MPSIMS Virtual Garage Sale

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Unload your used stuff and/or bad puns here, or get some more stuff (everybody needs more stuff); step right up.
Hanging by threads in the back is all the used clothing. This includes the following:
[ul]
[li]Stuffed shirts in large sizes only[/li][li]Lots of heavy pants suitable for cold winter nights[/li][li]Revealing shifts (in unexpected styles)[/li][/ul]
Furniture can be found to the right, and there are some interesting items available:
[ul]
[li]Beds of roses[/li][li]Mathematical tables (great values)[/li][li]Retired chairs of college departments[/li][/ul]
Miscellaneous Items:
[ul]
[li]Several sets of used emotional baggage in shades of blue, black, and red[/li][li]Rose-colored glassses, slightly discolored (wide array of prescriptions available, ranging from clear sight to opaque)[/li][li]Old saws, used too much; if not sold, will be disposed of[/li][/ul]
And in the free box in the corner we have ex-spouses and ex-s.o.s in various states of repair (donated by people in the neighborhood). Warning labels still attached, remove under penalty of posssible broken heart.

Does anyone have items they would like to sell or donate, or do you see anything of interest? We’ll be open until further notice. . .

2

Got any youthful enthusiasm in there?

I seem to have lost mine. :frowning:

3

Also how about a good dose of the giggles, haven’t had any of that for awhile.

Also a bag of overly optimistic view of world would be nice.

I have some dust bunnies under the bed to sell if anyone needs any.

4

No puns, but I brought a copy of “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance” and an exercise bike, because all garage sales are required to have them. I think it must be a law.

5

::sets down huge wooden crate and unpacks it::

[li]Lots of old hangups[/li]
[li]Some forgotten song lyrics[/li]
[li]A few reversible fortunes[/li]
[li]Four thousand lost phone numbers[/li]
[li]Several retractible comments[/li]
[li]A couple of summer loves[/li]
And finally:

15 billion coat hangers.

6

Oh good, more stuff!

And we can always use some more hangers.

I found three pair of soft boots behind the computer, and one pair of hard boots. We can start a pile of other men’s shoes to walk in.

We’ll put the bike out front, and start a bookshelf behind the mathematical tables.

No youthful enthusiasm at the moment, but I think a neighbor has some Richard Simmons tapes she might be able to part with.

We’ll put the dust bunnies under the beds of roses.

Keep it coming! We’ll find room!

7

At the moment I have a large, smelly foot-fungussed houseguest who listens to Poison sleeping on my couch every night.
I’m willing to part with him in exchange for teh Richard Simmons tapes.

8

I’d like to donate all the commercial jingles that keep me awake at night. Unfortunately, to list them here would be both time-consuming and needlessly sadistic.

9

Okay, I’ve got just a couple things:
[ul]
[li]a grudge - I’ve been carrying it for far too long. Free to anyone who wants to take it.[/li][li]excess complacency[/li][li]some Freudian slips (fits anyone)[/li][li]keys - I have no idea what they belong to: I found them in the junk drawer.[/li][/ul]
Where should I put the books? I have 23 books on how to control impulse buying (hey, they were all on sale!).

In return, got a spine? I found I have none. I need one that bends a little but still has good solid support.

10

We’ll hang those slips by the revealing shifts on the hangers Zenster provided.

Somebody’s uncle brought in three vested power suits, and we’ll probably hang those by the leisure suits.

A lady was just in here asking for a Salad Shooter and Ginsu knives.

Is somebody ordering out for pizza?

Turpentine, I think we’ll put your houseguest in front of the garage, barefoot, until the sale opens every morning, to keep away the early birds.

Screech-owl, no spines yet except on books; hows abouts some bracing hugs? ////screech-owl\\

[oh no! another mushy thread. . . tee hee}

11

I have about twenty-five used bowling balls in various states of dis-repair. I want the keys Screech-owl brought! To go on my never-ending keychain. I also have some piles of nice long dog hair to unload. And lots of empty audio tape boxes. And a couple of couch potatoes, complete with remote controls.

12

Here are some shattered illusions, broken heart, and crushed spirits - perhaps a clever, crafty person can turn them into a mosiac of life.

I’m looking for a little change of pace and perhaps a fresh outlook??

13

Spider drags couch potatoes to furniture section, pushes them under tables (after first taping remote controls into little plastice bags so they don’t use them on each other). She then buries the dog hair in the garden compost pile, and gives Delores Claiborne all the keys, hoping she will be able to open previously closed doors.

She directs Fairy Chat Mom to the rose-colored glasses and sets her down in front of a full length mirror for a fresh new outlook (see the beautiful lady in the mirror?).

Pizza is just arriving, with everything on it anyone could possibly want.

14

Oh, I have lots of dog hair, Delores. Maybe we can pool our resources and find someone who will knit us a couple of sweaters.

I have a jar of pennies (for all of my thoughts over the past few years)

(Pssst…I got an ounce of prevention here)

And leftover from my Boy Scout days:

A left-handed right-sided smoke shifter
A sky hook
A quart of elbow grease

15

Look what I found eating up anxiety closet space…

Well, since my girlfriend left I guess I don’t have any use for these Freudian slips, the spats they started can go too, not to mention the belt she gave me (owtch!).

16

Poor Inky- would you like to lie down on a bed of roses for a while? I’ll put the belt and spats in the accessories box, or maybe they should be in two separate boxes so there is no further trouble from them.

Dire Wolf, we have a shelf for jars of pennies, elbow grease, and prevention. That stuff’ll probably go fast. In fact, I think I want the prevention and the grease (a good combination).

And there’s still lots of pizza left (it’s fun to eat up all the profits).

17

Anchovies, oh Spider Woman how thoughtful! And you got extra sauce too!

18

hmmmmmmm, no anchovies, I hope!!

:::::: plops down cardboard box with a rip on the side:::::

Lesseeee … old dog bones, that they WOULDN’T chew, plus some shoes they DID like to chew.

movie camera bought at Sears, they don’t make the flashes for it, nor the film,…yep, good choice to sell that!!

pictures of relatives that don’t speak to us, anybody need a slightly used family, they aren’t very nice, but doesn’t everyone need a mean uncle to be afraid of???

a basement that leaks…not ALL the time, just when it sprinkles.

not helpful marriage manual books, gotta TON of those!!

Christmas light bulbs, they don’t fit in any cord, they don’t light, who can do without these???

extension cords of every color and size, yes, they do have worn spots on them, and yes, that IS actually dangerous, but what is life, if not to risk??? :wink:

Oh ** Spidy, ** this was such a lovely idea!!! Oh, here’s some lawn chairs with the bottoms chewed out of them, by heaven only knows WHAT kind of bug would eat plastic?? But, let’s sit down in the shade!!

19

Hey, Spider, do you have a life in here anywhere? I had one once but damned if I can find it anymore. Thought I’d come over and buy another one if they weren’t too expensive.

And I’ll take a slice of that pizza if it’s ok.

20

I guess I shouldn’t be eating the pizza unless I’m contributing, so let’s see what I’ve got.

Memories, the facts aren’t quite straight, but I can’t get rid of those anyway.
Time, I wouldn’t charge anything for, y’all can have as much as you need.
Dreams, lot’s of broken ones. They should go in the pile with the broken promises. Time to get rid of all those.
Joy, I’ve got tons of the stuff. Y’all can spread that around all you want.

And, let’s see what else. Beer! I’ve got beer. Anyone want one?

Jim