Hmm…a prom.
Finally I get another opportunity to show up alone in a my grandfather’s tuxedo, hit on other people’s dates, bitch about the lack of food, get rejected by the only single girls there, and finally set the building on fire in disgust.
I love proms. 
I want this to be my prom theme. I want it really bad.
On the other hand it sort of will be. I’m taking two girls and we’re going to be dressed entirely in home-made rainbow clothing. We’re also going to demand we get the couple’s rate, insisting that we are a threesome.
Oooh, prom is fun! Yahoo!
LC
Um, Caldazar, I hate to seem forward, but I’m wondering if you would do me the honor of being my prom date?
Robin
I suggest-Russian Imperial Splendor
Camelot
Starry Night
A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Under the Sea
I’m going to find the prettiest dress…now, if only I had a date…hint hint…
My rage burns with the fire of a million rejected proposals.
I’ll be over by the punch bowl drowning my sorrows.
At my school you could not go stag to the prom. So I had to sulk at home.
Same here, Zebra. It would have been so cool to be able to go with my friends in a group, but NOOOOO.
Can we get a swing band?
Oh, yeah!
Swing band with appropriate decorations and theme!
Guys in zoot suits!
I like it!
Where’s Lindy Hopper? I need an apporpriate date.
Sorry I’m late! I was so excited Redboss put me on the decorations committee, and since Francesca had the little paper roses covered, I was negotiating with my dealer for chicken wire and I’ve got bales and bales of it, and–
What? Aw crap.
(I say if we’re going for a painting theme, we all go as the guy from “The Scream.”)
[sub]::sneaking in back door late::
::copping “uppity” attitude to cover for said lateness::[/sub]
Francesca! Rosebud! Where have you two been?
Redboss dahling, be a dear and get me a drink. 'k?
Ok girls. How are we going to spruce this place up? First of all, it’s a gym, a tired gym. Kind of like a blank canvas, mmmmm?
Red, hun, how are you coming along with those polystyrene people? You know how they can be…
Fran, Sondheim doesn’t come with Kathie Lee, does it? Ginger has put the kabosh to the pukey pink tissue flowers so we had better put those back in the box.
And Rose, dear, before we get too far along, you should know that Redboss asked me to marry him, too. He likes how both of our names just f-l-o-w together with his.
where are we hanging this 6’ disco ball?
[takes Esprix’ hands; eyes light up] Really? You really mean it? Wow, that is totally awesome! I’d love to go with you! Nobody asked me yet, I don’t even have a ticket, I’ll go buy one at recess, that is totally cool! Can I tell my friends?
It will if I get my hands on the punch. Mescaline mixed with extract of pineal gland. And underneath the punch table, some open containers of ether.
By midnight, we’ll be on the road to Barstow. Who-hah!
’sprix, matt … that was about the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in a long time. Almost gives the rest of us regular shmoes think we might have a chance with someone if we just open our mouths and say it.
:: rubs self-consciously at the corner of eyes ::
'Scuse me. I’ve gotta go look for Eve. Oh, and if I show back up here in the next half-hour or so, just go ahead and put me down for chaperone, okay? I’ll be the one standing in the back with a foot of 1" lead pipe lanyarded to my wrist.
[looks blankly, blinks twice, and passes out.]
Esprix
Sprix?
ESPRIX?
[shakes Esprix]
Oh my god oh my god!
[performs mouth-to-mouth]
[Slowly regains consciousness, realizes what’s happening, and takes advantage of… the situation. ;)]
Esprix
Awwwww! Look at that, isn’t that sweet? I just hope that if someone asks me to the prom, I won’t pass out. That must be as embarassing as h… oh, what? He did that on purpose? Damn, I’m outta the loop.
Is it at all possible that I take ShibbOleth, TN*hippie, Qwertyasdfg and lno with me? I could have a harem of hot guys…I think I should be allowed to do that. Really I do.
Waiting for someone to ask me…
You know, I could round up the rest of the Art Club and take this chicken wire and some old newspapers and make big papiér maché boulders. Then we could turn the whole gym into a papiér maché cave, with stactites (they stick tight to the ceiling) and stagmites (you might walk into one), and make the punch stand look like a big rock formation.
We could put in a bunch of blacklights, too. Wouldn’t that be awesome?
We’d need a fog machine, but I think I know where to get one.
And you know how there’s always a big net full of balloons? For at the end? When all the balloons are released? And they float down, so you can pop them and stuff? Well, this year, no balloons. Chickens. Live chickens. And the net should really be a tarp, 'cause, well, they are chickens, and… you know.
And the DJ booth could be behond this wall of fire. Not really fire fire, but crêpe paper and a fan with a red light bulb under it. And she could be in a devil costume, it’s gotta be a girl DJ for this to really work.
I think this all works with our theme. Don’t you? It is going to be True Love on a South Seas Island? Right? Right?
Call me if you need more ideas. I’m going to be wrangling some chickens. Oh! And we need a roasted pig, too! And Corn Nuts! Oh! And the punch should pour from a gargoyle’s mouth into a giant trough. A trough of punch! That would be so cool! I mean kewl! Yeah!