my 100th post

The BBQ Pit
1

for my 100th post I was wondering what I should write about. I was thinking something deep and thought provoking in GD, or maybe some heartfelt poem in CS, but then, neither of those two are really my forte`. I am better at ranting. Specifically I am good at something that is the whole point of this board. Pointing out and eliminating ignorance.

Like some crazed preacher come down from the hills to exorcise the demons from your crazy aunt in the closet downstairs, I have decided to descend upon some of the ignorant masses and smite them with the power of reasoning.

And the amazing thing is that to accomplish this, I don’t even have to do anything other than point out some rather commen sense themes that are largely ignored. Such as;

The first fuck you goes to all those journalist who like to make tragedy into front page news day after day after day. Case in point: Laci Peterson. Not to mention the fact that most people don’t actually care one squirt about this chick, and the fact that we now know more about her and her shmuck of a husband than we know about most presidents throughout history. I want to focus on the fact that as soon as this tragedy occured, you could see any member of Laci’s family, or friends, or college roomates, or anyone who has ever had any contact with her at all, you could see them all over the news, crying and sobbing, making it sound like Laci was the most important person who has ever lived and mankind is now doomed without her.

Have these people no shame? Have they no respect for the dead? Have they no respect for themselves? I know if, God forbid, something was to happen to MegaWife or any of the MegaOffspring, the last thing I would want to do is give some interview with some cock sucking reporter who doesn’t give a fuck about me or my pain and only wants front page attention.

So, a pre-warning to anyone who may want to interview me in times of tragedy… DUCK, there is a size thriteen boot coming at your head that is attatched to my foot.

Second fuck you is to the entire “Credit” industry. This includes credit card companies, loan companies, and anyone who requires your credit score in order to be polite to you. This has got to be the single largest scam ever perpertrated on mankind by any group of individuals. You fucking scam people out of money on a daily basis based on no more thought than how much blood you can squeeze from there hard-working down to the bone fingers. You have no conscience, no ethics, and no morals. You will all burn in the 8 circle of hell and god willing i will be your tormentor for all of eternity.

The third rant, and most important one, is to the general population of the U.S. (present company excluded of course). I have two very important words for you… WAKE UP. What the hell is the matter with you??!! How did the strongest nation in the history of mankind get to the place in its history, where one of the more notable contribuitions to the arts include Britany “No Talent Except Whore Talent” Spears and Joe Millionare? What happened to the country that went to the moon, produced epic plays and poems, stuck up for human rights around the globe, had an honorable and decent president (nothing against GW so please don’t tell december on me)? The country where kids were ok going outside to play for hours and hours on end and never having to fear anything more dramatic than a broken bone from falling out of a tree? Nowadays, people are more concerned for themselves than they are for their own children. WTF is up with that?!?! The average Joe Sixpack is now more concerned with what happens on Friends on thursday nights than they are with what happens to their taxes in Washington.

The American culture (or, to be more specific, lack thereof) has become one of lazy, self serving, ego centric, narcissitic, gluttonous, fast food eating, brain drain fucks who have problem forming coherent sentences when asked a question of logic and reasoning. It is neigh time for a cultural revolution to the days of a more inward focusing government and outward focusing people.
P.S. please do not point out grammer/spelling errors as I am not concerned with them at this time.

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Needs more cursing.

Not too shabby though.

3

Hmmm, nothing about “goat felching” either. I mean, can you really do a milestone post pit rant without mentioning goats, or the felching thereof?

Judges?

4

You’re not really paying attention are you? Laci Peterson was missing for about a month. Missing, as in “possibly still alive, and potentially in trouble someplace where she might be recognized by someone decent IF her face and her plight are sufficiently well-advertised.” Laci’s family made damn sure that this was a big media story, for good reasons, and it worked – now they’re paying the price of using the media, which is to get used in return.

Thanks for the heads-up. I’m sure that if Mega-anybody is kidnapped, you’ll be reassured that no one will say a thing.

[quote]
Second fuck you is to the entire “Credit” industry. This includes credit card companies, loan companies, and anyone who requires your credit score in order to be polite to you. This has got to be the single largest scam ever perpertrated on mankind by any group of individuals. You fucking scam people out of money on a daily basis based on no more thought than how much blood you can squeeze from there hard-working down to the bone fingers. You have no conscience, no ethics, and no morals. You will all burn in the 8 circle of hell and god willing i will be your tormentor for all of eternity.

[quote]
Right! How dare they! I didn’t need a car! I don’t deserve one 'til 2007! And I sure as hell have no business owning a house, unless I have $300,000 in cash saved up!

Oh, I get it! It’s IRONY! A rant about fuckwallet Americans that appears to be written by a fuckwallet American – brilliant!

5

Hey NameTag… do you feel better now?

Do you think that your arguements were strong enough to win you any points with anyone? I’m just wondering, becuase the only other reason that you would make those types of comments, attacking my character and all, would be because your trying to piss me off, and I know that isn’t the case.

First, you don’t know one fucking thing about me, unless you have read some of my posts, and even then, there is not enough information for you to be able to make a judgement call on me. For instance, I could call you a fucking maggot eating, necrophiliac, cum sucking, manwhore, goat felching (thanks Chandeleur, I am not sure how that could have possibly slipped my mind), mind numbingly stupid, motherfucker. See, while I don’t have too much information about you, I am able to make a judgement call, based solely on the couple of lines I have seen you pound out on your keyboard in between masturbating and playing EQ for 37 hours straight. But, like in your posts above, just because I said it, doesn’t mean its true.

Not that I would say anything like that about you, though. I guess if I did it would be a little hipocritical wouldn’t you say.

Anyway, cherio and all that.

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So when I get to a hundred posts in a few months, I need to mark the occasion with a pit rant? If that’s the new standard, I need to start working on it now.

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Do try to make yours not suck as bad as the OP though. :wink:

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That reminds me of the post-Sept. 11 issue of The Onion with the headline (paraphrased, of course): “Americans start to care about stupid bullshit again.”, with a picture of Jennifer Lopez.