Muddy Boots Near Dayton

[swampbear]

Ex I used to own a pair of those pants. The zipper part where they change from long pants to shorts broke the second time I did it, so they became permanent shorts. They were cool shorts though.

Kalley I didn’t post it but the first thought that came to my mind was Cheeks is a gay bar where all the bartenders were buttless chaps. I thought that might upset folks so I decided not to post that. Oh wait… err… oh well.

I took off work two hours early Friday to go home and mow my yard. It rained exactly 10 minutes after I got home but it quit real soon so I thought great, I can still mow. However, five minutes later, it started big time raining. It lasted for an hour. So I didn’t mow. I was kinda upset cause I wanted to get it done. But not to worry, I mowed late Saturday morning and got finished just before it decided to start raining at 1:30 P.M. and rain for three and a half hours. I had a date Friday night and that was nice. He came over and we grilled steaks and watch tv and stuff. He also hasn’t been to aforementioned “clothing optional” campground for a weekend. He, like me, has just seen a sign, yeah, that’s right, a sign, for it. He is also a part of that viscious rumor about me going there the weekend after my birthday. The vicious rumor has him going with me. Ugly rumor. That’s all. Sunday, I vacuumed and backwashed the pool. I let out about an inch and a half of excess water. Then I laid around in the pool on my float for a couple hours. Then it rained again for almost two hours.

-swampbear (water logged)

[Tupug_Anachi]

@swampbear

Now scout I didn’t say the campground didn’t exist, I just said I’ve never been there. I saw a sign. Yeah, a sign. I didn’t go there with somebody for a weekend last month. That’s just a nasty, vicious rumor. You may have heard that I’m going there the weekend after my birthday. Again, that is a nasty, vicious rumor. I don’t know who would start such a rumor or why, but rest assured it is a nasty, vicious rumor. I just saw a sign, yeah, that’s it, a sign. That’s the only reason I know it exists. Really. Oh and it’s called Lumberjack Campground. It was on the sign I saw, yeah, the sign I saw said that.

Tupug just how do you know that stone is Turkish? Does it have like a passport or something to prove it? :dubious:

Say, is that camp a member of AANR? I work for the company who does AANR’s public relations. The account meetings are…erm…interesting.

Gee, Swampy, my BIL told me it came from Turkey. I don’t think he’s pulling my leg cause my little sister, Barbee Doll[sup]TM[/sup] would probably get all mad on him if he were pulling my leg. I’m just sayin…

[earthpuppy]

I heard from Bumba yesterday! He made it to town safely and has been motoring around hugging babies. We’re going out for Mexican tonight (me, my hubby, and Bumbazine). This will be my first IRL Doper encounter…I’m really looking forward to it.

buttless chaps!!! There aren’t any other kind, are there, swampy? I have a pair of leather chaps (buttless, of course) for winter motorcycle riding. But they have come in handy on other occasions, I must admit. did I just say that?!!! :eek:

[swampbear]

@Tupug Anachi

Say, is that camp a member of AANR? I work for the company who does AANR’s public relations. The account meetings are…erm…interesting.

Gee, Swampy, my BIL told me it came from Turkey. I don’t think he’s pulling my leg cause my little sister, Barbee Doll[sup]TM[/sup] would probably get all mad on him if he were pulling my leg. I’m just sayin…

AANR? American Association of Nudist Resorts? American Association of Nekkid Recreating?

I wouldn’t know Tupug. The sign, yeah, it was a sign I saw, I saw didn’t have any letter on it like that. Well, not arranged like that. I mean there coulda been two a’s an n and an r somewhere on the sign but not all arranged together like that as I recall. Since I’ve never been there I couldn’t say. Rumor has it the place has a website that might tell one that. I’ve never seen that either. Just heard the rumor, which I’m passing on.

Your BIL shouldn’t go around pulling legs. He could hurt somebody that way. Or get his face slapped. Either way it ain’t good so he shouldn’t be doing that.

[jay-c]

I’ll offer my input on Cheeks, but since I’m from Ohio, I may have an advantage. My guess is that it’s either a strip club, or a tanning salon. I’ve seen both sorts of establishments bearing the same name, so it’s a toss up.

I attended something called ComFest, a community festival “celebrating harmony, diversity, peace and justice”, on Saturday. No way you’re keeping me away from patchouli-stinking, hemp-wearing hippies selling crafts and miscellaneous drug paraphenalia. Well, that and there’s beer there too. So of course, I get the rockin’ 32oz Columbus Pale Ale in the commemorative plastic mug for the bargain price of $12. I’m sitting in an alley with my mug o’ beer, eating a rumball from some German bakery, when I see this little rodent-like thing creeping out from under a dumpster and along the side of a building.

Lo and behold, it’s a baby opossum, smaller than a kitten. Nothing cuter, IMO. It’s not to that creepy, “Good Lord, look at that friggin’ ugly-ass opossum” stage yet. I’m all “Awww, look at that! I bet he wants some rumball…” So I scamper drunkenly across the alley and offer Charlie (that’s what I named him) some rumball. After some initial hissing and baring of teeth, he realized I was giving him food, and he settles down to the business of scarfing down a rumball with roughly the same consistency as peanut butter. If you own a dog (or a peanut butter loving cat, I suppose), you know the standard animal reaction to peanut butter, and it is indeed rather humorous. So little Charlie is busily smacking his lips when it occurs to me that he must be thirsty, having downed about a tablespoon or so of the rumball at that point.

So what would Charlie like to drink? Beer, of course. So I oblige him by pouring out a little puddle of beer, which he laps up merrily. Well, apparently it takes very little alcohol to make a possum drunk. Charlie is weaving and bobbing all over the place, and we’ve garnered quite the audience. Some people think Charlie is my pet, and attempt to pet him. They learn quickly that even drunk baby possums have razor sharp teeth. Hope they were current on their tetanus shots. Others admonished me for contributing to the delinquency of a minor opossum. Yet others asked if they too can feed Charlie.

So eventually I depart the alley, delivering this one rule: you can feed him, but don’t try to pick him up, and if you have to leave, make sure someone else is there to look after Charlie. After all, I didn’t want someone’s dog to mistake Charlie for a chew toy. So, I pass by the alley again as I’m leaving ComFest, and what do I see? A cute lesbian (I assume they were lesbians, seeing as how they were both female and they kissed, but who knows?) couple stooped over, gingerly offering Charlie some curried chicken. Charlie was still scurrying merrily about, though somewhat crookedly, and he would circle back and take some food when it was offered.

So that was the highlight of my weekend - one drunk opossum. Top that.

[swampbear]

Welcome to the MMP jay-c! Excellent post there. Any post that can incorporate a hippie festival, beer, rumballs, lesbians and a drunk 'possum will get my attention everytime. So, you gonna buy a special display case to display your commerative plastic mug or are you gonna chunk it in that cabinet in the kitchen where you keep all your other commerative plastic mugs? You should take it out and use it from time to time. That way it won’t get lonely. I wonder if Charlie went home with the lesbians. That’d be a nice happy ending. Charlie being raised by a nice adoring lesbian couple.

Round here, Charlie woulda either wound up roadkill or in a nice stew for Sunday supper. Actually, he wouldn’t have been supper this time of year. Possum’s more of a cold weather dish. It’s best served with sweet taters. If anybody wants a recipe for 'possum and sweet taters, I think I can find one. Just let me know. I could also find a recipe for how to properly prepare chitlins. I’m not sure about a recipe for 'shine though. Might need to find one of those Boomershiners for that.

[Blackclaw]

@Rue DeDay

I blame Miamisburg.

We hear that a lot.

Running through Miamisburg, just off the highway, there’s an establishment. You can see their sign a ways down the road, but not the front of the building. The sign by the road says simply “Cheeks”. You have to get closer to see just what type of establishment “Cheeks” is. Guess what “Cheeks” is. I won’t be giving you any clues.
-Rue.

A fine establishment I need to get myself to. Maybe this Friday.

[Exgineer]

At this point I am supremely confident that “Cheeks” is not an ice cream parlor.

[Jurph]

RueDeDay, I am going to make life easier for you by providing you detailed directions to a more fun hike than you thought you could have in Dayton. Now, maybe you already know about Yellow Springs, and the Gorge, but here’s my recommendation for a lovely Sunday hike:

Start off no earlier than 9am. This will ensure that breakfast is ready for you when you get to the restaurant.

From I-70, take I-675 South; from I-75, take I-675 North.

Take I-675 to exit 22 (?) for Dayton-Yellow Springs Rd. Turn right at the top of the ramp, towards Yellow Springs. This works regardless of which direction you approach from.

Follow DYS Rd for a few miles. When you get into town, turn right onto Corry Street at the red-brick building, the Gypsy Café. Turn left into their parking lot. Go inside, and be sure to tell Guy (the broad-shouldered head-waiter – English pronunciation of “Guy”, not the French) that J.R. sent you. The Montezuma French Toast is great; the pecadillo is also quite good. The coconut soda is a great summertime drink. Save room for dessert. Eat up. Pay for your meal and leave.

Turn left out the door and walk one block (roughly) south. On your left will be a train trolley disguised as a bike store. Walk through their parking lot and follow the asphalt trail to the right. Enter the woods at your earliest opportunity.

Go hiking.

Get lost.

Find your way back.

Enjoy.

As a former resident of Dayton, I’ve got to say that nothing quite tops brunch at the Gypsy Cafe and a hike through the gorge and Glen Helen.

[Tupug_Anachi]

@swampbear

AANR? American Association of Nudist Resorts? American Association of Nekkid Recreating?

I wouldn’t know Tupug. The sign, yeah, it was a sign I saw, I saw didn’t have any letter on it like that. Well, not arranged like that. I mean there coulda been two a’s an n and an r somewhere on the sign but not all arranged together like that as I recall. Since I’ve never been there I couldn’t say. Rumor has it the place has a website that might tell one that. I’ve never seen that either. Just heard the rumor, which I’m passing on.

Your BIL shouldn’t go around pulling legs. He could hurt somebody that way. Or get his face slapped. Either way it ain’t good so he shouldn’t be doing that.

Very close, Swampy! American Association For Nude Recreation! You win the prize…which is a weekend package at Lumberjack Camp…for two…that is if you can still find that…er…sign.

jay-c, Tsk! Tsk! Contributing to the delinquency of a minor…possom. For shame!

[Taters]

I like to hike…in fact, I LOVE hiking. We have just beautiful country around here for that sort of recreation.

Sticks, schmiks…I don’t ever take any steenkin’ sticks to help me along the trail. Who needs that?! It’s just yet another thing to carry.

Whenever I go hiking I must have my requisite 10 lbs of trail mix. I jest of course, it not REALLY 10 lbs, but Mr. Taters thinks it’s 10 lbs. :rolleyes: I really don’t know what he’s griping about, as I am the one carrying it at all times. Of course, I have my water and my water filter and the absolutely “delectable” freeze dried entries. :rolleyes:

I have really pretty pictures from my hikes, both day hikes and overnight hikes…unfortunately, they were taken before the “digital age” so I can’t share them with you.

Oh, and I NEVER get lost. I also hunt for chantrelle mushrooms in the fall, which means you don’t get to stay on trails. Usually, I’m crawling through bushes, climbing over logs, or crawling under them; you get the picture. I’ve never been lost…EVER. I guess I have a good sense of direction.

[jay-c]

@swampbear

Welcome to the MMP jay-c! Excellent post there. Any post that can incorporate a hippie festival, beer, rumballs, lesbians and a drunk 'possum will get my attention everytime.

Awww, shucks, swampy. You’ve got me all embarrassed-like over here.

The commemorative mug won’t be stored in the cupboard, no way! The lovely shade of lime green, and the prominence of the ComFest logo is far too beautiful to be shut away with the various plastic cups I’ve accumulated in my visits to festivals and sporting events. It has traveled to work with me this fine day, and shall be my preferred water vessel henceforth. I’d prefer it to be my beer vessel, but they frown upon that sort of thing where I work - go figure. I think that I could design some bitchin’ web sites while partaking of some beer from my commemorative mug, but they disagree.

Growing up in redneck country in rural Ohio (pronounced ‘O-hi-a’ by the natives), I’ve had my share of 'possum. Squirrels and jackrabbits too. I find 'possum to be a bit stringy and a tad gamey, but palatable if there are no other options. Poor little Charlie didn’t have much meat on him yet - we’ll need to wait a while before he’s tossed in a stew. I’m hoping he went home with the lesbians. I’m picturing him nestled all snug in bed between the two of them. Okay, I’m actually picturing myself there, but that’s another thread entirely.

Oh, and if you need a recipe for chitlins, I’m sure I can oblige. Grams was one heck of a chitlins maker. Cracklins too. I don’t even know what cracklins are, and I am pretty sure I don’t want to know. But mmm… cracklins. I can even help with settin’ up your 'shine operation. Pappy’s run 'shine since he was knee high to a grasshopper.

Oh, and for all of you who wonder what in tarnation a drunk baby 'possum looks like: Charlie gettin’ his drunk on. Good thing I had my picture phone.

[Kallessa]

@earthpuppy

buttless chaps!!! There aren’t any other kind, are there, swampy? I have a pair of leather chaps (buttless, of course) for winter motorcycle riding. But they have come in handy on other occasions, I must admit. did I just say that?!!! :eek:

Just yesterday, I swear, I was talking to a friend about my lukewarm desire to get into motorcycle riding. I must admit that riding chaps, buttless or otherwise, had heretofore not been on my list of pros and cons. They will be now.

earthpuppy, please give Bumba a hug for me.

In response to jay-c’s excellent initial MMP contribution, I’ll mention that I, too, have several commemorative plastic mugs–a couple from the very fine Portland BrewFest, the BluesFest and the Bite of Portland (which should be called the FoodFest, I suppose). However, I have no experience with drunken possums. I have seen a drunk deer (fermented berries, apparently), and drunk birds (the berries again) are so common as to be unremarked upon. Hmmmm, maybe an AAA is needed (Animal Alcoholics Anonymous).

*What do you do with a drunken possum?
What do you do with a drunken possum?
What do you do with a drunken possum
Erlie in the morning?

Put him in bed with a friendly couple,
Put him bed with a friendly couple,
Put him in bed with a friendly couple
Erlie in the morning.*

[Tupug_Anachi]

Kalley, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[TheRealStrawberry]

We have some opossums living in the alley-way behind our house. I think they are ugly little vermin that carry rabies, but my husband has this weird affinity towards them. He even named one of them ‘Ralph’. How he tells the difference between 2 different opossums I will never know, though he insists he can tell the difference. Well, the other morning I was leaving for work extremely early and it was still pitch black outside. I was trying to avoid waking my husband, so I didn’t turn on any lights. This proved to be a problem on two fronts.

1[sup]st[/sup] Because I hadn’t turned on any lights I was still a bit groggy. I was counting on the multiple trips to the car wake me up.
2[sup]nd[/sup] When I looked out on the front porch it was dark and there was a big unidentifiable furry thing on the porch.
I blinked, took a small step forward, not sure if I was seeing things in my sleepy haze, and the thing opened it’s eyes. Its 14 eyes!! :eek:
I screamed, ruining my stealthy morning prepairations, woke my husband, then realized it was a momma opossum with babies riding on her back. FREAKED ME OUT!!! My husband came over, cooed at the opossum (“Oh, cute little momma 'possum”) turned and gave me a goofy look. I couldn’t do anything at that point because I felt like a complete dweeb for going nuts over such a little thing, so I gave him a kiss and was on my way.

Strawberry (who still thinks 'possums are gross)

[Kallessa]

Second verse, same as the first (not really)

*What do you do with a drunken possum?
What do you do with a drunken possum?
What do you do with a drunken possum
Erlie in the morning?

Kick her off the porch and watch her flying.
Kick her off the porch and watch her flying.
Kick her off the porch and watch her flying,
Erlie in the morning.**

The only hard part about this is that i’m not used to making up clean verses! :eek:

[Rue_DeDay]

I’ve been to Glen Helen a coupla times Jurp h, but I’ve never been to the Gypsy Café. It sounds a treat. But hiking-wise, I think I liked Germantown MetroPark a bit better. Not as crowded. They are both about the same distance, so I’ll probably rotate one then the other. Plus there’s somewhere else I should go to, too. It’s the place with the three old trees (the Three Sisters). I forget its name, but I haven’t been there yet so it’s not all that important.

But why, oh why would I want to drive all they way up to I-70 and then back to I-675? that would be silly since I’m already south of 675 and going to I-70 then back is way outta the way.

I don’t blame you, personally, Blackclaw. Just Miamisburg in general.

I’m not too keen on 'possums myself Strawberry. Nasty bitey things what’s ugly to boot. Not quite the Magesty of Nature, the 'possum.

My skeeter bites are itchy for some reason. Hmm.

Don’t be knockin’ Stick Taters. I’m warning you.

[Taters]

Rue, I wasn’t knocking Stick PERSONALLY (can one knock a stick personally?). I’m just saying I don’t need any sticks…is all.

Oh, and 'possums are just plain ugly and vicious. I’ve never eaten it either. They’re just oversized rats…

Taters…not knockin’ Rue’s stick.

[earthpuppy]

We just got home from our dinner out with Bumbazine. What a treat it was! He even brought me some hand milled pomegranate soap and some fig soap as a gift…how sweet! They smell wonderful !!! I can’t wait to use them.

Kallessa, I’ve admired you since you first started posting here, and I now have a more accurate mental picture of you in my mind thanks to Bumba’s description. I look forward to the day when we can meet IRL. Maybe by then you’ll be a Harley Mama and we can compare tatoos (I don’t really have any tatoos…yet). But I must admit that wearing leather chaps just makes you feel waaaaaaaaaaay sexy…consider it seriously, you’ll like it.

p.s. I gave him the hug you sent

earthpuppy (smelling figgy)

[Ashes_Ashes]

Ooooh, am I late or what? What can I say except that I got lost on my way to the MMP and nobody should be surprised by that. Ask scout; I get lost and then I’m late, it’s what I do.

That baby possum was cute! Adults are rather scary/icky looking but I can understand how Charlie managed to charm so many at the ComFest. The rum balls have inspired me to try my hand at making peanut butter balls. Only I’ll be using almond butter because I don’t think I have any peanut butter. I know I don’t have rum, more’s the pity.

Pomegranate and fig earthpuppy?! Those are two of my favorite smells for soap, c’mere while I take a whiff of ya. Mmmmmmm… Bumba’s got good taste.

Rue, did you ever think that Stick, being made of apple wood, would make for a loverly smelling fire someday? Let’s say Stick suffers a horrible accident and becomes Two Chubby Batons and you not being the chubby baton type, plus desirous of a fit ending for Two Chubby Batons nee Stick, would perhaps build a pyre. The pyre would most conviniently be contained in your non-cancerous bbq and since ol’ Stick always did like chicken and ribs, why he’d love helping out with a bit of appley flavor.

Swampbear’s non-adventure at the non-clothing optional non-lumberjack non-camp has reminded me of the essay David Sedaris wrote about his actual clothing optional campground experience. It was pretty darned funny but now Swampbear looks like David Sedaris in my head and I’m fairly sure that’s not right at all. I do know for a fact that Kalley looks like a pirate. Head scarf and stripey shirt and sorry about the peg leg, but they don’t refer to lawyers as sharks for nothin’.