Okay, this bugs the hell outta me. I’m walking through the freezing cold supermarket and my ears are being assaulted by the cheesiest easy listening projective-vomit-inducing, felch-inspired poop music ever composed. Why, oh why must they do this to me? Surely there are more people walking through the market who HATE this music than like it, right?
And it’s not only the supermarket. Fast food places, cheap restaurants, and dentists’ offices are primary offenders as well. Listening to Michael Bolton while having a tooth drilled intensifies the pain tenfold!
So, business owners of America I implore you : Take your fucking Hall and your fucking Oates and fucking shove it!
What I hate is when they take perfectly decent music and “muzak-ize” it. Take all the flavor, uniqueness, zip and texture out of it, and make it into this homogenized (sp?) musical slop. An abomonation.
Hi! Every single time I go to my local grocery store, no matter what day, or time of day, they play I Want It That Way. It uncanny, almost like they “know” I’m there.
Yuk. Even Bolton would be better, or at least different for a change!
I guarantee you I’ll never hear Ice Ice Baby anywhere, tho I wish I would!!
Actually, I think it’s more like a huge segment of the population doesn’t notice. Music, other people’s feelings, traffic…
The one that bothered me the most was a software support line. They would play Mozart’ Symphonia Concertante. A pleasant enough peice. The first time. But then, when it was over, they’d play it again. And again. And AGAIN! This is all while being on hold for like 2 hours.
Personally, I think it was a plot. By the time you actually got to speak to anyone, you were ready to agree to anything, because you were so incredibly willing to hang up.
Yeha(sic), I hate the music in grocery stores. But I have found a solution that works for me.
See, we have one of those 24 hour wal-marts here. And when you go in there at like 3:30 AM on a wednesday, you can hear some pretty cool shit.
Well maybe not, but they don’t play anything over the main speakers except “Attention stocking crew, it is now time for lunch.”
And as a fringe benefit, you don’t look like a shmuck if you are wearing headphones whilst shopping.
So, if you are a night person and work nights, it may make sense to go to a 24 hour locale and do your shopping then.
Noonch.
how did it start? well i don’t know i just feel the craving. i see the flesh and it smells fresh and it’s just there for the taking…
VvvV
Yeah, I work at a Walgreens drug store and we have the same crap rock that is at supermarkets. We mainly just make fun of it, but they play the same 12 songs over and over again, and then next week it is 12 different songs. Yippee
“I have a lot of good ideas, problem is most of them suck.” -George Carlin
It’s not just the music. Supermarkets are fortresses of the Devil.
I need a loaf of bread and a gallon of milk. I walk through the doors and am blinded by 5 million watts of fluorescent tubing glaring into my eyes and reflecting off the antiseptic wax floors. I walk past mathematically-calculated, capitalistically manipulated endcap displays and find myself face to face with a disheveled old crone hunched over a tiny caldron trying to shove a small toothpick of food product into my face. I clog my ears, nose and eyes with cotton and escape the witch. I stumble into aisle 1 and find the bread.
Now for the milk. The milk is nowhere near aisle 1. It is located exactly 1/4 mile across the store in aisle 203. Countless bright displays enscribed with cryptic salespeak block my passage and attempt to distract me from my purpose. Foul, inane melodies blast through the radio-shack speakers concealed somewhere in the lofty nether-regions of the ceiling. When I finally arrive in the refrigerated area, I find that the milk on the shelf is about to expire in three days (which is just about the amount of time I need to hike back to the registers). Of course, the milk hidden in the back will be good for two weeks or so. After much digging and frostbite I’ve got the gallon of milk.
Now to pay. The “express” lane is all the way on the opposite side of the line of registers, forcing me to trek past more endcaps and “sales”.
Now while I wait for the moron in front of me to write a check for $0.95 I must be asaulted by SCANDALS, SHOCKING NEWS and SECRETS OF THE STARS. Be sexy get your man show your cleavage candy 1001 ways to improve your sex life makeup tips chocolate bars deformed mutant boy found attached to clinton’s ass breath mints get in shape fast astrology lights in sky spotted near airport could it be aliens?
When aliens DO invade the planet Earth, carrying hundreds of cryogenically frozen warriors, I’m convinced their ship will be a supermarket and their cryro-chambers: overly-cold reach-ins. Hopefully the slow-ass checkout lines will delay their attack long enough for us to hop into our 7-11s and invade THEIR homeworld.
Yet to be reconciled with the reality of the dark for a moment, I go on wandering from dream to dream.
Ever been in an FAO Schwartz? Sake Samaurai’s account of supermarkets is both humerous and accurate. But you think that that is the best that Satan can do? Ooooooooooh no!
They play the same song over and over again. And it is this annoying little one line song. Here are the lyrics:
Welcome to our world
Welcome to our world
Welcome to our world of toys
*
Again and again, from the time they open to the time they close. ARRRGGGHHH! I now understand where serial murderers come from.
