She-who-must-be-obeyed returned from work the other night and was animatedly telling me about her day while applying butter to some crackers. The butter in the counter-top dish ran out and so she retrieved some more from the fridge, all the while regaling me the the (mis)adventures she had suffered. After a little while she yelled “What is wrong with this butter? Why won’t it spread”, only to find it wasn’t butter, it was cheese…
I shouldn’t have laughed so hard - after all, I’m the man who put cream soda flavoured mix-a-drink into the washing up water and then wondered why it wasn’t frothing all that well…
Once when I was very poor, I got really excited passing a French deli, because I saw some Président goat’s cheese in the window that was really inexpensive. I bought a pack and took it home to my girlfriend as a gift. I got a cracker, cut a big wedge off, and gave it to her. She took a bite and gagged. The reason it was so cheap was because it was actually a big slab of butter.
I once grabbed the box of baking soda instead of cornstarch (both yellow boxes). Baking soda makes interesting effects when added to a stir fry. It also doesn’t taste so good.
Mom was making a cake one time when me and my brother were little, and we pestered her until she let us have a taste of the “white frosting”. It was Crisco.
I got mine first, and managed to tell my brother, “Mmmm! It’s good.”
My sister was making Boca burgers for her and my mom about a year ago. My sister asked if she should spray Pam on the pan and my mom said yes. Afterwords when they were cleaning up, sitting next to the stove, was a can of Easy Off :eek:
Nothing beats a cup of dark roasted Arabica coffee with a healthy heaping of salt. My BIL thought my salt celler was my sugar dish just this past weekend!
About a year ago I threw a handful of Cinnamon Sugar Pita Chips in my mouth. Turns out they were French Onion. It’s like taking a sip of ice cold water and finding out it’s spoiled milk. I haven’t had a pita chip since.
Back when I was using powdered creamer in my coffee, I accidently poured parmesan cheese in it.
While making chili, I grabbed the cinnamon instead of the chili powder. Only a small amount went in before I caught myself. the result was so yummy, I now put a pinch of cinnamon in every batch.
When I was a kid I found something called People Crackers in the pantry. As I was biting into one, I read the box more carefully. “For dogs.”
When an ex was a little girl, she was sick. Her mother told her to drink some apple juice. She wouldn’t. She said it tasted funny. The mother got mad and said there was nothing wrong with it. Finally, to prove her point, she drank the entire cup herself. It was apple cider vinegar.
Deep into the post natal confusion that is early motherhood, I got a craving for chocolate cake.
No butter? No problem. I substituted a similar amount of canola oil.
No Cocoa? No problem. I had Milo (a sort of almost chocolate malted something milk additive)
It was only when I grabbed the baking soda instead of baking power that things became a little out of hand.
The whole lot went into the microwave and came out again looking almost like the real thing. It smelt fine. It even cut like a proper cake.
The kinda … *soapy *aftertaste meant I couldn’t finish the whole cake.
Hubby grabbed the cumin and liberally applied it to the oatmeal - instead of cinnamon. He felt bad, but insisted on taking a bite. Never again!
MIL was spending a few days at our house. She was having her daily cup of tea and added a few heaping teaspoons of kosher salt to tea. (We leave the salt out on the counter, whereas she normally leaves sugar on the counter back home.)
I love Grape Juice. So I was delighted when I found white grape juice at the grocery store. Trouble is, it looks exactly like apple juice. So, I’d pour a glass, and my eyes told me it was apple juice, so my mouth was expecting apple flavor, even though my brain knew damn well it was white grape.
It was a shock nevertheless.
I resorted to verbally psyching myself into preparing to taste grape so I could enjoy my juice. I’d pick up the glass, and out loud say, “IT’S GRAPE!” And then drink.
I had the same reaction ten years ago when they had thatclear Pepsi promotion. My brain refused to accept the regular Pepsi flavour from a 7-Up-looking beverage.
