Well, I’m not in a rage, but I’m angry enough to feel I have to write this down to put this tempest in a teapot in perspective…so hope this is the right forum for this as opposed to the Pit.
My roommates this past year have been Chinese guys and gals; cultural factors seemed to make it easier for them to all get to know each other, while I was kind of the outside dude. They were all okay-to-good roommates. Three of us are now moving into a new 5-bedroom apartment building about a half a mile away from where we currently are and two new fellows from China are going to move in with us in a few days. Now one of the guys from my current place (let’s call him Jack) is only moving in for a month; Jack and my other roommate say the former’s only going to pay half of what us normal tenets would usually pay for rent…and one of us is only going to pay half too. Supposedly, the only 2 bedrooms I haven’t seen are connected so my roommates figured that the people who sleep in those rooms only have to pay half of what the rest of us pay for rent. The weird thing about this is that Jack isn’t sleeping in one of those rooms; actually, he claimed a nice room. [After Jack leaves, we’re not going to use the 5th bedroom (because we only have one bathroom).] Okay, whatever, I’m not sure this is fair, but I’m not peeved about it; I was expecting to pay my fair share of rent.
Fine, so yesterday and today we mostly moved all our stuff. I paid someone to use his van (my roommates said they’d pay me back) and we took three trips with everybody’s big stuff (e.g. beds, cabinets, tables). Jack has a car and today he managed to have room for everything left except…well, everything of mine. My 1 suitcase of stuff, my suit jacket, my clothes, and my hangers. Now, that’s fine. They could just make one more half a mile trip back here, I could load my stuff in, and we could take it to the house, right? Apparently not. My roommates both mumbled something about not having any room left in the car and just drove off. So this guy isn’t even paying full rent, and they just drove off. Now I got stuff to do, so I’m gonna have to pay a cab to move my stuff. Wish I could ask them to help pay for it, but I know better.
So that’s my rant, mundane and pointless though it may be. I dunno, kind of pissed me off, like I’m the lesser roommate or something.
That sucks. I’d say get new roommates, but I know that is a lot easier said than done. Plus there is no guarantee the new ones will be any better.
As far as the moving goes, I’d count yourself out of the van cost, and make them split the total since after all, your didn’t get your stuff moved.
I’m a little confused on how the pricing thing happened. Why didn’t you mention you disagree with the pricing when moving into the new place? Who is going to pay the difference after they decided they aren’t paying a full share? It sounds like they are screwing you over big time. Or, as much as I hate to say it, they might be dropping some pretty big hints that it’s time for you to move on too.
They’re usually okay guys, they’ve never demanded anything of me or raised their voices. Hell, the one who isn’t Jack (let’s call him Ben) is really nice; he did most of the kitchen and the bathroom cleaning. They just screwed me over here. We signed the lease for the new place, incidentally…
I did say that, and Jack got all pissed off at me. He then proclaimed that since I was surely the only roommate who thought this, the other roommates would outvote me. Ben agreed with him. Then Jack started talking about how he learned in China that us Jews are very smart with money, but maybe sometimes we take it too far, and only care about our own self-advancement without thinking of others. I rebuked him and Ben gave him a talking-to later…that’s all I think we could do. Besides, I’ve lived with Jack a year and I’ve never heard him talk like that before…I think he was just talking out of his tuchass because he was angry. FWIW, next day he made me pancakes.
Once Jack moves out, that will leave an unused, unconnected bedroom, no? Then why doesn’t one of the roommates who is living in one of the connecting room move into that room? That would give everyone equal privacy and allow the rent to be split evenly. It doesn’t make sense to leave a bedroom unused.
You do realize that it’s very possible that they conconted this plan so that the 4 of them split 3/4 of the rent while you pay for 1/4 of it.
I’d be really ticked, and hurt, about them leaving you high and dry after you arranged the van. I’d have no issues adding in the cost of the cab before splitting it between all people who used the van.
The whole anti-semitic vibe is something that I’d be reticent to be apart of. I’d also be reticent to be in a house where I felt like an outsider. But the lease has been signed, so make the best of it.
I don’t really understand. Your roommates just drove off. What happened to the guy with the van, whom you paid for? If you paid for the use of the van, why couldn’t the van come back to make one last trip?
The van was arranged to move the big stuff on Day 1. On Day 2, they used one roommates’ car to take all the little stuff (e.g. a suitcase) left. Except for the OPer, who they left without offering to come back the half mile and pick up his stuff.
So my next question is, why didn’t the OP just ask, “Hey, can one of you give me a ride back to the old place to get the rest of my stuff? No? Too busy? Can I borrow your car for a minute then?”
I think the OP sounds like he’s (?) being a doormat. But that opinion could just be based on my poor reading comprehension skills.
Good thing you came here to vent. Hope it makes you feel better and that gives you some relief.
But life is going to continue to treat you this way until you learn to speak up for yourself. Was there any reason, when the rent thing was explained, you could not bring yourself to express that you felt it was incorrect?
And the since you were such a doormat, on that issue, they felt no twinge of need to treat you otherwise, regarding the van and your things left unmoved. Again, you did not speak up, or raise the issue, it seems.
Your other room mates are going to start treating you the same way soon, I predict. As you’ve clearly demonstrated that you’re unwilling to speak up or raise any objections. You’re in for a long year, I predict.
Still it will be a good learning experience for you and, by the time it’s over perhaps, you’ll have figured out that the time to speak up is right in the beginning, not after it’s a done deal, and to the players involved, instead of a message board of people who can only empathize.
It might not be a fun year, but you may find yourself the wiser for it. I wish you nothing but good luck with it, I think you’re going to need it!
I asked him to give me a ride and he said no. He doesn’t let anybody use his car.
Like I said, I did so express. I voiced my feeling that it was wrong several times, he got pissed, and said the rest of my roommates would vote and decide against me, that I was being unfair. Ben agreed. Look, we signed the lease already, there’s not much more I can do.
Right, so like I said, not true. I confronted Ben and told him I felt that they should pay me each for a share of the taxi ride. Instead, Ben’s arranged to get me a meal at the place where they work.
Look, sometimes with people like Jack, it’s just better to let it go; you can only confront so much and then the situation won’t get better, it’ll be exacerbated. Ben, on the other hand, is a good guy and it’s him I’m going to be living with for another year.
