience?”
“You knew there was an audience, what did you think all those seats were for?”
“I haven’t played in front of an audience in twenty-eight years! I played a butler. I Had One Line! I forgot it!”
“Trust me, this will be easy…”
“Easy for you, maybe – I’m Not An Actor, I’m a Movie Star!”
As you can tell, I’ve seen this a few times!
Besides those that have already been mentioned, there’s:
The Emperor’s New Groove
-"NOOO TOUCHY! No touchy."
-"Bewaaarrrre the grooove..."
-"I'll turn him into a flea. A harmless, little flea. Then, I'll put that flea into a box, put that box into another box, send the box to myself, and when I get it, (*cackle of the insanse*) I'll smash it with a hammer! It's brilliant brilliant brilliant!"
-(high pitched kitten voice)"Is that my voice? Is that ... ***my*** voice?? Oh well."
-"Why do we even HAVE that lever?"
-"My shoulder angel."
-"That's a harp... and that's a dress."
"ROBE!!"
-"Ohhh... I'm a crumbly canyon wall, and I'm gonna take you with me.. well, NOT TODAY!! I snatched you right out of the air!"
-"Llama face!"
and of course…
- "Let me guess. We're about to go over a huge waterfall."
"Yep."
"Large sharp jagged rocks at the bottom?"
"Most likely."
"Bring it on."Wow, a friend actually quoted Super Troopers today, and everyone in the room got the reference.
A co-worker who is trying to stop cursing had to deal with some major technical scewups, and he started making weird noises- sounded like a bear. Buddy cups his hands around his mouth and says “Bearfucker… do you need assistance?”
Funny, even funnier was that we all got the reference considering that movie wasn’t a big hit.
Pulp Fiction
Vincent Vega and Mia Wallace dinner at Jack Rabbit Slims.
They give the order to Buddy Holly.
Vincent says - Steak and Vanilla Coke
Mia says - Derwood Kirby Burger and Five Dollar Shake
(Martin & Lewis)
Vincent says - Did you just order a Five Dollar Shake,
you don’t put Bourbon or nothing in it.
They get the shake
V says - Can I get a sip of that, I got to know what
a five dollar shake taste like.
M says - You can use my straw, I don’t have cooties.
V says - God damn, that’s a pretty good fucking milkshake.
M says - Told ya.
V says - I don’t know if it was worth five dollars,
but it’s pretty fucking good.
When were out and I order a shake, we always do this sequence.
When I was in high school my freinds and I would watch Point Break constantly. Keanu Reeves is truly an acting great.
“Dude”
“Dude”
“Dude”
You get the idea.
FULL METAL JACKET
How tall are you? 5’8"? I didn’t know they stacked shit that high!
I bet the best part of you ran out the crack of your momma’s ass and ended up as a brown stain on the sheets!
You’re the kind of guy who would fuck a man in the ass and not have the common decency to give him a reacharound!
You are amphibian shit!
Holy dogshit, you’re from Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, and I don’t see horns you, so that just about settles it!
Private Snowball, you will be displeased to hear that we do not serve fried chicken and watermelons on a daily basis in the mess hall!
What is your name fatbody!
And Joker’s quote: I guess you could say that I’m in a world of shit, but at least I am alive, and I am not afraid.
Anything from the View Askew universe.
“Bunch of savages in this town…”
Anything Evil Dead/Army of Darkness.
“Lady, I’m afraid I’m gonna have to ask you to leave the store.”
Anything Blues Brothers.
“You’ve gotta prepare the proper exploitation for a gig like that!”
“I know all about that stuff, I’ve been exploited all my life.”
Anything Pulp Fiction.
“Who’s Zed?”
“Zed’s dead, baby. Zed’s dead.”
And my personal favourite movie of all time, which I think you all missed - Empire Records!
AJ: “What’s with you today?”
Lucas: “What’s with today, today?”
Lucas: (going through CDs shoplifted by Warren) “Rap, metal… rap, metal… Whitney Houston.”
Warren: “It’s for my girlfriend, okay?”
Lucas: “Sure it is.”
“DAMN THE MAN!”
Debra: “I went to rock 'n roll heaven and I wasn’t on the guest list.”
Gina: “Attention Rex Manning fans, to your left you will notice a shoplifter being chased by our night manager Lucas. This young man will be caught, dipped in a vat of hot oil and served to our first one hundred customers. Just another tasty treat from the gang here at Empire Records.”
I LOVE that movie. 