Muscial instruments that annoy you

[Totenfeier]

@minor7flat5

A side benefit of only playing flat wounds! I don’t think they do it on purpose, it takes effort not to squeak with round-wound strings. And piezo pickups don’t help—they tend to capture that sound well.

I hate string squeak…both the sound and the feel. Thankfully, the jazz sound I seek is achieved by silky smooth flat wound strings.

I did not know that! Ignorance fought!

[FairyChatMom]

I can’t stand steel drums, or (as I just learned) steelpans. To me, that was the worst part of my Caribbean cruise - hearing them everywhere, including on the ship. make.it.stop!

[Musicat]

@Trinopus

Double-reed slide music stand, left-handed sewer flute, tromboon, and police trombone.

How do you feel about the loudest instrument ever created, the Pandemonium?

[Totenfeier]

@Trinopus

Double-reed slide music stand, left-handed sewer flute, tromboon, and police trombone.

And rosin-coated balloons, which are hand-rubbed to give a most astonishingly odious “fingernails on slate” groan.

I saw what you did there - Pretty Damned Queer!

[gotpasswords]

What, no hate for banjos yet?

There’s just something about their sound that makes my teeth hurt, and it always seems that banjos have just two volume levels - silent or drowning out everything else.

[installLSC]

@scabpicker

In digital synths, they don’t start to turn me on until the late 80’s, at the earliest.

One of the big problems with the first generation digital synths (early 80s) is they were quite difficult to program. So most acts simply used the presets on the synths, which made everything sound really similar. I remember reading a history of instruments, and when the early synths were sent back for repair almost always the presets were the only part that had been used.

[minor7flat5]

@Trinopus

Double-reed slide music stand, left-handed sewer flute, tromboon, and police trombone.

And rosin-coated balloons, which are hand-rubbed to give a most astonishingly odious “fingernails on slate” groan.

Hah!

Surely you jest, but the last one made me think of the Brazilian Cuíca

It’s an instrument that anyone who listens to samba music would recognize: it sounds like a little yappy dog complaining as its owner twists its tail.

And the instrument is kind of odd—it’s a drum with a stick attached to the head on the inside, and you rub the stick with a wet cloth.
Here’s a guy teaching how to play one.

[Trinopus]

@Musicat

How do you feel about the loudest instrument ever created, the Pandemonium?

I wish I were good enough with sound synthesizers to create a virtual one.

It’s just perfect for comedy! When each note is played for the first time, the cannonballs go clanging down the gutters into the stone urns. But the second playing of a given note doesn’t have cannonballs, only all the other sounds.

So, a piece starts off with a horrid clang, but gradually softens.

Then the composition changes keys…

[installLSC]

@GargoyleWB

Trumpets and cornets as typically used in jazz. Nails on chalkboard.

What’s your opinion on the flugelhorn (its most famous appearance)? Good, or do you just hate brass in general?

[minor7flat5]

@installLSC

What’s your opinion on the flugelhorn (its most famous appearance)? Good, or do you just hate brass in general?

I remember the first time I was struck by the beauty of the mellow tone of the flugelhorn when I was 11 or 12. My mom bought me that album.

Then they played the flugelhorn’s greatest hit non-stop for the intervening decades, to the point where it became just background noise to me.

I’m happy to say that because of your link I just listened to it again with fresh ears, with a few decades of jazz under my belt, and it retains its original beauty. I don’t know how I had come to block out the subtle horn work; I just heard the main melody in my brain over the years.

The wah-wah guitar screams out “1970s” though—all that is missing is a disco beat.

[eschereal]

@Trinopus

And rosin-coated balloons, which are hand-rubbed to give a most astonishingly odious “fingernails on slate” groan.

Then you would really not like the performance of Nena’s 99 Luftballons played on red balloons.

[Trinopus]

I LOVED THAT VIDEO! That was too brilliant! Sweet spirit of the ages, that was wonderful. Seeing that was the best thing that’s happened to me all day! Thank you! Squee!

[scabpicker]

@installLSC

One of the big problems with the first generation digital synths (early 80s) is they were quite difficult to program. So most acts simply used the presets on the synths, which made everything sound really similar. I remember reading a history of instruments, and when the early synths were sent back for repair almost always the presets were the only part that had been used.

You know, that makes a lot of sense. The interfaces got better around the time I started to be able to enjoy the sounds. Also, people got home computers that were beginning to be powerful enough to make them decent interfaces for editing the sounds and being controllers.

[Gyrate]

@Johanna

There is nothing worse on planet Earth than a vuvuzela.

This is the one I came in to post. Never mind bagpipes and kazoos and didgeridoos and banjos and ocarinas - the vuvuzela exists for the sole purpose of being annoying. It’s basically the manual equivalent of an airhorn. It is aural cancer. Fuck you, South Africa, for introducing the rest of the world to this monstrosity during the World Cup.

@kaylasdad99

Turntables.

Funnily enough, I heard a live performance of part of Gabriel Prokofiev’s Concerto for Turntables and Orchestra yesterday. I really enjoyed it. The DJ wasn’t scratching a vinyl record, though - it’s all digital these days, innit.

@Trinopus

Have you ever heard anything by Shaun Davey? He writes large-scale “festival” pieces, often for pipes and drums. His “Relief of Derry” symphony is wonderful, with some emphatic bagpipes work in the second movement.

I’m a big fan of that symphony; it’s uneven in places but the last movement is rousing as all get out.

[Nava]

@Totenfeier

Since this hasn’t been mentioned yet…when solo acoustic guitarists seem to go out of their way to squeak-slide their fingers on the strings. I suppose there is a good reason for it, but it sets my teeth on edge.

Isn’t that usually guys who normally play electric? A lot of people who are used to electric whatever don’t understand that an acoustic is actually a different instrument. (I don’t know much about guitars, but I remember a friend who does ranting about it… “raise your goddamned fingers! They’re fingers, not barbells, you can raise them!”)

[JohnT]

The flute.

Nothing more than I can’t stand the way it sounds.

[minor7flat5]

@Nava

Isn’t that usually guys who normally play electric? A lot of people who are used to electric whatever don’t understand that an acoustic is actually a different instrument. (I don’t know much about guitars, but I remember a friend who does ranting about it… “raise your goddamned fingers! They’re fingers, not barbells, you can raise them!”)

Possibly, though my own struggles with string squeak begin before I ever touched an electric.

You are correct that the solution is to raise the fingers, but if one raises the fingers enough to lose contact with the strings, one also loses a valuable point of reference while shifting positions. It’s a whole lot easier to slide a chord shape gently half way up the neck than it is to hop without touching the strings and come down accurately.

[campp]

Cowbell. Once heard, it cannot be unheard.

[simster]

My guitar sits in the corner and openly mocks me - does that count?

[Johnny_Angel]

I’m a fan of 50’s music, but I am put off when the sax gets too yackety.

I’m also a fan of 60’s soul music, but I really wish they hadn’t been so fond of the chicken horn. When I say chicken horn, does everybody know exactly what I mean by The Chicken Horn? You’re grooving along to Sweet Soul Music, and suddenly you’re hit with:

BAWK BAW-BAW-BAW-BAWA BAAAWK BAAAWK BAAAWK, BAAAWK BAAAWK BAAAWK