One is kind of a spoof of the Elvis movies. An attractive, intelligent young man’s life is made miserable by the fact that he is constantly being followed by a group of musicians who show up at Key Moments In His Life (or day), and start playing, well, music, and he has to sing a song about what This Moment means to him in order to make them go away.
The second is based on the premise that No Matter What You Need, Some Woman Has It In Her Purse. I don’t have a plot, characterizations or basic story, but I see it as an action/adventure/comedy flick (of course). Much of the humor is derived from the fact that much needed items (like a disassembled AK-47) are pulled out of purses that seem too small to hold them (an evening bag).
I have seen three movies play out in my head: my screenplays (as yet unsold). Two are offbeat romantic comedies (but not mushy) and one is a bizarre dark comedy.
I really, really want to write and direct Buckaroo Banzai vs. the World Crime League, the promised but never realized sequel to Buckaroo Banzai: Across the Eighth Dimension. But seeing as Earl Mac Raunch and the director are still alive and kickin’ it (or at least trying to–at last report they were pitching a Buckaroo Banzai TV series to anybody that would listen), my chances are slim to none.
I would love to have a hand in the making of the screen version of King and Straub’s The Talisman. Years ago, I had the damned thing fully cast, and then everyone I had either got too old (I had pictured Henry Thomas as Travellin’ Jack), or died (Scatman Carruthers as Speedy Parker). So I’d have to re-cast. Also, it couldn’t be for theatrical release, it would have to be too damned long. A mini-series, perhaps?
I always wanted to make a bad martial arts movie spoof called Sub Vs. Dub, where the bad guys speak in subtitles and the good guys speech is dubbed. And there’d be a character named “myfriend” who would always get confused because dubbed people say “My friend” all the time when they talk.
I’ve pondered an odd paean to Atlanta where all the major characters are named after MARTA stations and the minor characters are named after intersections.
I would love to see the Arkady Renko books ( Gorky Park, Polar Star, Red Square, and Havanna Bay) by Martin Cruz-Smith. Yes I know there is a gorky park movie out there… but they butchered the whole damn book!
Better yet, “Wrack and roll” by Bradley Deanton would be a great flick, directed by Kevin Smith, Music by Trevor Rabin. Yes, indeed that would be grand.
A long, very embellished film noir about my life. Of course, I will play myself, but I’ll have to get a couple of major actors to play the parts of a number of crucial people in my life. I’ll need a gang à la West Side Story, but we could drag a number of punk kids off the street, teach them to sing and pay them to dance threateningly when I’m portraying my defeat of greedy consumerist culture and Shub-Niggurauth. My secret lover should be played by Gillian Anderson, just so we could do a prolonged screen kiss… (ow! who hit me?)
Oh, Gillian Anderson, I know I’m somewhere between Mr. Burns and Gollum on the sexy scale, but please! I can sing! I can cook! I can… ahh, who am I kidding?
(wistful sigh)
Do you think she has any sisters, cousins, chess opponents, that would find me a viable life partner?
In all seriousness, a friend and I were talking about making a movie based on a series of comic strips I once did (and will do again one day). It was to be a full-length animated deal about two mad scientists, their mutual hatred and one young boy’s attempt to maintain sanity throughout this all while living in a strange land. I have a script for the comic buried in my hard drive, and once I get off my butt, I’ll set pencil to paper. It could be a movie with some stretching and fiddling-around-with.
And there’s this one, where I play a young Russian countess right around the time of the Crimean War. My father and mother both died when I was very young, and I was raised by my paternal grandfather and his second wife, played by Omar Sharif and Frances Fisher respectively. They would have a son, my half-uncle, who would be played by Edward Furlong (I hate him, and he’s the villain in this story), and the cast would also include my step-grandmother’s father, Gregory Peck.
Then, Noah Wyle would step into the picture as a British soldier that I would fall in love with.
I think it would make a neat story, no?
I’m also thinking of including Denis Lawson in there somewhere-perhaps as Wyle’s commanding officer.
Actually, apparently Gullimo Del Toro is going to do it.
After he finished Hellboy and any other projects he’s working on.
Even then, there’s no gurentee that I’ll come as a good movie.
Knowing hollywood, there will probably be an unneeded romantic sub-plot inserted. Something like Danforth or the main character will end up being a woman. An
incredibly sexy woman who also likes to hump like a rabbit.
And right before they meet the Shoggoth, they will have sex in the middle of
the old one’s city, because cataloguing a hitherto unknown civilization that
reigned for billions of years before man can wait.
A movie adaptation of Fredric Brown’s Arena, done right for a change. (This story has been ripped off numerous times, notably the original Outer Limits episode “Fun and Games”. It was “adapted” as an episode of the original “Star Trek”, but changed so much that the author would never have recognized it.)
Alfred Bester’s The Stars my Destination. KIt has one of the best openings one could want for a science fiction film. Read the book, and you’ll see why.
Also Bester’s The Demolished Man. I’ve thought about how to do the “telepath party” scene. It could be one heck of a great scene.
I’ve long thought that Frederick Forsyth’s The Devil’s Alternative could be a great mini-series (too long for a single movie), but the atmosphere isn’t good right now for terrorist movies.
Sean Connery or Christopher Lee as Dracula
Max Von Sydow as Van Helsing (tho Anthony Hopkins was perfect)
Dennis Hopper or Christopher Lloyd or Steve Buscemi as Renfield
younger Kate Bush or perhaps Tori Amos as Lucy Westenra (oh yeah,
this would be a musical L)
I don’t care who else in what parts but we would have the whole crew including Quincey Morris but a much more dignified one than in the Coppola version
The ultimate JESUS movie-
with a younger Mel Gibson as JC, playing him as fully compassionate & wise but also kinda dangerously crazy
ATLAS SHRUGGED- I don’t have casting done except that Janine Turner of NORTHERN EXPOSURE would be a great Dagny Taggart
THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS with Sean Connery as Bruce Wayne
