Has anyone ever seen “Identity Theft”? I thought that one was one of the few decent Lifetime movies out there. At least I actually liked it.
Mine was: Not Without My Pregnant Son
Yeah, that’s the one. Oh, I forgot Fishstick was in that movie.
Sadly, no. Witness Men Don’t Tell where Peter Strauss is the battered husband of Judith Light (with a truly bad brunette dye-job).
I liked it better when I first read it, as “The Lesbian that Love Made”.
That just sounds boring.
Just goes to show how un-memorable it was. All I remember is the badness.
And!:
"Mother, May I Binge and Purge?"
“Betrayer’s Betrayal”
"Fire My Agent: The Jaclyn Smith Story"
I got Overcoming my Pregnancy: A Promise to My Husband
I wrote an essay about missing Lifetime Channel movies: that is, real events that by all accounts SHOULD have inspired Lifetime Channel movies, but for some reason never did. Here’s a link to the essay.
What My Sore Taught Me: The Life of Britney Smith
Britney: Love Me, Love My Lesion
Overcoming My Scurvy: A Promise to My Sister
:eek: That movie just totally creeps me out. I hate Lifetime yet, if I know that movie is showing I must watch it. It’s just so creepy I have to see it.
Any chance Sister Mary is into franchising? Cause I really want me a chicken waffle. MMMMMMM… chicken waffle!
Did I ever mention the time when I first moved to Lancaster to be with supervenusfreak and got a craving one night for chicken waffles? We went to a local Waffle House and it was like a Monty Python sketch. “I’ll have chicken waffles.” “We have chicken waffles without so much chicken on 'em.” What they ended up being was the tail end of the pot, basically slightly greasy chicken broth over waffles. 
We haven’t been to that Waffle House since…been 2 years.
Now, when I want chicken waffles, supervenusfreak makes 'em for me… 
I was just joking when I said I wanted a chicken waffle earlier. Now, I mean it. I’ve never had one and feel like I’ve been deprived! SOB
Tonight on Lifetime, Not Without My Chicken Waffle: The swampbear Story.
"A middle aged fat white guy overcomes unbelievable obstacles to obtain his lifetime (HAH!) goal of tasting his first chicken waffle. While dining at Sister Mary’s Palmistry, Waffle and Chicken Hut he is gunned down by a deranged serial killer teacher who has just discovered her husband is having an affair with Florine the waitress. Staring Some Middle Aged White Hack Actor and Judith Light.
My ex-gf used to watch the Lifetime channel. She also used to make me feel guilty when I obsessively spoke about how HORRIBLE it was.
I vowed never to watch another minute of ANYTHING on that channel (unless it is for a laugh) after I was unfortunately horrified by the viewing of a “movie” titled: WIFE, MOTHER, MURDERER.
I would rather drink from the bladder of a baboon than watch Lifetime.
Danielle Steel’s Savage Disappearance
We can only hope…
I got: The Tumor That Love Made: Theresa’s Battle
also: **The Theresa Malion Story: Leave My Ashamed Husband Alone
**
wow. That is so me.
I always thought a good slogan for Lifetime would be “He Never Listens to You.” Every time I’ve parked on Lifetime, whether during a movie or a series or a sitcom, some woman is always trying to speak up—usually dishing out an unpleasant truth—and some man is always ignoring, refuting or belittling her. It’s like some weird, alternate-universe version of “Cathy.”
My mother-in-law watches that channel without ironic intent. It makes sense if you know her. I figure there are lots more out there - you know all those people sending you chain e-mail glurge, and ‘send it back to me if you are my friend’ with animated hugging bunnies? Those are the ones watching Lifetime. She also continually tries to get me to watch Two and a Half Men. “Have you ever seen this show? It is sooo good! It is hilarious!”
Oxygen is marketed as a channel for women also, and it does have some good shows.
My Lifetime movie is called E-Mail to my Deflowerer.
I picked “Scurvy” for the crisis.
The interesting thing about LIfetime and women’s television programming in general is that they’re about the best source out there for damsel in distress scenes, especially nowadays with all the reality shows and the police procedural replacing the action adventure series. Just a week or two ago, I had to decide between setting my VCR to tape a double cheerleader bound and gagged scene from a daytime soap opera being rebroadcast on Soapnet, and a rare ballgag scene from a Lifetime movie in the same time slot. This does not happen with other media …